The Jaffe Briefing - May 14, 2021
STATEWIDE – Modified mask mandate? Yes! The feds are lifting the requirement that fully vaccinated people wear masks in most outdoor and indoor places. Of course, mass transit is not one of those places, as it seems people will – and should – be wearing masks on jammed NJ Transit trains until, let’s say, 2100. A great quote from the CDC: “If you are fully vaccinated, you can start doing the things that you had stopped doing because of the pandemic.” Now, the ball is in Gov. Phil Murphy’s court to decide how he will implement the federal guidelines for New Jersey, but this news is certainly a shot in the arm for the ongoing campaign to get as many of us vaccinated as quickly as possible.
TRENTON – More than $10 billion is on its way from the U.S. Mint to New Jersey, perhaps being trucked up I-95 in a glorious parade of armored trucks. The big question: Once the pallets of cash are unloaded at the shipping dock beginning at the State House, and then neatly stacked in any available offices and cubicles, what does New Jersey do with it? We can use these bricks of cash as, perhaps, doorstops, or the Office of the State Comptroller may have better ideas. That office is fiercely independent, NJ.com reports, and it will be charged in the near-impossible task of ensuring cash is spent as the feds intended. There is even a clever name for this valiant effort: The COVID-19 Compliance and Oversight Project. There are two full-time employees assigned here, with more to come, as the cash starts flying throughout New Jersey. Good luck trying to catch it.
STATEWIDE – Feel free to go to the community pool this summer, just somehow stay six feet away from each other. Huh? Yep, that is the latest requirement, as you make your summer plans to play Marco Polo. This summer, there will no longer be caps on how many people can be admitted to the pool grounds, but when you are not splashing, you are still required to wear a mask, greatly impacting tan lines or any friendly, informal banter with a lifeguard. The 50% capacity limit ends May 19. Just in time.
BRIEFING BREATHER
The opposite sides of a die will always add up to seven.
SALEM – Are you a public employee or politician? Then, do nothing. Nothing at all. Remember, you can’t offend someone if you don’t speak, write or breathe too loudly. That lesson is now being learned by Salem County Deputy Administrator Stacy Pennington, who sent a May 5 email on her government-issued account that contained a meme with the words “Happy Cinco De Mayo” and a photo of a jar of mayonnaise in a sink. One can assume Pennington thought this was a light joke, as opposed to an intentional slight against the Mexican community. But now a union representing Salem County workers is demanding a formal apology and diversity training, saying the county official circulated a culturally insensitive meme. The union is saying Pennington’s “inappropriate email” violated the union’s collective bargaining agreement with the county and personnel policies, including a policy against harassment, NJ.com reports. Yeah, Pennington should have known better. This is not a time for attempted humor, intended or not.
DOWN THE SHORE – The sand is apparently mixed with gold, as shore towns made a fortune last year on beach badges – despite all the COVID restrictions. The Asbury Park Press says some towns hit all-time revenue records, with the oceanfront towns in Monmouth County scooping up more than $24.5 million last summer, about 25% more than in 2019 when there were zero limits on crowds. Both Belmar and Long Branch saw beach tag revenue jump by more than $1 million, while towns in Ocean County also killed it, with beach badge revenue topping $11 million. Our free marketing message of the morning: Create an intentional shortage, and then charge a premium for access. And then enjoy the cash windfall. Be like the shore.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
FRYEBURG, Maine — A Maine police chief was so desperate to skip a boring government meeting that he invented a suspicious person that he needed to investigate. It began when he texted one of his officers, asking to call him out of the February 2020 meeting with the Fryeburg Board of Selectmen. Free from the room – and the blowhards’ ongoing discussion about nothing – the police chief drove his cruiser to the Fryeburg Fairgrounds – let’s assume with the music blaring. There, he used the computer in his cruiser to create a false entry in the department dispatch system that said he drove there in response to a report of a suspicious person, the Bangor Daily News reports. For good measure, he entered a fairground employee’s license plate number into the entry. Sure, he has now been fired by the Maine Criminal Justice Academy, who revoked his license. But he will never, ever, again be required to attend a meeting of the Fryeburg Board of Selectmen. It makes it all worth it.
LAW TALK
Attorney: Were you present when your photo was taken?
Witness: Are you kidding me?
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was payday for NBC on this day in 1998, when Seinfeld aired its last episode and ads sold for $2 million a pop.
WORD OF THE DAY
Canoodle – [kəˈno͞odl] – verb
Definition: To engage in amorous embracing, caressing
Example: Stop canoodling me over dinner!
WIT OF THE DAY
“We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends.”
-PD James
BIDEN BLURB
"I guess what I'm trying to say without boring you too long at breakfast—and you all look dull as hell, I might add. The dullest audience I have ever spoken to. Just sitting there, staring at me. Pretend you like me!
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Beauty