The Jaffe Briefing - March 3, 2021

STATEWIDE – It’s time – yet again – to look at those itty-bitty school districts, draining taxpayers with the high-paid administrators, support staff and consultants to serve just one or two school buildings. Senate President Steve Sweeney is absolutely right that New Jersey will never dig itself out of this property tax mess if we continue to fund all this glaring waste. Sweeney is calling for sweeping consolidation of schools, beginning with a study to see if Salem County can be wrapped into one mega school district, equipped with all the resources that the small, rural districts could never afford. It all makes obvious sense. And it made obvious sense 10 years ago or 20 years ago, when others dared to make the suggestion. The question is – as it has always been – will New Jerseyans finally be willing to sacrifice home rule to make this state affordable?

TRENTON – Can you imagine retiring before you turn 40? Of course not – especially with us funding the itty-bitty school districts. But there is now a bill before Gov. Phil Murphy that would allow police and firefighters to retire after just 20 years of service, regardless of age, and begin to collect a pension. Under the proposed law, our emergency responders wouldn’t have to wait until they were 55 years old before filing their retirement papers, replacing the uniform with a Hawaiian shirt. There are 7,630 cops and firefighters who would be eligible for this special deal, which would only be in place for two years to ensure the retirement system isn’t slammed. Ultimately, this is all about saving money, as those who retire after just two decades wouldn’t be eligible for those expensive health benefits.

PALISADES PARK – Yet another quiet, sleepy, suburban hamlet in New Jersey is a disaster. The state’s comptroller offers a must-read report about the Palisades Park government, a roadmap on exactly what not to do. The Record reports the town blew through hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars in sick time payouts, contracts that allow top officials to pad six-figure salaries and other awful financial management. The 56-page report highlights how the business administrator used town funds to defend himself from a federal investigation into his private business. There’s also the CFO who works mostly from home and never bothered to track his time. There’s the deputy business administrator using a municipal vehicle while also getting a $250 monthly car allowance. Among other examples cited: council members submitting dubious expense reports, town employees filling their personal gas tanks on the borough’s dime and town employees reporting their own sick time, leaving finance officials with zero knowledge of what was used in determining annual payouts. The all-Democratic mayor and council didn’t respond to the Record, as you can imagine, but the borough attorney offered this gem: “When policies have been in place that long, you don’t always look at things as critically as you should.”

BRIEFING BREATHER

Humans are the only animals with shrinking brains.

RAHWAY – First, everyone was celebrating that a New Brunswick company invented the one-dose vaccine that will save countless lives. And now a Rahway company is stepping into the spotlight, with Merck joining in the mass manufacturing of the J&J vaccine. New Jersey now has a powerful dynamic duo in this fight, with the feds now focusing on the vaccination of teachers nationally and speeding up timetables to create enough vaccines for every American – now by the end of May. Forgive all the gushing optimism; it’s just been such a long 12 months.

HOWELL – Attempting to remove politics from local elections here, five activists are pushing for Howell to join 88 other New Jersey towns with nonpartisan forms of government. School board member Marc Parisi, spokesman for “Howell NJ First,” tells the Tri-Town News that “nearly everyone is fed up with party politics,” and switching may make Town Hall “more inclusive and representative.” Parisi says mayor and council candidates should be elected “on character and ideas… not loyalties to local political parties.” His group just started an online petition and needs signatures from more than 2,500 registered voters to get the initiative on a Nov. 2 ballot referendum. Great! But locals should know that plenty of non-partisan towns have bloodbath campaigns, just without the official party backing or all those colorful balloons.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NEW HAVEN, CT. – It began nine years ago when a pair of young women met while working together at the Russian Lady restaurant in town. They quickly became fast friends, learning they both had Dominican Republic tattoos and – wouldn’t you know it – they both happened to be adopted. Fast forward to 2019: One of the workers was able to reconnect with her biological family and – drum roll, please – it was learned that the family just happened to have another daughter around her age that had also been put up for adoption. The plot then thickens. The two friends decide one night to do a DNA test, which quickly popped out the fact that they were long-lost sisters. (Insert hugs and tears here.) They’ve since learned they were part of a brood of nine brothers and sisters, who will now likely need to rent out the Russian Lady for all weddings and christenings.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1982 that the U.S. Senate begins debate on the expulsion of Sen. Harrison Williams (D-NJ), a corrupt politician snared in the FBI's famous ABSCAM sting operation. (Williams resigned from the Senate eight days later.)

WORD OF THE DAY

Organoleptic – [or-guh-noh-LEP-tik] – adjective

Definition: Involving use of the sense organs

Example: After some deep inhales, I enjoyed my first sip of this 21-year scotch from Islay. I worked it around my mouth. I swirled. I put it under my tongue for a light sting. And then I took a long, second slurp. It was not particularly elegant and certainly not delicate, but I was able to successfully probe the subtler, organoleptic qualities of this very special brown liquid as it glimmered off the sides of my favorite rocks glass.

WIT OF THE DAY

“And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? It'd be interesting to check that.”

-Donald J. Trump

BIDEN BLURB

“I can’t believe I have to say this, but please don’t drink bleach.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Surging