The Jaffe Briefing - October 6, 2020
MONTCLAIR – Economists keep trying to explain why the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer – even in a pandemic that has thrown the global economy into this topsy-turvy turmoil. Very average houses in Montclair are now flying off the shelf at $750,000 a pop, while people in nearby Bloomfield can barely afford the rent on a two-bedroom apartment. What gives? Well, the fact is our richest Americans – like the ones now sipping espresso on Upper Mountain Avenue – own 50% of all the stocks, while the top 10% of them gobble up 88% of the stock share. The stock market – which Trump gauges as his success-o-meter – is up 30% in the past six months in this “K-shaped” recovery, which means poor people are endlessly struggling, as they watch the sailboats lazily meander down the Hudson. Not to throw politics in this, but how does that message resound in critical states like Pennsylvania and Michigan, which are must-wins for the president?
MORRISTOWN – So, how is former Gov. Chris Christie really doing? No clue. How is President Trump? Truly no idea. And the rest of the White House staff and all the other inner circle of Trumpians who have contracted COVID, yet refuse to contact trace? We won’t really know anything until after the polls close on Nov. 3, when there will be a race to publish all the tell-all books of this historic 2020 election. The fact is the American people have been shoved so much nonsense in recent years that we no longer demand the truth. Rather, if things can be somewhat “truthy” or “truth-like” or “10% true,” that seems the best we can possibly expect. Just plod onward. Mask On. Mask Off.
LAKEWOOD - Shut this town down. There are now 4,821 positive cases of COVID among those who agree to get tested, with 204 deaths as of yesterday morning. With something like 4% of the town's population testing positive, after months of demands of social distancing, mask wearing and basic common sense, it looks like someone is still not getting the message. More than 27 percent of Lakewood’s new tests came back positive on Sept. 28, compared to less than 2.5 percent for all of New Jersey. We all love Lakewood, but shut down everything.
BRIEFING BREATHER
The Twitter bird actually has a name – Larry.
STATEWIDE – While everyone is well aware of the big ticket decision on the mail-in ballot for November 3, marijuana activists are asking us all to flip to the other side. There, you will see some ballot questions, one of which would decide, finally and forever, if New Jerseyans should be allowed to buy recreational weed. Gov. Phil Murphy has been banging this drum since he announced his run for governor, eager to collect millions of dollars from the state’s stoners. If voters decide “Yes,” which seems likely among our informal poll of participants in our fantasy football league, then it is up to the state Legislature to figure this all out. So, expect your first legal hit within the next few months, if that’s your thing.
BACKWOODS – Expect some special guests at your next picnic, as state officials are considering an end to annual bear hunts. Gov. Phil Murphy says the 2020 bear hunt, limited to just a few days in October and November, would be the last hunt of his administration. Of course, hunters are apoplectic, as they would soon need to find another way to legally discharge their stockpile of weapons as they laugh maniacally. Plus, everyone knows you never look good in plaid if you aren’t carrying a shotgun. Hunters told NJ.com that a bear management plan controls the population, saves the crops and is mandatory in such congested places like New Jersey. Murphy doesn’t appear swayed, as an ongoing opponent to the annual bear hunts that have infuriated our animal rights activists.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MARS – Groupon has an “out of this world” offer for you this morning: an acre on Mars for just $15 (normally $35.) That’s right, someone is selling acres on our solar system’s fourth planet, with the package including a deed, a map with a specific location of your land and a Mars e-book to help with your first visit. While this is certainly a great buy, the Jaffe Briefing has another, super-special offer for you to consider: We now have a 2:1 deal on acres of land in Jupiter. That’s right! Just send us $15 and we will sell you two acres on that planet, an obvious steal. Learn more about where to send your money by emailing
THE PLANET – As the world races toward a vaccine, some people are getting caught up in the details. Blame that pesky Air Transportation Association, which dares to question how exactly our international leaders plan to get the vaccine to the people. Follow the logic. There are now about 1,000 747 cargo planes on the entire planet. Yet, to provide a single dose to the world’s 7.8 billion people would require 8,000 fully-filled freighters. And that would also mean the existing cargo planes couldn’t be used for other stuff, like shipping all the useless crap we buy from China. Oh, and vaccines happen to be fragile. They need constant, near-freezing temperatures to survive the trip. So, make sure all these new cargo plans feature on-air “freezer farms,” as well.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Another big accolade for the always-successful New York Jets, as kicker Nick Lowrey ties Jan Stenerud with 373 field goals on this day in 1996.
WORD OF THE DAY
Forebear – [FOR-bair] – noun
Definition: Ancestor or precursor
Example: My forebears would be amazed to see how this White House is ignoring any efforts at contact tracing.
WIT OF THE DAY
“You don’t get points for standing if you shoot yourself in the foot.”
-John Dickerson
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“Don’t be afraid of COVID. Don’t let it dominate your life. Get out there!”
-Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Pleasant
THE NEW 60
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