The Jaffe Briefing - September 21, 2020
Editor’s Note: It is a momentous moment! The Jaffe Briefing has surpassed 35,000 subscribers, growing from just 450 readers in 2011. Thank you to all in New Jersey who support our growing morning newsletter.
STATEWIDE – Seniors read. Seniors talk to each other. Seniors vote. So why are seniors not entitled to the proposed $500 tax rebates that state legislative leaders are pushing, as part of the deal to bring the millionaire’s tax to New Jersey? That’s the big question from NJ.com this morning, noting the rebate is only for 800,000 low- and middle-income families with at least one dependent child. The rebate is set to arrive next summer, long after anyone remembers this program is even in place. Seniors have a great argument: They’ve been paying taxes here longer than anyone else, so what’s the deal? The deal, it seems, is that seniors already get Homestead and Senior Freeze property tax credits. These new rebates are all about helping younger, overwhelmed families, at some point, and hoping it somehow moves the needle.
TRENTON – Once you get your $500 rebate, perhaps you can use it to pay up to a $500 fine for not wearing a mask in a store. NJ 101.5 reports the Assembly is considering a bill that would slap a fine on anyone who does not cover their nose and mouth in stores, thus ignoring Gov. Phil Murphy’s executive orders about this public health emergency. Democrats proposed the bill as a way to curb the spread. Meanwhile, Republicans pounced, citing civil liberties and unfairly forcing cops to enforce the law. Also, they ask, why can’t store owners just boot these unmasked people?
GALLOWAY TOWNSHIP – It seems like one of the last places on Earth that a Trump would show himself is this Atlantic City bedroom community, home to many former employees of the famously failed casinos and all the stiffed companies who Trump never paid. But since we live in this mind-splitting Bizarro world, sure, let’s welcome Donald Trump Jr. tomorrow to the Smithville Inn. To split your brain even further, his fundraiser is titled, “Donald Trump Jr. — Hate Has No Place in South Jersey!” He brings his girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle. Neither, of course, would never, ever spew hate.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Most Korean people don’t have armpit odor.
NEW BRUNSWICK – It’s likely that Rutgers Athletic Director Patrick Hobbs wakes up each morning and breathlessly runs to his computer, eager to see our opinion on all things related to Scarlet Knights football. So, here is our latest unsolicited opinion: While it is understandable that fans and students cannot be inside the stadium on game day, why not open the expansive parking lots for socially-distanced, responsible tailgates, with large screens broadcasting the live games? That way, there is still a Big 10 football experience on campus, to some degree, with an opportunity for some RU comradery. Heck, perhaps all the cheering in the parking lots can even be broadcast inside the stadium for the players to see and hear, showing the fan base is still there, rooting hard. And, yeah, charge $50 or so a car to pay for security, staff and clean-up. For RU fans, it is money well spent.
NEWARK – With the pandemic greatly limiting student life at NJIT, things have been a bit boring this school year in downtown Newark. But now, for students living in the Cyprus Hall dorm, things have become downright stagnant. That’s because all 300 kids living in the residence are banned from accessing any other NJIT building for the time being, as sewage from the building showed a high concentration of COVID 19 following a weekly test of student excrement. (Sigh, 2020) Meanwhile, none of the kids are showing symptoms, as test results are due back today. Suddenly, being back in the burbs with mom and dad doesn’t seem so dreadful.
NOT FLEMINGTON – A Branchburg man is getting some early experience in paying college tuition, being forced to pay at least $26,699 for sending his daughter to Hunterdon Central High School in Flemington. He says it's all unfair, adding he has been in steady contact with the impatient folks over at Hunterdon Central about his three different efforts to secure housing within the district. The family was living in an extended stay hotel in Branchburg during all of this. State education officials say the fact that the out-of-town guy kept in contact with school officials to share his tale of woe is not a legitimate excuse for the fact his daughter was living elsewhere.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
GREAT MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – Let’s just assume a couple was simply exchanging lessons in basic policing techniques, when cops received an emergency call in the wee hours of the morning. A man was trapped in handcuffs at 4:30 a.m. Friday, when his girlfriend somehow lost the key. Police tweeted that the man wanted police to respond as “he feared the fire brigade would cut them and they were expensive.” Responding officers were able to release the cuffs, and perhaps provided a lesson to the red-faced couple about proper handling of restraint devices that next time these lovebirds, um, study basic policing.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Bernardsville made national news on this day in 1988, when Mike Tyson smashed a TV camera outside of his mansion.
WORD OF THE DAY
Fountainhead – [FOUN-ton-hed] – noun
Definition: a spring that is the source of a stream
Example: As I picked my fall apples, I approached a glistening fountainhead.
WIT OF THE DAY
“I am not a person who is particularly patient with anyone so I am certainly not going to be patient with myself I think.”
-Lou Dobbs
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“Buy Lou’s GREAT New Book!”
-Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Apple-picking
THE NEW 60
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