The Jaffe Briefing - September 14, 2020

STATEWIDE – When the very first Model T chugged down Route 27 in 1908, let’s assume the motorist was heading to the state’s very first MVC office. And let’s assume he was welcomed by an unexplainable line of impatient people and one overwhelmed employee, already surly and on a smoke break. Long, impenetrable lines at the MVC have been around since the invention of the spark plug. Yet a new generation of state leaders are the latest to believe they can solve the chronic service gaps. God love `em, as these lawmakers are now enacting special MVC hours for senior citizens and those with medical conditions. They also are allowing driver’s license photos to be used for up to 12 years, reducing the need for us to descend into the endless abyss of despair, otherwise known as the local MVC office. 

TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy sought permission from state lawmakers to borrow up to $9.9 billion without voter approval and take up to 35 years to pay the money back. Dominated by his fellow Democrats, the state Legislature gave him the go-ahead, while Republicans grumbled from the back bench about mortgaging the future and even went to court to block the borrowing. “New Jersey already has a reputation for running big structural budget deficits,” notes NJ Spotlight in a story about the fiscal wrangling. So, should we now be jumping up and down that Team Murphy has scaled back its borrowing ambitions to a more modest $4 billion on a 10-year repayment schedule? Expect lots more arguing on this topic as the Oct. 1 deadline looms for a new budget, followed by a new generation of hopeless debt. 

BRIEFING BREATHER

Bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun.

MAHWAH – New Jersey wants to slap a tax on financial transactions through the New York Stock Exchange, which runs its primary datacenter in Mahwah. No friggin’ way, says the NYSE, announcing it will be running all of its transactions out of Chicago from Sept. 28 to Oct. 2 – just to show Gov. Phil Murphy how it can seamlessly run out of the Garden State. “Any tax imposed will be passed through to NYSE members, and ultimately their clients, who are often the very same Main Street investors who reside in states like New Jersey and elsewhere,” the NYSE wrote to its members. Murphy, in response, was reported in Politico as saying, "The notion that we could all come together and say, 'We don’t love this idea, but we’re prepared to give a little bit of blood to help us get through this together in one piece for the next couple of years,' I think that’s reasonable."  Sure, reasonable… But feasible?

FLEMINGTON – There are two very, very different New Jerseys. There’s the progressive New Jersey, which has been constantly striving for ways to scrub any systemic racism from the state. And there’s another New Jersey in the eyes of super conservatives like State Sen. Michael Doherty, who denies any systemic racism exists and claims many just want to live in a lawless society. In fact, the Warren County lawmaker is quick to dismiss the Black Lives Matter movement as a Marxist organization, the Courier News reports. The senator sees the so-called Marxist groups as burning cities, burning churches, destroying private property and terrorizing Americans. "Free, taxpayer-funded heat, electricity, cell phones, internet, regardless of race…There is no systemic racism," he claims. Of course, many, many in New Jersey would vehemently disagree, showing, yet again, that we are living in a state with two opposing perceived realities.

ATLANTIC CITY – Former Gov. Chris Christie had high hopes at one point of being in the Oval Office about now, but he certainly has a nice consolation prize. According to CarWash.com, the official trade publication for all things related to car washes, the former Presidential hopeful has clinched the keynote speaking slot at the 31st Northeast Regional Carwash Convention Oct. 4-6 next year at the Hard Rock.  Now, this speaking event could not be possible without the good people from Micrologic and InnovateIT, conference sponsors. Perhaps Christie will stick around AC to sign autographs, shake hands and get his undercarriage waxed.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

PHILADELPHIA – Well wishes continue to stream in from all corners of the globe, as Phillies pitcher Zack Wheeler continues to heal from injuring his fingernail while putting on his pants. The former Met, now earning $118 million over five years, was pulled from the rotation on Saturday, as doctors continue to closely monitor the fingernail on his right middle finger, following the pitcher’s failed attempt to dress himself. Manager Joe Girardi vows this is not some sick joke, noting “You can’t make this up” and “It’s very sore.” Meanwhile #SaveZack continues to trend on Twitter, as well as perhaps one or two candlelight vigils.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

It was this day in 2010 that Raul Castro, head of the Cuban government, says he will fire 500,000 state workers, creating widespread unemployment and economic devastation, to, uh, improve Cuba’s economy.

WORD OF THE DAY

Lapidify – [luh-pid-uh-fahy] – verb

Definition: To turn into stone

Example: Perhaps in a few years a slow seepage, rich in minerals, would fill the MVC office, gradually gluing customers’ bodies to the seats, where they sat, to seal their crypt and lapidify their bones.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away.”

-Fidel Castro

TODAY'S TRUMPISM

“Sleepy Joe Biden has spent 47 years in politics being terrible to Hispanics. Now he is relying on Castro lover Bernie Sanders to help him out.”

-Donald J. Trump

WEATHER IN A WORD

Sunshine 

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