The Jaffe Briefing - July 17, 2020
DOVER – Hey, mess up your own parks. That’s the message for all those slobs from Pennsylvania and New York, who have been heading to the 420-acre Hedden County Park this summer. They’ve fouled the bathrooms in indescribable ways, littered everywhere, drank themselves silly, built illegal fires and even clogged a brook to build their own swimming pools, NJ 101.5 reports. There was even a real-life dumpster fire by out-of-state idiots who chucked in their smoldering charcoal. Of course, most of the license plates of these horrid visitors came from New York and Pennsylvania. And that helped prompt ticked-odd county park officials to shut the facility down until July 28, perhaps to scrub the entire place and ensure no one from Bucks County is still sleeping off a hooch-infused booze-fest. Apparently, Hedden County Park is all over social media for being a great place to trash. Have we mentioned Staten Island has some lovely parks?
DOWN THE SHORE – Some people call it sunny-day flooding; others consider it nuisance or high-tide flooding. It’s the flooding that comes, not from storms, but when a full moon or tidal currents swell the existing effect of higher sea levels. It’s a growing threat to coastal communities around the country, especially along the Atlantic coast. More trouble for the good ole’ Jersey Shore. NJ Spotlight has the far-from-sunny details, delivered in a foreboding report from the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration. It details a significant increase in the number of such floods over the past two decades and forecasts yet as ocean levels increase. Time to consider that dream oceanfront house in Freehold?
TOMS RIVER – Ocean County freeholders are a contrary bunch. They’re opposed to open-toe shoes, legalizing pot, giving sanctuary to immigrants or almost anything they see as wildly (or even mildly) liberal. So, it’s no surprise they don’t want to be renamed “commissioners.” The Asbury Park Press says this all-Republican board – in one of our state’s reddest counties – won’t surrender easily to this Democrat-backed proposal. A Bayville senior citizen, earlier this week, also urged them to fight the title change: “You don’t look like slaveholders to me. If anybody is offended: Too bad.” Speaking for her colleagues, Freeholder Director Ginny Haines replied: “We are totally against it. It’s like changing history,” adding the state and its counties have more crucial issues at the moment. Erasing symbols of racial injustice apparently isn’t a priority.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Kids ask, on average, 300 questions a day.
MORRISTOWN – Hey! No running. And no heavy breathing. At least not on busy South Street in the downtown. That’s Mayor Tim Dougherty’s request to avid runners who enjoy using South Street’s sidewalks to access a nearby county park with wooded trails. With most downtown restaurants offering outdoor dining, there isn’t enough room for tables, chairs, customers and all these huffing and puffing runners. Because diners can’t wear masks while eating, the mayor suggests that runners pose a greater germ-spreading risk. Plus, of course, there’s the potential peril of colliding with waiters hauling trays of food. Dougherty is also urging runners to stay 12-to-16 feet apart from anyone because of “their heavier breathing.” That’s more socially distant than the state’s “six-foot” rule. But, with everything going on these days, it makes sense.
WASHINGTON TWP – A cop’s body-cam video doesn’t go viral very often, especially when he’s nabbed in an act of kindness. But, Officer John Freitag became a local social media celebrity for reaching into his own wallet to pay for a troubled convenience store customer’s gas. The cashier called police after the customer’s credit got declined and he didn’t have $10 cash. Freitag tells ABC News that helping out this man “was just the right thing to do.” The 16-year veteran cop of the Gloucester County department posted body-camera video of his generosity on Facebook. It quickly racked up more than 60,000 views. Freitag hopes it reminds people that police officers “are human beings and we do have feelings of empathy, compassion.”
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MOUNT LEBANON – Boy, Pennsylvania politics is so different. Just head across the Delaware River, and politicians actually, well, seem nice to each other. Case in point: Democratic Sen. Pam Iovino lost her wallet, dropping it on Cochran Road. Her challenger for the 37th District seat, Devlin Robinson, saw it, picked it up and – get this – actually returned it to her. Robinson writes on Facebook: “I was happy to return this item, a bit battered by passing traffic, to Pam Iovino. She was thrilled to have it back and I was delighted to help out a fellow veteran.” Iovino responded: “Thanks, Devlin!" Now, here’s what would have happened if this wallet was lost in Jersey: A scathing mailer with a screaming headline: “If Pam Iovino Can’t Keep Track of Her Own Wallet, Just Imagine What She Would Do to Your Taxes!” Expect robocalls, rallies and hearings, as part of “Wallet-Gate,” as Iovino denies it was her wallet and calls out Robinson for planting it. Fingers point, lawsuits fly and then everyone heads to court.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1989 that Paul McCartney releases “This One.” It is much better than “That One.”
WORD OF THE DAY
Mien – [MEEN] – adjective
Definition: Air or bearing, especially as expressive of attitude or personality
Example: The boss always projects this stern and serious mien, and then hides in her office and plays Candy Crush through lunch.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Life is too short to have anything but delusional notions about yourself.”
-Gene Simmons
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“Our poll numbers are rising fast, the economy is getting better, vaccines and therapeutics will [be here] soon...”
- Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Mixed
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
