The Jaffe Briefing - June 12, 2020
STATEWIDE –You know that mop on your head, once considered a hairstyle? Well, after three long months of wild, uncontrolled growth, it looks like you will finally get in a barber’s chair beginning June 22. What will that experience be like? The state is still working on it, as frustrated barbers sit, stew and try not to stab themselves with scissors. Barbers are trying to get ahead of it all, investing heavily in PPE, cleaning products, social distancing measures and anything else they can think of to be safe. But there are still lingering questions, NJ.com notes, such as how many customers will be allowed in the shop and if Plexiglas will be required. It all really doesn't matter, owners say, as they just want to turn that barber’s pole back on and get some money back into the register. No short cuts, here.
CAMDEN – With George Floyd protests roiling — and dividing — our nation, take a bow, Camden, for the way people in your city have protested. Peacefully, and notably with residents and police marching side by side in a united front; Police Chief Joseph Wysocki and other officers joined in a Black Lives Matter march on May 30. Yes, the same Camden that once had some of the highest rates of crime and poverty in the U.S. Granted, poverty and economic distress have not gone away. But what has changed, NJ Spotlight reports, is the relationship between the community and police. Residents and officials alike say that transformation is what allowed for the protests to be so calm, thankfully.
TRENTON – The story has been that New Jersey dropped the ball on handing out unemployment checks, leaving thousands to dial in to the labor office day after day, desperate for a check. But, while that was certainly the scenario in early spring, with the state facing an onslaught of 1.2 million claims, state officials now say that 94% of those who filed for unemployment are now getting benefits. While we all must wonder about the other 6%, it is pretty amazing that the state Department of Labor – never faced with a massive and immediate pandemic – was able to keep the lights on, processing claim after claim. It is assuring that government works for you – no matter the challenge – … eventually.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Women manage the money and pay the bills in 75% of American households.
ASBURY PARK – Is Gov. Phil Murphy going to dispatch the National Guard to block restaurants from serving tourists inside? Let’s assume not, although that would make for absolutely terrific news copy. But the governor is rightfully ticked off that the City Council is making national headlines, passing its own law to allow inside dining beginning Monday. Murphy is vowing “enforcement,” whatever that means, as other towns are quietly watching how he responds to those scrappy whipper-snappers in Asbury Park. Murphy is right; you can’t have one set of laws in one town and another set of laws in another. But what is he prepared to do about it?
ATLANTIC CITY – For months, the news cycle has talked about the impending demolition of Trump Plaza, an eyesore that is falling apart and has become a health risk for anyone who dares to walk by. Thankfully, billionaire Carl Icahn has applied for a demolition permit for both towers, meaning this hulking mass of failure will finally be gone and allow people to once again see the Atlantic Ocean when they reach the city. The question is: When will this thing go, already? City officials want Trump Plaza gone by the end of the year, but Icahn sees this as something that can be accomplished by next summer. Hopefully, work can commence quickly. No one disagrees: AC has waited long enough.
BRICK – A police sergeant came to the rescue of a choking EMT, using the Heimlich maneuver to dislodge a snack food that got caught in her throat. The EMT was seated in the lobby at police headquarters to screen visitors for COVID-19 when her airway became blocked. A security video from Tuesday shows the EMT, clearly in trouble, banging on the police desk’s front window for help. The Brick Times says Sgt. Charles Kelly, an 11-year police veteran, used a series of abdominal thrusts to force the obstruction from her throat. “And this is why we train,” he says.
IN THE MEDIA
If you read MAD magazine – and who didn’t at some point? – you would certainly know the name Al Jaffee. And you probably assume he is dead by now. But, no, Jaffee is still alive and kicking. He is 99 years old and is making news this morning – announcing his retirement as one of the best-known, impactful cartoonists of all time, who served his industry longer than anyone. The inventor of “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions,” Jaffee was the Moses to a legion of adolescents who hung on his every word or drawing.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
APOLLO BAY, AUSTRALIA – Locals looking for a gin martini got one heck of surprise, as the bottle of SS Casino Gin had an odd taste. So odd, in fact, it tasted exactly like the hand sanitizer that was mistakenly put in the bottles at the distillery. Patrons at the Great Ocean Road Brewhouse got a cocktail of glycerol and hydrogen peroxide, as nine bottles of hand sanitizer were unknowingly behind the bar. In quickly issuing a recall, the distillery warned patrons that drinking this dry “gin” could cause nausea, headaches and dizziness – just like drinking the real stuff.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Remember flipping baseball cards? Then you certainly are in awe of Kevin St. Onge, able to throw one 185 feet on this day in 1979.
WORD OF THE DAY
Vocables – [voʊkəbl̩] – noun
Definition: A syllable or sound without specific meaning, used together with or in place of actual words in a song.
Example: Yay! It is Friday! Time for some vocables…Na-na-na, la-la-la!
WIT OF THE DAY
“Look for the ridiculous in everything, and you will find it.”
-Jules Renard
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“The Radical Left Democrats: First they try to take away your guns. Then they try to take away your police!”
- Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Comfy
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
