The Jaffe Briefing - February 13, 2019
STATEWIDE - One must assume there are plenty of perks to servingin Congress. It's why so many candidates willingly bankrupt themselves, ignore their families and beg for money for a chance to run for office. But, with House members up for re-election every two years, and practically every person in the nation assuming you are a dribbling moron in office way too long, is it really, really worth it? The latest injustice? It's a Gannett story highlighting all the travel that members of the New Jersey delegation have taken. There's really no smoking gun here; nothing egregious was discovered. But the fact that everything you do - and don't do - gets scrutinized is just another reason to hang up your red suspenders. You may want to retire from this $174,000-a-year gig, which could have you sleeping on a cot in your office because you can't afford D.C. rents and showering in the Congressional gym. Take a job as a private citizen, where you can tell people to shove it without getting a call from Wolf Blitzer.
WEST ORANGE - No one from New Jersey has a clue where Mark Kelly stands on the issues, but he has our vote - if only he were running in this state. Let's assume most of Jersey is gung-ho for this West Orange guy, a NASA astronaut, a Navy combat veteran and a 2018 inductee into the New Jersey Hall of Fame. His next mission? Running for a U.S. Senate seat in Arizona in 2020. No experience? No problem! Kelly, and his wonder twin, Scott, have been honored all over, even with the "Kelly Elementary School" in West Orange. And Mark Kelly - dare we say "Senator Kelly" - rose to even further prominence in 2011 as the husband of Rep. Gabby Giffords, a national inspiration as a survivor of gun violence. Don't care if Kelly is Democrat or Republican, or green or purple. He's born and bred in Essex County, and could become a U.S. Senator, replacing the late John McCain, another class act.
ATLANTIC CITY - Donald J. Trump - a former self-described casino mogul - definitely sees himself as a gambler, and a tremendous high roller at that. It's all part of that swagger that endears him to his base. So why is he pushing a policy change that would effectively make online gaming illegal - and could cost New Jersey $350 million or more each year? That proposal certainly suits Las Vegas billionaire Sheldon Adelson, a major GOP and Trump contributor who is eager to pull the plug on anything that cuts into his brick-and-mortar casino business. (Note: You can't go online to order $244 in hotel room service.) But Trump's suggested ban could boomerang if it extends to Powerball, the overly-popular lottery that's played in 44 states, Washington, DC, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. NJ Spotlighttalks today about rolling the dice.
SPOTSWOOD - A brazen burglary suspect flipped the "Jersey salute" in her booking photo, making her a "contender for mug shot of the year," says WABC News. The defiant 32-year-old Old Bridge woman raised her middle digits, certainly getting some shock value after the image was posted on the department's Facebook page. Arrested in connection with a rash of car break-ins and burglaries on Janice Drive, the suspect had been free on probation after a 2018 burglary conviction. But, she's now in jail for defying that too. Next time, how about a simple, polite wave?
MIDDLESEX BOROUGH - If you're deranged enough to make homemade pipe bombs, at least have enough sense not to have cops answer an emergency call at your house. That's how a 59-year-old West 2nd Street man ended up in the Middlesex County jail facing a bunch of highly explosives charges. Prosecutor Andrew Carey tells TAPInto New Brunswick that two pipe bombs, a gunpowder supply and other volatile ingredients were found in the man's house, but did not pose a hazard. Neighboring homes were evacuated Saturday night as bomb-sniffing K-9s checked things out. Cops also believe this wacko set off a pipe bomb in 2017 near the Warrenville Road bridge.
IN THE MEDIA
NEWARK - TAPInto Newark posted its very first story two years ago in dramatic fashion when its editor happened to be at the Cathedral Basilica of the Sacred Heart and saw someone slug a Bishop in the face. Caught on video, TAPInto Newark instantly had 1.3 million hits internationally before anyone even knew it existed. Two years later, that scrappy little site has become a must-read in Newark, and is now celebrating two first-place awards. Rebecca Panico was honored in the Business and Financial Writing Portfolio category of the New Jersey Press Association, while Thomas E. Franklin took investigative reporting honors from the Center for Cooperative Media. This stellar work was done under the scrutinizing eyes of newspaper veteran Steve Liebman. Here's hoping other media start-ups are inspired and emboldened to compete.
JEFFERSONVILLE, Ind. - It looks like a girl can finally go to the prom,although she may be 64 years too late. Local school officials say they finally found her lost purse from 1955, when workers were demolishing part of her high school, The News and Tribune reports. The black stitched purse contained an invitation to the, let's assume, "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance, as well as a wallet, lipstick, photos and gum. The purse fell behind science classroom cabinets in the old Jeffersonville High School, revealing the janitor hadn't done any decent mopping since the Eisenhower Administration. The former student now lives in Florida. The purse is being mailed, and she'll soon learn the shelf life of Juicy Fruit.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1981 that The New York Times published its longest sentence - at 1,286 words. It was a direct quote of a high school student, let's assume filled with many "y'knows" and "uhs."
WORD OF THE DAY
Bardolater - [bar-DAWH-lə-tər] - noun
Definition: One who idolizes Shakespeare
Example: I'm writing a love note to my Valentine, with a message only bardolaters would appreciate.
WIT OF THE DAY
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"Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine."
- Whoopi Goldberg
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WEATHER IN A WORD
Snowless
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
