The Jaffe Briefing - November 20, 2019
WESTFIELD – A local realtor has mastered “selective omission,” sending out a bulk mailer that touts how the company was able to sell a beautiful, 1905 colonial at 657 Boulevard in just 17 days! The mailer failed to note a couple of things. For example, the homeowner took a $341,000 loss on the house. Oh, and the house just happens to be known for the “Watcher,” who has been terrifying the previous homeowner with haunting notes. It had gotten so bad that the homeowner hired private investigators, even a retired FBI agent, to find this sick soul. The nightmare has been chronicled in national news and even Netflix bought the rights to the story. Meanwhile, the realtor’s flier urges us to “Experience the Difference” with its 4.5% commissions for full-serving listings. Call us today!
DOVER – Sour grapes? Some think so, as the mayor who just lost re-election has cancelled the Christmas parade. Apparently, Mayor James Dodd, ousted from office after 13 years, has become the local Grinch. The Daily Record reports the mayor made the big announcement on a now-deleted Facebook post, citing a lack of manpower and blaming politics, saying the mayor-elect and her cronies have prompted employees who had previously organized the parade to quit from multiple town departments. Volunteers are now rushing in to save Christmas. Could it be another miracle?
FORKED RIVER – It was devastating for Denise Vaccaro when Superstorm Sandy destroyed her home in Forked River seven years ago. But that was just the start of her problems. What followed for her as for so many other New Jerseyans was a catalog of misery — trying to deal with flood insurance companies and the National Flood Insurance Program. NJ Spotlight reports Sen. Bob Menendez is introducing legislation in Washington this week to address that flawed program, which many fear isn’t ready anytime soon to deal with the aftermath of another superstorm. But it seems the odds are stacked against the Menendez bill. Apparently, lawmakers from elsewhere in the country view federal flood insurance as a taxpayer bailout for our wealthy, beachfront homeowners, rather than “regular” people. If that’s the case, why are so many Sandy victims still out of their homes?
TRENTON – Good help is hard to find – a lesson city officials got after a worker junked brand-new computer equipment delivered to City Hall's rear loading dock. The $18,000 blunder happened in March, but became public now as the city is suing its Ewing-based recycling contractor to recoup its loss. City officials first thought the eight boxes of computer equipment had been stolen. But, security video revealed recycling workers opening and peeking inside them, then throwing them into a compactor to get crushed. An outraged Councilman George Muschal told the Trentonian: “How f---ing stupid can they be? That's what I'm talking about, incompetent motherf---ers. It was brand-new sh-t.” (Yes, that’s a real quote in the newspaper.)
ASBURY PARK – Speaking of hard to find, Asbury Park is again on the hunt for a new city manager after Michael Capabianco, its top official since 2015, suddenly resigned. The city recently awarded
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
DUBAI – Unclear what you’ve been up to lately, but one local family here has spent the past 153 days creating the world’s largest handwritten Bible. Mom, dad and the two kiddies copied the entire holy book onto paper, building a 1,500-page tome. The mom says, “I would spend 12 to 15 hours every day meticulously writing out the Bible. My eyes would twitch and my hands would hurt, but in the process I found the Bible speaking to me, inspiring and guiding me.” The book is now on display a local church, perhaps becoming an inspiration for others without any form of word processor.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1997 that Eric Lindros of the Flyers tries to bite San Jose defenseman Marty McSorley, which seems a little ho-hum.
WORD OF THE DAY
WIT OF THE DAY
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
WEATHER IN A WORD
Shiny
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
