The Jaffe Briefing - November 18, 2019

BERGENFIELD – So much for offering a mechanical bull ride at the annual Family Fun Day. A local man is now suing the town for $5 million, claiming he was permanently injured when he mounted the thing at the town’s annual event in 2017. The Record reports he was “unreasonably and unexpectedly jolted and jerked,” according to court papers, which seems like the Wikipedia definition of riding a mechanical bull. In any case, the guy operating the bull – who works for the town – is being blamed for this, as the resident claims he “increased the speed and level of intensity of the ride before he had a chance to secure himself.” And, so, lawsuits are flying against the borough, as well as the company unfortunate enough to oversee the fair. Next year, perhaps all bull riders must wear bubble wrap and sign notarized waivers in triplicate.

BURLINGTON CITY – Well, you can’t blame officials for trying. The state implemented “Antwan’s Law” in September to cut down on pedestrian accidents on a dangerous section of Route 130, the Burlington County Times reports. Yet, somehow, the law has actually caused more accidents not only on the highway, but also on surrounding side streets. Now that Antwan’s Law comes with an all-day 25 mph speed limit, there are plenty of traffic jams. Impatient, annoyed drivers looking to sidestep Route 130 are now hitting the local roads, winding through side streets. Cops now have to add resources to patrol those neighborhoods because all crossing guards are assigned to Route 130 intersections. State transportation officials say it is too early to throw in the towel on this new law, adding the state was unaware of the new mess created to solve an old problem.

TRENTON – Getting a gig should be fun. As in: "I just landed this great gig!" Or, "Hey, are you going to the Springsteen gig?" Turns out, though, that many of those involved in the so-called gig economy are getting the short end of the stick, especially when it comes to benefits and employer contributions. The state is already going after Uber — the big dog in the gig economy — for $650 million in assessed disability and unemployment insurance payments, and interest, for what it considers to be Uber employees. Good luck with that, New Jersey. And now, NJ Spotlight reports, Senate President Steve Sweeney is pressuring gig-economy employers to prevent them from misclassifying workers as independent contractors in an effort to avoid pesky taxes.

ATLANTIC CITY – There’s no better time to crack down on street crimes than as scores of public officials and politicos arrive today for the League of Municipalities convention. Mayor Marty Small just ordered cops to beef-up foot patrols on Atlantic Avenue, from Indiana to South Carolina avenues, a downtown district he says looks like “the Night of the Living Dead” and “zombie city.” Up to 20 cops at a time are handing out tickets for everything from jaywalking to public boozing; they’re enforcing juvenile curfew laws, rousting the homeless and busting drug dealers. Small tells the Philadelphia Inquirer that zero-tolerance should return this shopping district “to the standard it once was when I was a child… lately it hasn’t been that way.” Wonder if the battle against public boozing, jaywalking and drunken revelry includes the partying public officials staggering around this week.

IN THE MEDIA

TRENTON – Believe it or not, some folks still read newspapers, preferring inky fingers to swiping smartphone screens for their news. They eagerly await that morning paper hitting their front porch. So, some long-time Trentonian subscribers got riled up when, for months, their newspapers kept vanishing off their doorsteps. They told the cops, who didn't really consider it the crime of the century. So, residents made warning posters, staked-out their own front doors and some installed doorbell cameras. Finally, they told the Trentonian, which ran a big exposé saying the thief is purloining papers to resell for pocket change. Here’s where it gets dicey: Police have not arrested the paper’s identified suspect, but the tabloid has already published his name, age and photo (Yikes!). It also lists his criminal record (Ouch!). The paper better be right, or the take-away might be: Don’t let libel stand in the way of tabloid news. 

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

STATEWIDE – There’s a chance the Presidential election next year will be meaningless because we will all be dead. That is according to a team of scientists and statisticians who have crunched some numbers and estimated that humanity has a 1 in 14,000 chance of being destroyed by a meteor, nuclear war or supervolcano eruptions in 2020. If that’s the case, expect a final tweet from the White House noting that climate change did not destroy the Earth. Losers.

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