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The Jaffe Briefing - November 4, 2019

EAST RUTHERFORD – There’s a game tonight in the Meadowlands between the Giants and their nemesis, the Dallas Cowboys. But the real drama isn’t on the field. Heck, it isn’t even in the stadium. The big drama – unfolding for years – is what will happen to rush-hour traffic tonight with (a.) a big Monday night game in town, (b.) typical rush-hour gridlock from Manhattan and (c.) the American Dream mall somewhat operational, with a limited number of attractions opening late last month. Of course, the traffic doomsayers will talk about, um, doom, while all the Meadowlands officials will ooze quiet confidence. After all, there was absolutely no problem with Super Bowl XLVIII in 2014, right?

 

NEW BRUNSWICK – It’s the official 150th celebration this week of college football, and it looks like Rutgers will be consumed with 150 rumors about the future of Greg Schiano. Will he come back? Could he really pull this team from the deepest bowels of the Big 10 basement? If Bill Belichick and Paul Robeson had a love child, what would it think? The very latest rumor (No. 56), according to NJ.com: An “imminent” meeting is set between the sought-after head coach and Rutgers officials, with several high-level donors salivating over the possibilities. Who knows? Maybe Schiano can triumphantly land RU in the “Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl” in Tampa, a pipe dream for weary fans who haven’t seen post-season play since 2014.

TUCKERTON – It’s a real head-scratcher. Head lice are apparently such a “perennial problem” among 280 grade schoolers here that the school board is now calling in specialists to nitpick. The Sandpaper says upset parents urged the board last week to fight this “epidemic” by enforcing its policy to send home lice-infested student. Instead of scalp-shaming children, the board will let Toms River-based Lice Lifters do school-wide head checks. And, it will teach parents how to rid kids of those little buggers. The district isn’t paying any scratch for the services, but the firm will use instruction sessions to sell its specialized products to moms and dads. 

LAYTON – If you’ve got no clue where to find this pea-size place, you’re not alone. Layton is little more than a post office, a steakhouse and an old hotel-tavern along rambling Route 560 in Sandyston Township. Yet MSN has just deemed this speck in Sussex County as New Jersey’s #1 “hidden gem.” The big reason is Buttermilk Falls, our state’s tallest waterfall. It spectacularly cascades down a 90-foot red shale wall in the Delaware Water Gap National Recreation Area. There’s a scenic walkway, miles of hiking trails through a hemlock forest and glacier-formed Crater Lake. Book your room now, as the hotel-tavern likely has four rooms and two beds.

PATERSON – The Silk City has a vacant and crumbling stadium that should be one of baseball’s crown jewels. Hinchcliffe Stadium once played host to some of the great players in Negro League baseball, among them native son Larry Doby. Now, with its glory days in the distant past, Hinchliffe — like the city where it resides — may be getting back in the game with a late-inning rally – a $76-million renovation project that could save the historic landmark. NJ Spotlight has the story and the pictures.

 

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – Please stop. That’s the official plea from library officials at Harvard Law School, sick and tired of law students feeding that annoying loose bird that has been flying around the building probably since the days of Louis Brandeis. The message from the executive director of the library: “I could never have imagined writing this request, but here we go: please don't feed the bird in the library. We've been assured that a day or two without food or water will not harm the bird. Once the bird tires itself out, we will be able to safely help the bird move outside.” But what is the fun in that?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Beaten-down Jets fan: I think we need this. Let’s remember this day in 1968, when Jim Turner kicked six field goals for the Jets, beating the Bills with his foot, 25-21.

 

WORD OF THE DAY

Tin-pot – [tin-PAHT] - adjective
 
Definition: Cheap or trivial of its kind: petty, small-time, two-bit
 
Example: The political candidate was eager to make baseless, tin-pot allegations, with only one day left before the election. (Polls open tomorrow from 6 a.m.-8 p.m.)

 

WIT OF THE DAY

“We are in a brave new world where not only do our children talk back to us, but so do our appliances.” 
 
― Mohammed Dastagir

TODAY'S TRUMPISM

“I don’t know, all I know is what’s on the internet.”
 
- Donald J. Trump

WEATHER IN A WORD

Autumnal

THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun