The Jaffe Briefing - October 31, 2019
STATEWIDE – Consider it a monster debate. With the frightening forecast, should towns cancel Trick or Treating today? You can bet school officials are wringing their hands, as the phones are lighting up with inquisitive parents wanting to know if the annual parade will be cancelled. Facebook is also all-a-flutter with comments, opinions and some threats if this annual ritual of house-to-house begging for food is cancelled. Hammonton Township, for one, has been downright decisive, announcing Monday on its website that Trick or Treating was moved one day earlier, to yesterday, as well as the school’s parade. Other towns have taken some decisive leadership, as well, like Mantua, Ocean City, North Plainfield etc., announcing postponements. How about your town? NJ.com has compiled a list, so don’t freak out.
MOUNT HOLLY – Halloween is a perfectly macabre wedding day for a ghoulishly fun-loving South Jersey couple. Guests are invited to see Teresa Deleski, 23, and Gabriel Peguero, 27, say their “I do’s” at Burlington County’s historic, and supposedly haunted, former prison. The imposing stone structure, now a museum, housed prisoners for 150 years until 1965. Visitors say a few convicts never really left and workers now report getting mysteriously locked inside its dungeon-like cells. County Clerk Joanne Schwartz, who is brave enough to perform today’s ceremony, tells FOX News it’s a “spooktacular” wedding venue… for those who dare to attend.
ALPINE – Wanna hear something really scary? Red wine spilled on a $30,000 Hermès handbag. Now some frightening lawyers are involved, and a borough woman is dragging an exclusive Alpine Country Club to court. An attorney for this club member tells the Record her client was dining with her husband in 2018 when a clumsy waiter allegedly damaged her pricey pink leather purse with wine. “He poured it all over her. Poured it all over her husband. And poured it all over a very expensive Hermès bag.” The woman tried, without success, for a year to settle with the club. Her lawyer claims the club’s insurance company was dismissive: “It’s sort of like a rich person problem. They couldn't comprehend a bag could (cost) that much … they kind of discriminated against her (for owning) that type of bag.” Somebody here, obviously, got terribly wronged.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Voting is a simple matter for most New Jerseyans. But what are your options if you go to your polling place and are told by election workers that you can’t vote? Turns out you can do a lot more than declare “Now hold on there, pal!” NJ Spotlight has produced an “Explainer” that goes through the possible reasons people might be denied at the polls. And it lists your options if you’re ever caught in that pickle. ICYMI, elections (mostly for the state Assembly’s 80 seats) take place next Tuesday, Nov. 5. But you knew that.
ATLANTIC CITY – It was a good night for New Jersey’s sportsbooks; it was a night of horrors for mattress salesman Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale. This was the guy who famously bet $11 million on the Astros winning the World Series, in the hopes of securing a $19 million profit. If the Astros won last night’s game, New Jersey sportsbooks would have been on the hook to pay Mattress Mack a total of $6 million, the Asbury Park Press reports. But, alas, the Nationals came through, winning Game 7 by a score of 7-2. Mattress Mack had brought along some nuns to Minute Maid Park for Game 6, hoping for some divine intervention. But, in the end, perhaps the heavens decreed that a high-flying, over-spending mattress salesman shouldn’t be handed $19 million, to the relief of New Jersey sportsbooks Unibet and William Hill.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
GATLINBURG, Tenn. – It remains unclear what to do with your Halloween pumpkin tomorrow, other than wait for the deer to gobble it up, along with your remaining landscaping. But the good people of Gatlinburg already have big plans for their Jack o lanterns, hurling them off a massive swaying bridge, watching them drop 150 feet and laughing hysterically as they smash into orange bits. The action all starts at 4 p.m. tomorrow at the Gatlinburg SkyBridge, which the locals proudly note is North America’s longest pedestrian suspension bridge. It costs just 5 bucks to chuck your pumpkin, with the proceeds going to the local food bank. Want some real drama? How about some pumpkin throwing off the Pulaski Skyway or Bayonne Bridge, with extra points awarded if you hit a car? Now, that would be some fine, post-Halloween entertainment, Jersey-style.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was on this day in 834 that the first All Hallows Eve was observed to honor the saints. Reportedly, no one dressed up like a Kardashian.
WORD OF THE DAY
WIT OF THE DAY
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
WEATHER IN A WORD
Ghoulish
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
