The Jaffe Briefing - June 26, 2019
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The Jaffe Briefing will not publish next week - we return Monday, Aug. 5
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NEWARK - With a summer vacation at the Jaffe Briefing starting tomorrow, the celebration has already begun with a heavy dosing of Pabst Blue Ribbon "Hard Coffee." That's right, NJ.com is reporting the existence of a new coffee, courtesy of the most tasteless beer ever manufactured with grain, hops and yeast. Somehow, PBR thinks that infusing the cheapest beer ever concocted with the glorious taste of Arabica and Robusta coffee beans is the key to marketing success. PBR claims its malt beverage is "deliciously unique," with "rich, creamy American milk," and an alcohol content of 5% APV. The brave writer from NJ.com,who actually drank the stuff, reported "these bad boys go down smooth and dangerously quickly." OK, so maybe it is worth a shot. But caution: a four-pack will set you back $10 or so, about the cost of a case or two of PBR.
NUTLEY - The biggest news in New Jersey is not happening in New Jersey. It is happening in San Francisco, where a group of seventh-grade Little Leaguers from Walker Middle School are having the summer of their lives. They are heading to the Intermediate World Series this weekend in San Francisco, after clinching the Eastern Region championship. The coach says these 13-year-old boys have a special chemistry in which they always find a way to win. Even Eli Manning is rooting for the little guys, sending them an eight-second video, wishing them well when the first pitch is thrown on Sunday.
Definition: Gradually, little by little
JEFFERSON - The "Globe of Death" is no more. The police department is reporting that this large globe - designed for stunt motorcyclists to ride inside - is part of a travelling circus. It met its demise on Route 15 on Wednesday when it fell off the back of a trailer. The Globe of Death, as well as some other stunt stuff, began to shift around 1:30 p.m. Wednesday, prompting the driver to lose control. The truck then began bouncing off guardrails on both sides of the road, knocking the Globe of Death onto the highway and shattering it into a bunch of pieces. No one was injured, thankfully, but now the Cycle Circus Live Show is desperate for a new act. Got one?
READINGTON - One of summer's biggest parties "launches" today at Solberg Airport as more than 100 brilliantly colored hot air balloons take to the sky for the 37th-annual QuickChek New Jersey Festival of Ballooning. The three-day event features hot air balloons making mass ascensions twice daily. There's also plenty of balloon rides, amusement rides, fireworks after dark, and live concerts capped off by "The Beach Boys" on Sunday afternoon. (Maybe they will play something from the "new" album.) With Solberg Airport so close to Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster - and in a federal no-fly zone whenever the President visits - balloon fest organizers hope the political hot air stays someplace else. We can all use a break.
PATERSON - To rebound from the latest police scandal, Mayor Andre Sayegh is taking steps to restore public confidence. He just welcomed 16 fresh-faced police recruits to replace retirees, downplaying those seven rogue cops recently arrested or convicted in the ongoing FBI corruption sting. Instead, Sayegh accentuated the positive, telling recruits: "You're the Super-16. You don't have capes, but you've got badges. I know you'll do your best to protect our city." To ensure that, the Paterson Press says Sayegh is trying to scrape together enough money for 150 body cameras; to hire an outside police consulting firm and appoint a citizen review panel to police the city's 385 police officers.
STATEWIDE - New Jersey's "Safe Haven Law" has saved more than 70 newborns since 2000. Now, Assembly Speaker Craig Coughlin and other lawmakers want Gov. Phil Murphy to sign a new measure that could save even more lives. It would require all high school students to get classroom lessons about protections the law offers. Coughlin tells NJ Advance Media it would ensure "we remain a leader in offering compassionate outlets for parents in crisis." Safe Haven laws allow parents - no questions asked - to abandon their newborns at hospitals, first aid squads, faith-based institutions, and police or fire stations for up to 30 days after their birth. Sad as that may seem, more education is needed.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was one year ago the world learned why lizards don't fly out of trees. The answer is courtesy of Harvard researchers who used high-powered leaf blowers to see how long 47 Caribbean critters could hold on to a wooden rod. Researchers began by blasting typical tropical-force winds at 102 mph; the lizards hung on. But then the researchers cranked those babies up to 108 mph. There's just so much wind these little guys can take; reptiles started flying all over the place. Researchers say, "Hey, calm the heck down," none of the lizards were harmed in this experiment, as they have big toe pads, long front limbs and short back limbs. Outside experts praised last year's study, especially because of the smart choice of leaf blowers, rather than lawn mowers.
WORD OF THE DAY
Inchmeal [INCH-meel] - adverb
Definition: Gradually, little by little
Example: I fight my bowling average inchmeal in a war I will never win.
WIT OF THE DAY
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"If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song."
- Jack Handey
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WEATHER IN A WORD
Gorgeous
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun