The Jaffe Briefing - July 9, 2019
READINGTON - So, where exactly is the friendliest place in New Jersey? (No, that's not a trick question.) First, let's assume where it's not: An NJ Transit platform, the helix entering the Lincoln Tunnel or any roadway entering its 14th month of construction. And where does that leave us? According to Reader's Digest, you need to head all the wayout to West Woodschurch Road, along the traffic-free streets of Readington Township. That's where you will see the Hunterdon County YMCA, where people reportedly say "hello," where people allegedly say "thank you" with zero sarcasm and truly - if you can believe it - want you to have a nice day. Reader's Digest apparently reviewed approximately 1,100 stories of kindness from across the United Statesto name 50 finalists, one from each state. There were actually 10 nominations from New Jersey, amazingly, and the "second family" at the local Y easily defeated other nominations. Like the waitress who actually doesn't spill coffee on your iPhone, or the mechanic who
actually doesn't gin up the bill by mumbling about rusty ball-bearings.
actually doesn't gin up the bill by mumbling about rusty ball-bearings.
TRENTON - When the Environmental Protection Agency formally eased the rule yesterday concerning emissions from coal-fired power plants, it wasn't just setting itself up for predictable court challenges from states and environmental organizations desperate to save the planet from reckless humans. The federal agency is underlining the Trump administration's determination to gut Obama-era attempts to combat climate change. NJ Spotlight reports that New Jersey is expected to be among those challenging the new Affordable Clean Energy rule. The state has 60 days, so it needs to get going. Get all fired up at NJ Spotlight.
STATEWIDE - Self-conscious middle schoolers will have to find some other way to bully their classmates, with Instagram finally getting serious about how its social platform is ruining the lives of typical seventh graders who may just happen to wear the "wrong" shirt to school. Instagram is unveiling a new artificial intelligence feature that will notify users when they write something particularly mean, automatically questioning if they are sure they really want to post it. Moreover, Instagram will be testing a new feature called "Restrict" that blocks kids from having to read the moronic posts of others. The best part? The morons don't even know they've been blocked. This is all a great start for the 1 billion monthly users of Instagram, many of whom have ensured tortuous pre-teen years because of the chronic stupidity of social media.
STATEWIDE - In what will quickly become a national topic of debate,the Washington Post is reporting how the FBI and ICE are using our driver's license photos for their super-secret purposes. It is apparently a facial-recognition goldmine, in which hundreds of millions of our photos are scanned without our knowledge or, of course, permission. This was all discovered by Georgetown University, via public record requests, showing how your local MVC office is now a big part of the national surveillance infrastructure, unbeknownst to your local Member of Congress. So not only can your photo license get you into a bar or on a flight. It can also get you deported or arrested.
IN THE MEDIA
ALL OVER - Many enter a career in journalism knowing they will never get rich. But no one ever envisioned a life of poverty. The Columbia Journalism Review outlines how bad it has gotten, reporting how the highest-paid reporter in the newsroom at the Carroll County Times in Westminster, MD. must use community food banks to feed his wife and young daughter. Meanwhile, due to chronic and consistent layoffs, these struggling scribes must also take on the work of their departed co-workers, with no additional compensation, of course. No one is asking for a company car; they just want to cover the bills.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SONKAJARVI, FINLAND - It is time, yet again, for the annual wife-carrying championships. And the winners are Vytatutas and Neringa Kirkliauskas, who expertly traversed the muddy course, marking the second consecutive victory for the Lithuanian couple in the international event, held for the 31st time in Sonkajarvi. It wasn't easy. Our good pal, Vytatutas, needed to run the 830-foot obstacle course, plow through mud and cross waist-high water and wooden barriers in one minute and 6.72 seconds, as Neringa shouted her usual encouragement. The prize? Neringa's weight in beer.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1850 that Millard Fillmore is sworn-in as U.S. President, upon the death of Zachary Taylor. Another great Presidential look-alike for Alec Baldwin.
WORD OF THE DAY
Bosky [BAH-skee] - adjective
Definition: Teeming with trees, shrubs or greenery
Example: I just found last Sunday's newspaper in the bosky side of my house.
WIT OF THE DAY
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"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."
- David Brinkley
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WEATHER IN A WORD
Sizzle
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
