The Jaffe Briefing - June 11, 2019
GARWOOD - A 29-year-old local woman attended the bachelorette party,but she shouldn't expect an invitation to the wedding, after trashing an Airbnb in Nashville last Thursday and causing $1,900 in damage, Tennessean.com reported. It seems she helped herself to two bottles of wine, or so, and then ripped through the house. She kicked in the front windows with her bare feet, as you do, and then threw around a lamp, chair and two sets of blinds, heaved furniture and flipped a coffee table. Cops found the angry drunk on the front steps of the trashed house with her right foot bleeding. Cops say, from a legal perspective, she "went psycho." The greater Nashville area will now be bracing for her return on July 12, when she has to explain herself to the judge.
TRENTON - "Tommy should be playing first base." "Why isn't Emily getting more game time?" Coaches deal with whining all the time from parents, who are quick to turn on them when they are not "recognizing" junior's enormous talents on the field. More than 15 New Jersey coaches now claim they were dumped because disgruntled parents complained to school officials. Some contend they were then blackballed by other school districts after being fired. The solution? Apparently more legislation. The Senate is now considering a bill that would guarantee coaches two- and three-year contracts, as well as extended due-process protection, NJ Spotlight reports. Let's see if other state lawmakers play ball.
TRENTON - Democrats, for the moment, are playing nice in the Statehouse.It had appeared that the Democratic Legislature was set to override Gov. Phil Murphy's conditional veto of the so-called "dark money" legislation. But rather than smack the governor with a very embarrassing override, cooler minds are back at the bargaining table. It looks like Murphy will ultimately sign the bill, as is, which would require independent political groups to finally disclose their donors. "The exact same bill, word for word. Not one word has changed here," said Senate President Steve Sweeney. The governor originally thought it was unconstitutional, but now, hey, whatever.
GLASSBORO - How many axe-throwing places can New Jersey sustain? Apparently one more, with word that "Primitive Axe" has opened at the Gloucester Premium Outlets. So, buy a pair of last year's sneakers at Converse, pick up a pair of last year's pants at Calvin Klein, and then kick back with some good ol' axe throwing at the outlets. There's plenty of competition these days in New Jersey, with "Bury the Hatchet," "Chopper's Hatchet House," "Stumpy's Hatchet House" and likely many others, all of which can easily convert old, unrented stores into these fun centers. The big question: When will the hatchet jump the shark?
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
LONDON - If you have been looking for the perfect gift for Schroeder, it may be pricy, but certainly worth it. Next Tuesday, a London auctioneer will be putting a lock of Ludwig van Beethoven's hair on the auction block - nearly 200 years after the German composer gave it to a friend. It is expected the hair will be sold between $15,000 and $19,000. The story is that Beethoven gave the lock to a guy named Anton Halm, as a gift for Halm's wife. An earlier lock that Halm procured was actually from a goat. The auction house vows the hair headed to auction is "indisputably human," and comes in a lovely 19th-century glazed oval frame at no additional cost.
IN THE MEDIA
And, some more of our favorite newspaper headlines of all time - courtesy of
Columbia Journalism Review:
Threat Disrupts Plans to Meet about Threats
Athens Banner-Herald
Man Accused of Killing Attorney Gets New Lawyer
Albuquerque Sun
Cop Makes Arrest in Bathroom After Smelling Crack
Associated Press
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Atlanta Journal ConstitutionTHIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day, in 1987, that one of the most famous Cold War speeches was delivered in West Berlin: "Secretary General Gorbachev, if you seek peace-if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe-if you seek liberalization: come here, to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall."
WORD OF THE DAY
Calaboose - [KAL-ə-boos] - noun
Definition: A local jail
Example: Tough night, last night. Ended up with Beethoven in a calaboose.
WIT OF THE DAY
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"Knowing Is Not Enough; We Must Apply. Wishing Is Not Enough; We Must Do."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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WEATHER IN A WORD
Drying
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
