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The Jaffe Briefing - June 6, 2019

WEST NEW YORK - One would assume a conservative Christian legal group would have no problem seeing a picture of Santa Claus at a high school's holiday concert. But the fact that Memorial High School had posters wishing students a blessed Ramadan deserves immediate, sweeping action. Apparently, well wishes for Muslim children are clearly a danger to public education and school officials must remove them, or face a lawsuit. (Sigh.) NJ 101.5 reports that a teacher contacted the Freedom of Conscience Defense Fund with concerns about two posters that wished a Happy Ramadan, containing the words "May Allah continue to shower your love and wisdom." The teacher was also aghast that Muslim students were randomly entering classrooms, teaching others about their faith. The posters were removed May 31, thus apparently scrubbing the school of any shred of Ramadan, inclusivity or sharing of culture.  Thankfully, the next step for many of these kids is college, where they can finally learn religious tolerance.

TRENTON - Who knew there's a low-key Booker in New Jersey, a Booker who the evidence suggests doesn't go to DEFCON 1 with his public-policy passions? We're talking about Cary Booker, sibling to our junior senator. Clearly, though, the two share an interest in public education. NJ Spotlight reports that Cary Booker has been appointed assistant commissioner in a division of the state Department of Education. He was not available for comment after the news was made public. No marching band. No social media. Not even one selfie.  NJ Spotlight reports on the downplayed news.

 
 
STATEWIDE - When future sociologists look back and see how we treat one another, an interesting fact may surface: All four of the trash incinerators in New Jersey sit in low-income towns and communities of color. And New Jersey is not alone. A study from The New School in NYC reports that 80% of incinerators in the U.S. operate in "environmental justice" communities. New Jersey has its incinerators in Rahway, Newark, Camden and Westville. Now, we can't expect an incinerator to be sited in, say, Short Hills, with all the smoke clouding the BMWs. But should these massive operations, generating plenty of rumbling, smelly garbage trucks, exist in areas already plagued with air pollution? There is hope that special funding is earmarked to host towns to drastically ease the impact on residents who have no choice but to live near these things.

TRENTON - Yeah, New Jersey is an odd place. We don't pump our own gas, and it's tough to find a supermarket that is allowed to sell beer and wine. And New Jerseyans attending funerals in other states may be surprised to see a platter of sandwiches or maybe even a keg of beer for the mourners and guests. That's because our state is the only one in the union that still bans food and drink at funerals, citing health concerns. That may soon be changing, as the Assembly Regulated Professions Committee will today take up the request of funeral directors, who have been working for years to get the ban lifted and may finally be allowed to offer guests more than a breath mint.
 
SOUTH BRUNSWICK - He's called the "Donut Desperado" and he may be coming to a Dunkin Donuts near you. Cops say the hooded man jumped the counter, danced around a bit, stole a 99-cent donut from a Dunkin Donuts on George's Road and then live streamed his grand theft on June 1. Township police say this is the second time the guy has done the bold deed, and somehow this obvious prank is sapping up crime-fighting resources to bring him to justice. If you may know this clown, (and we doubt you do), call the cops at 732-329-4646.
 

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

SAN DIEGO - Want a roller coaster in your backyard? Absolutely free! You just need to convince a local engineer that you are a worthy owner. The engineer built the amusement ride in his backyard for his small kids - and some adults with strong stomachs. But now his family is moving and let's just assume the new buyers don't exactly want this hulking mass as the view out the kitchen window. KSWB-TV reports the engineer is currently accepting applications at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You will just need a little bit of creativity to get his attention, and likely a strong willingness to dismantle it and throw it in a fleet of U-Hauls.
 
 
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
 
On this day, 75 years ago, the world was saved. The free world extends generations of gratitude for such sacrifice and service.
 
 
WORD OF THE DAY
 
Shot-clog - [SHAHT-klahg] - noun
 
Definition: A boring person, tolerated only because s/he pays the bill
 
Example: I was going to pay back Mel for the meal, but after listening to him ramble over the entire meal about this and that, I decided it would be an unfair challenge to his reputation as a shot-clog.
 
WIT OF THE DAY
 
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."

- Steven Wright
 
 
WEATHER IN A WORD
 
Steamy
 
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun