The Jaffe Briefing - May 28, 2019
STATEWIDE - First, the local diner started printing out fancy menus with minimal typos. Then, it got a liquor license and started offering mimosas with our morning eggs. And now: Diner Theater? Yes, Jersey diners continue to get fancier and fancier, as the price of the pancake special just isn't that special any more. And now, the ARTPride New Jersey Foundation is rolling out theater performances in diners from Bordentown to Summit to Hammonton, where the actors dodge plates of corned beef hash to entertain patrons, NJ 101.5 reports. Unclear if all this excitement is creating "Happy Waitresses," but be prepared for a pop-up theater performance coming to a diner near you. All good, just keep that coffee coming.
HACKETTSTOWN - One of those basic rules in New Jersey: When you are picking up a friend who just got busted for DWI, try to stay off the sauce. Local cops are shaking their heads at a 24-year-old Washington Township man, who swung by the Hackettstown P.D. to pick up a 21-year-old friend busted early Friday during a traffic stop. When the man arrived at the station, pulled himself together as best as possible, and attempted to have a conversation at the police desk, the cops quickly smelled booze. So he was also thrown in the drunk tank, until a third driver - who appeared sober - came by to sign them both out.
TRENTON - Let's hope five is the lucky number for Gov. Phil Murphy and the Democratic leaders in the Legislature as the post-Memorial Day budget season officially commences. NJ Spotlight reports on the "five sticky" issues they're facing with just a month to go before the fiscal '20 budget must be enacted. It's a formidable list debated each and every budget season: a millionaire's tax, property-tax relief, the surplus/rainy day fund, benefits reform and what the heck to do with NJ Transit. Fingers crossed that the triumvirate (Murphy, Senate President Steve Sweeney and Assembly Speaker Craig Coughlin) can find themselves in the same room, act as one, and magically come up with a plan that makes us all as happy as a dog with two tails. Read about the fearsome five in today's NJ Spotlight.
TRENTON - How about you be the "Director of Constituent Engagement" and our other buddy could be the, um, "Executive Manager of Educational Initiatives"? Perhaps that dialogue actually happened at the beleaguered School Development Authority, as NorthJersey.com reports the agency hired politically-connected pals, and then figured out their job descriptions and titles after the fact. NorthJersey.com calls that "reverse engineering," as the age-old practice is to have a job description first and then find the most talented, qualified people to handle the work. It seems a little more than half of the people hired did not have job descriptions for their titles when they were hired. And of the 20 job descriptions, all but four of them were written after that pesky NorthJersey.com - and its "USA Today Network New Jersey" - requested them in February.
STATEWIDE - Fresh-faced high school graduates are getting a crash course on life - courtesy of Uncle Sam. All those glorious and well-earned scholarships could be taxed as high as 37 percent under the new federal tax law if used for room and board. NJ.com explains the old plan taxed the money at the same rate as a student's parents. But now the scholarships are taxed like trusts and estates, which are much, much higher, especially for students from low-income families. Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ), who vows to help fix this, says there is "absolutely no reason college students should have to pay an exorbitant amount of taxes on their financial aid packages while multinational corporations and their CEOs receive massive windfalls." Welcome to TrumpWorld, kids.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
TORRINGTON, Conn. - Sure, a fugitive can negotiate the conditions of his surrender. But an ego-driven suspect in Connecticut has taken it to the next step, forcing both the media and the cops to do his bidding. In what can be best described as embarrassing, the Torrington cops are begging people to "Like" the Wanted poster of a suspect that has been posted on Facebook. The 29-year-old fugitive - with seven arrest warrants - was demanding 20,000 Likes to turn himself in, but those terrific cops in Torrington were able to negotiate him down to 15,000 Likes. "It will be difficult but is doable," one police lieutenant posted. The AP reached the suspect - via Facebook, of course - who explained: "I wanted to give them a little incentive for all the hard work they put in to catch me." Yes, a little incentive. And plenty of manipulation.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2017 that a local hospital clawed its way into the 20th century, ditching a requirement that women wear pantyhose. Summa Health system notified its 8,000 employees about all these fancy changes, like letting women wear open-toe shoes and even Capri pants, as long as they are deemed "professional." It gets better, reports the Akron Daily Journal. Women can also get themselves some nice small-studded nose piercings and no longer need to cover over those "non-offensive" tattoos. Yet the hospital isn't going crazy here. Women must still have "natural" hair, with an issued list of corporate-approved colors. Miss Manners would be pleased.
WORD OF THE DAY
Skosh - [SKOHSH] - noun
Definition: A small amount; a smidge
Example: My Memorial Day weekend was a skosh better than yours.
WIT OF THE DAY
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"Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind."
- Bruce Lee
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WEATHER IN A WORD
Changing
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
