The Jaffe Briefing - April 10, 2019
STATEWIDE - Once President Trump deemed that New Jerseyans should be capped on tax deductions for our alarmingly-high property taxes, the concern was that our wealthy would flee the state, depleting our tax base. But NJ.com reports that scenario has not played out. For some reason, it seems our rich are sticking around, at least for the moment, rather than fleeing to one of those super-cheap states where you can buy a mansion, a moat and an army of guards for the same price as a Short Hills split-level. Moody's Investors Service says the outmigration from New Jersey follows typical job and demographic shifts, not the economic whims of our President. So, our high-earners appear to be here, with the high taxes and all, showing they are as crazy as the rest of us.
NEW BRUNSWICK - If you haven't been following university news, a major strike is looming for Rutgers faculty - unless a last-minute contract agreement can be magically reached in the next few days. Professors are vowing to walk out, tweed and all. Unions representing 4,800 faculty and graduate workers are threatening the first strike in the school's 253-year history, as union leaders have been engaged in a fierce tug of war with the Rutgers administration since March 2018. If this happens, it would be the first strike of tenure-track faculty at a Big 10 university. It all boils down to more money, more pay equity, more female faculty, more diversity, etc. Get educated on the issue at NJ Spotlight.
NEW BRUNSWICK - They don't have the pedigree of, say, President Obama or influential writer Toni Morrison, or Bill Nye "the science guy." But it's just great fun that Rutgers is hosting football stars Jason and Devin McCourty as commencement speakers on May 19 at Rutgers Stadium, TAPInto New Brunswickreports. While Obama, Morrison and Nye have recently graced the commencement stage to critique the challenges of higher education, you can bet the McCourty brothers will be talking about their great bowl-bound years at RU and, oh, the fact they both happened to be on the winning Super Bowl team in January. So, while many, if not all, believe these twins aren't the dictionary definition of academic titans, they certainly have the RU pedigree and are obvious role models. Just remember graduates: You, too, (and your twin) can some day win the world championship in whatever it is that you choose to do.
NEWARK - Just when you think that flying coach can't get any more glamorous, meet this woman. She gets on this Newark-bound flight, clearly drunk, uncultured and angry. A flight attendant tells her to turn off her phone for take-off. So, rather than complying, she starts to yell. And then she starts screaming at other passengers, and then, amidst a torrent of boos and catcalls, she turns around in the aisle and starts twerking, jigging her butt. And then she tries to provoke a fist-fight, as other passengers tell her to get off the damn flight, courtesy of super low-budget Spirit Airlines. "Come fight me then, b****," the woman taunts. "Do something... do something... do something." Wow. Whatever happened to flights with martinis, soft music, and slippers? Catch the raging mess here, as passengers on this Orlando-to-Newark flight broadcast the March 27 incident all over social media.
HIGHLAND PARK - Media is demanding to know: Where is Chester the Peacock? Be on the look-out, as Chester flew the coop on Sunday at Johnson Park, which straddles Piscataway and Highland Park, NJ 101.5 reports. Cops in Highland Park, thrilled by the chase, were tracking the peacock on Cedar Lane, before it gave flight, soaring perhaps 10 or even 15 feet in the air, before taking a break and walking around the Treetop Apartments, and then flying away again. Police commented on Facebook: "Unfortunately we can't fly. So Chester got the better of us!" If you happen to see this at-large peacock - which police have now nicknamed "Chester the Terrible" - you are obligated to immediately phone the Highland Park Police Department. You are needed in this time of crisis.
CLIFTON - A sexy Easter display became a battle of the bunnies after a disgruntled woman used garden shears to tear down five scantily clad mannequins, wearing bunny ears, in the front yard of Grove Street dental office. The upset neighbor's assault came Tuesday as a WPIX-TV news crew was filming. Dentist Wayne Gangi said he plans to get a restraining order against the neighbor and to replace the mannequins after he gets them some new Easter baskets, fishnet stockings and lingerie.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CHICAGO - It's only April, and there's a lot more baseball to be played. Luckily, there's a solid pitcher waiting on the wings when those impending injuries occur. A local nun took the mound at a White Sox game last August, bounced the baseball off her bicep, and threw an absolutely gorgeous strike. From there it appears Sister Mary Jo Sobieck's baseball career has taken off, NPR reports. She is appearing on a baseball card that will be sold in Topps trading card packs as a part of their Allen and Ginter series, featuring baseball players alongside celebrities and famous figures from other sports. The card will be released July 17, likely to coincide with the nun joining the depleted Mets bullpen for the summer run.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was one year ago today that a woman applying for a job at a New Hampshire county jail ended up in the lock-up, after a quick background check showed she was wanted for theft in Maine. The suspect thought it made perfect sense to show up at the Hillsborough County Department of Corrections, with a resume, a firm handshake and a smile. And, no, she did not get the job, but she was offered upwards of nine cents a day in the prison laundry.
WORD OF THE DAY
Garçonnière - [gar-sən-YAIR] - noun
Definition: A bachelor's apartment.
Example: Don't stop by my garçonnière; something seems to be growing in there.
WIT OF THE DAY
"The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school."
- Milton Berle
WEATHER IN A WORD
Pleasant
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
