The Jaffe Briefing - February 15, 2019
TRENTON - In December, that blender seemed the perfect holiday gift. But it's mid-February, and it still hasn't arrived on your doorstep. Hmmm. You may be a victim of "porch piracy," and Assemblyman Rob Karabinchak wants to be your hero. The Edison-based lawmaker is proposing stiffer penalties for the culprits who grabbed that five-speed blender off your porch, as well as other thieves who are plaguing e-commerce statewide. Rather than porch pirates getting slapped with misdemeanors, he wants more serious charges. Stolen goods worth $200 or less would be fourth-degree crimes; thieved items worth more would be a third-degree crime. That could mean years in the slammer and fines, as Karabinchak notes, "Taking these packages off a person's property is just as invasive as breaking into their homes to steal them."
TRENTON - If state Sen. Linda Greenstein has her way, New Jersey will be the first state in the country to ban "baby walkers." They are the wheeled devices that can hold infants in a walking position and enable them to move around - actually, to walk before they can stand. The mini stock cars - sorry, baby walkers - land five kiddies in the hospital every day, and pediatricians clearly dislike them. Apart from the fact that they can turn your kid into a human bowling ball (nine out of 10 accidents involve falls down a stairs) the walkers can limit muscle development and slow a baby's ability to crawl, stand and walk (on his or her very own legs). Greenstein, the lone sponsor of a bill, pushed it through a Senate committee yesterday. It doesn't make her tops with merchant representatives who point to safety improvements and accident reductions over the years. Nevertheless, Canada banned their sale a decade ago. What are the chances New Jersey follows the Canucks' lead? Keep up to speed with NJ Spotlight.
PISCATAWAY - Only scarlet-bleeding Rutgers sports fans will understand; the rest of you can read on. The Rutgers basketball game tomorrow against nationally-ranked Iowa is sold out. Your heard right. Sold Out. And it is the fourth sell-out this season; following games against No. 8 Michigan State on Nov. 30, Maryland on Jan. 5, and No. 7 Michigan on Feb. 5. Did we mention Sold Out? It just shows, once again, that Rutgers can have a formidable fan base, if it can string together a couple of wins, show some heart and beat up a Big 10 team once in awhile. This year's basketball team - with five Big 10 wins and counting - is revealing just some of the untapped energy from thirsty, long-suffering fans in the most competitive basketball conference in the country. (p.s. Sold Out.)
NEWARK - As if the evening rush hour commute on NJ Transit doesn't suck enough, along comes a really crabby commuter who thinks her Honda-size handbag deserves a seat more than you. Asked to move it, the woman called one passenger "disgusting ... I don't want your bed bugs, I don't want your smell." She tells another: "You're not disabled, you're not pregnant." The unruly woman then ignored a conductor and transit cops trying to coax her off the Northeast Corridor line on Wednesday. She ended up leaving on her own, vanishing into the crowd at Newark Penn Station. Her rant, caught on video, got rightfully slammed on social media. The calm conductor and patient police earn "kudos" for dealing professionally with a nut who certainly didn't deserve the courtesy.
VINELAND - Carton after carton of school supplies kept arriving at Jacquelyn Campbell's home. More than 150 boxes full of Chromebooks, iPads, crayons, markers and children's books were delivered this week to Campbell, a special education teacher at Thomas W. Wallace Junior Middle School. (Luckily, no porch pirates.) The windfall is thanks to Hollywood actress Kristen Bell who named Campbell her "featured teacher" on Instagram. Bell highlights one teacher each week, posting their Amazon wish lists. Campbell tells NBC News she's "thrilled" and "did not expect such an amazing response," with so much generosity that her school district had to send a truck to her home to get the bounty to school.
STATEWIDE - High school football players will no longer be urged to "take a hit," as state officials are severely limiting tackling during practice and preseason. No more "rub some dirt in it" or "walk it off," or "grow a satchel," after a particularly hard hit in practice. The New Jersey Interscholastic Athletic Association has imposed this dramatic reduction, reducing in-season, player-on-player contact to 15 minutes per week and six hours total during the preseason, including scrimmages. That makes New Jersey one of the most restrictive states in the country - and dare we say "safest" - in terms of high school football practice. Yet - as a side note - there are currently no safety restrictions for learning to play the tuba.
STATEWIDE - Did you have an awful Valentine's Day? NJ 101.5 is here to help, posting the 2019 self-help guide for getting a cheap porce in New Jerseywithout the need for fee-sucking porce lawyers. The free advice is courtesy of the non-profit Legal Services of New Jersey, which offers a step-by-step way in which couples could navigate the system themselves and - for just $25 - provide all the forms required. But if couples can work cooperatively to figure this out - from preparing, filing and serving a porce complaint to getting a default judgment - maybe they have a future together, after all.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
STUDIO CITY, CA - Here's the story of that groovy "Brady Bunch" house.HGTV bought it for $3.5 million so "The Property Brothers" could remodel its interior to magically appear like that campy 1970's sitcom. (Only its exterior appeared in the show's 117 episodes.) All six Brady kids - now alarmingly in their 50s and 60s - joined the crew for "A Very Brady Renovation." And, if you've got far-out Brady-era stuff cluttering your pad, you can join the fun. HGTV is on a scavenger hunt for an avocado green refrigerator, a wall oven, outta-sight lava lamps, plaid Herculon couches and other Nixon-era furnishings that would make a Brady home proud. Once the shows airs this fall, Hollywood Reporter says the network will give away the house (with actual bathrooms) to some lucky, "very Brady" fan. But, hey hire your own damn Alice.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2014 that editors of Mad Magazine zoned in on Bridgegate, with the introduction of a new flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream called "Career Crumble."
WORD OF THE DAY
Prescind - [prə-SIND] - verb
Definition: To withdraw one's attention
Example: I'll prescind from all the love-absorbed people, after yesterday's celebration.
WIT OF THE DAY
"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day." - Robert Frost
WEATHER IN A WORD
Warm
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing exclusive by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
