The Jaffe Briefing - October 3, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
ATLANTIC CITY - It could very well be the worst motel in New Jersey -and that's saying something. After a three-foot-long alligator was found in the pool, followed by a huge drug and weapon bust this summer, the now-vacant Bayview Inn & Suites has apparently been set on fire. NJ.com reports that firefighters descended on this dictionary definition of a "fleabag" early yesterday, with flames shooting out a second-floor room. Firefighters smashed through the roof to get to the fire. Homeless are suspected, as the motel remained in the process of being boarded up, after sustaining damage five years ago in Superstorm Sandy. Can't wait to read the reviews on Yelp.
TOMS RIVER - There's been plenty of talk about renovating the 35-year-old Ocean County jail. Now that work is being expedited after an inmate flushed his jumpsuit down the toilet, bursting pipes and damaging two floors of the building, NJ 101.5 reports. Jail administrators are hoping for those nifty, suicide-resistant prison toilets that regulate how many times they can be flushed. In the interim, the county will add some criminal charges to the inmate's rap sheet and is considering a lawsuit, although unclear how many assets a guy who flushes his prison jumpsuit may have. Upgrades to the jail will cost an estimated $2 million."You've got to make a statement here. You can't have this," says Ocean County Administrator Carl W. Block.
ON THE AIRWAVES - It is October, and that means your television has been hijacked. Political attack ads, funded by campaigns, special interests, out-of-state groups, super PACS, labor unions and many others are dropping millions of dollars to consume your airwaves, hoping to sway the "undecided." Here's a quick summary, according to the various campaigns: Kim Guadagno is a clueless Chris Christie clone; Phil Murphy is a billionaire whose only reason for breathing is to raise your taxes. There ya go. Now feel free to DVR through the commercials.
PRINCETON - It's called "TigerPay," which translates to: "Pay early and often for your education at Princeton University." The new online system charged 136 families twice for tuition, with automatic withdrawals from parents' bank accounts, the Daily Princetonian reports. The error was quickly noted when families called to politely inquire as to why tens of thousands of dollars have suddenly vanished. A red-faced Princeton - which, of course, only deals in excellence - sheepishly sent out reimbursements and covered overdraft fees. This, of course, will not happen again.
NEWARK - With as much news value as the sky is blue, J.D. Power and Associates reports what we all know: Newark Liberty International Airport is one of the worst places to fly in the entire country. Newark Liberty came in dead last among travelers out of the nation's mega airports. Seeking refuge elsewhere? Don't bother. LaGuardia, Kennedy and Philadelphia International were at the bottom, too. Rankings were in airport accessibility, check in/baggage check, security check, food, beverage and retail, terminal facilities, and baggage claim. "This is simply unacceptable," Port Authority Executive Director Richard Cotton tells NJ.com. Um, ok. What now?
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
TUCUMAN, ARGENTINA - Kids are always told to keep toys out of their mouths; here is why. An eight-year-old boy swallowed a pet toy and couldn't stop squeaking when he tried to talk. The whistle was stuck between his larynx and pharynx. Doctors asked what happened. "Squeak," the boy responded. Doctors then said they were going to use some local anesthesia to remove the squeaker. "Squeak," the boy replied. You'll be out of here soon, doctors assured. "Squeak!" the boy exclaimed. The original video now has nine million views.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2014 that General Motors announced its 71st recall of the year, affecting more than 500,000 cars for "defective or loose parts." Ridiculous. Wouldn't it be great if these companies paid you to waste productive hours continually bringing your vehicle back to the dealer?
WORD OF THE DAY
Salubrious: [suh-LOO-bree-us] - adjective
Definition: Healthy; favorable to or promoting well-being
Example: Removing a squeaking toy from your throat can have an instant salubrious effect.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Autumnal