The Jaffe Briefing - September 26, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
NEWARK - President Cory Booker? Hard to imagine, as it seems like just yesterday he was a young, scrappy councilman in Newark. But, it is never too early, apparently, to talk about 2020 and which Democrat has the best chance of trumping our President. A Suffolk University poll says 44 percent of the state's Democrats think Booker should take a whack at running for President, compared with 27 percent who like him remaining in the Senate. Booker is already a mainstay on the national fundraising circuit, more than happy to do some star-studded favors for colleagues now, for some payback to be determined later. A fun fact: If Booker ran, he would be around the same age, and have the same experience, as another Presidential candidate from 2008: Barack Obama.
MONTCLAIR - If you want to plunk money down on a book, shake your head in disappointment and share a sad moment in mutual pity, then c'mon down to Montclair! Today, you will be among 1,000 people or so at Watchung Plaza to meet and greet with Hillary Clinton. You can pick up your very own signed copy of the $30 tell-all book, titled What Happened. Clinton will be there at 6 p.m. for a sell-out event in this super liberal hamlet, guaranteeing an absolute mess of rush hour traffic for the three-hour tour.
MORRIS TOWNSHIP - With all this wacky weather, it's absolutely no surprise to learn about the 1.7 magnitude earthquake that hit Morris Township around 6:35 p.m. last night. Luckily, no damage or power outages. Next up: a series of volcanoes erupting in Linden, spreading lava onto the New Jersey Turnpike for the morning rush hour. Luckily, floods rush in from the Meadowlands to cool the molten rock.
EAST RUTHERFORD - When you play for a winless football team, there's no place for end zone antics. Of course, Odell Beckham, Jr. couldn't care less what we - or any other Giants fans - think. His latest idiotic move came in Sunday's soul-crushing loss to the Eagles. The guy catches the ball, which is good. But then he goes on all fours, lifts his leg like a dog and pretends to pee. Dumb. And now his even dumber explanation: "I'm a dog so I acted like a dog. I don't know if the rulebook said you can't hike your leg. He said I peed on somebody, so I was trying to find the imaginary ghost that I peed on. But I didn't see him." Huh? Later, Beckham alluded it was his response to Trump. Whatever. Win a football game, already.
TOMS RIVER - And, now, an update from a classy athlete. Yankees slugger and Toms River native Todd Frazier has been in steady contact with the family of the toddler who was injured by his foul ball last week. She is steadily recovering in the hospital and the word is that Frazier hopes to visit her, NJ.comreports. "The father has been very gracious enough to call me and text me back. And we've been having a really good relationship so far. I've still been praying for her every day and hoping for the best," Frazier said. Note this, Odell.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
BERLIN - Perhaps Germany should not hold elections during Oktoberfest, when half the country seems to be in the bag. Authorities had to deal with a drunken voter who attempted to do his civic duty, but couldn't really get it together. The man weaved his way to the voter booth, but couldn't come up with any real ID. He created a loud scene, of course, prompting the cops to arrive. They quickly discovered an outstanding warrant for seven months of prison and hauled him out of the polling place, reports Potsdamer Neueste Nachrichten. This morning, the 46-year-old man is sitting in prison, likely vowing to never vote again.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1990 when the Motion Picture Association of America solved a critical issue: Figuring out what to do with really raunchy stuff that is not so raunchy to be deemed all-out porn. So, welcome to the "NC-17" rating! The Hollywood Reporter explains the critical distinctions here.
WORD OF THE DAY
Broadside - [BRAWD-syde] - noun
Definition: A sheet of paper printed and folded, such as for mailing
Example: Expect plenty of broadsides in your mailbox in the upcoming weeks, as New Jersey politicians churn up the mail for their fall political campaigns.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Speedos