The Jaffe Briefing - September 6, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
CLIFTON - A Clifton florist finds his naked wife in bed with her boss,and is now looking at 15 years in jail for snooping. Last April, the man used his "Find My iPhone" app to track down a lost iPad, which, oddly, was heading up to Rockland County. He jumped in the car, followed it up, snuck into a house and shot two quick videos in the bedroom of his wife, uh, bucking for a promotion. The cuckolded husband is now set to appear in court on Sept. 20 for felony burglary and unlawful surveillance. "It's like I'm being punished twice," he told the NY Post.
STATEWIDE - If you've noticed some shuttered restaurants lately along your favorite New Jersey highway, yep, you are seeing a trend. NJ.com reports the "casual dining" industry has taken a huge hit, with stalwarts like IHOP, Applebee's and Ruby Tuesday steadily disappearing from our congested landscape. In fact, NJ.com notes that Joe's Crab Shack, Outback Steakhouse, Carrabba's Italian Grill and Bonefish Grill are steadily shutting down. Why? Apparently, we all prefer "fast casual" eateries, like Panera Bread, as opposed to "casual dining." Or perhaps we all prefer going to unique restaurants that aren't part of a corporate-owned, mega-chain. There's too many great gems in New Jersey. Why waste your money at some ubiquitous joint that offers the same menu in, gasp, Nebraska?
NEWARK - In what is the biggest "Back to School" story in New Jersey, Newark is eagerly awaiting word that it will regain control of its school district, after more than 20 years of state oversight. TAPInto Newark, which has been writing extensively about public education in the state's largest city, says the district has wrestled back control from the state in three of five areas, and expects full control later this fall. Last year's graduating class had students headed to Harvard and Princeton; eager to learn what created this long-sought, about-face.
STATEWIDE - And, in other "Back to School" news, NJ.com is out with its rankings of the smallest school districts in the state. As you ponder why you pay for a schools superintendent and a school business administrator for your teeny-tiny town, here is the list of the Top 5 school districts: Milford Borough (81 kids), Stone Harbor (75 kids), Beach Haven (70 kids), Greenwich Township (62 kids) and the number one district: Avalon, now featuring 43 students.
NEW BRUNSWICK - If you need a cup of coffee this week, for God's sake, go to Hidden Grounds on Easton Avenue. TAPInto New Brunswick says the local coffee joint, with two locations on the strip, vows to donate 100 percent of its profits over the next week to victims of Hurricane Harvey. This tall order also includes a GoFundMe page so customers can make direct contributions. Shop owners say they will post all receipts, detailing where the money went; TAPInto New Brunswick will be following.
STATEWIDE - And, in other "Back to School" news,
NJ.com is out with its rankings of the smallest school districts in the state. As you ponder why you pay for a schools superintendent and a school business administrator for your teeny-tiny town, here is the list of the Top 5 school districts: Milford Borough (81 kids), Stone Harbor (75 kids), Beach Haven (70 kids), Greenwich Township (62 kids) and the number one district: Avalon, now featuring 43 students.NEW BRUNSWICK - If you need a cup of coffee this week, for God's sake, go to Hidden Grounds on Easton Avenue. TAPInto New Brunswick says the local coffee joint, with two locations on the strip, vows to donate 100 percent of its profits over the next week to victims of Hurricane Harvey. This tall order also includes a GoFundMe page so customers can make direct contributions. Shop owners say they will post all receipts, detailing where the money went; TAPInto New Brunswick will be following.
IN THE MEDIA
NEWARK - In this era of "fake news" and "media bias," our nation's most prominent newspaper is continually slammed by conservatives. The New York Times did itself no favors in its reporting yesterday of the Sen. Robert Menendez trial, failing to mention in a 1,288-word article that the senator charged with corruption happens to be a card-carrying Democrat. After getting slammed all over the web, the newspaper quietly did some stealth editing, mentioning his party affiliation, but failed to acknowledge the correction. This prompted even more ire from the media's right. "Shame on you, editors," yelled the Daily Mail.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
BRISTOL, UK - It's a story that seems unbelievable. But, heck, it ran in the NY Post, so here we go: A guy named Liam Smyth picked up a girl on Tinder, bought her dinner and brought her back to his place to do the obvious. She excused herself and "went to do a poo." But the toilet wouldn't flush, the NY Postreports, so the woman panicked, reached into the toilet, wrapped her feces in tissue paper and threw it out the window. Then, it got weird. The bundle didn't exactly make it out the window, falling between the window panes. Mortified, she had to notify her new friend of the problem. So the super couple returned to the bathroom and decided to lift her up and into the window to grab the turd. Then, it got weirder. She became stuck in the window. Smythe spent 15 minutes trying to get her out before giving up and calling the fire department. Firefighters shattered the window (see below), releasing the poop and grabbing the woman. Smythe has since set up (you guessed it) a GoFundMe campaign to buy a new window, which, according to Smyth, has raised over 10 times the original campaign amount.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Sure, there's an obvious risk when you fight Jean-Claude Van Damme in a movie. Yet a jury still awarded $487,00 to actor Jackson Pinckney on this day in 1994, after Van Damme partially blinded him with a prop knife during the filming of "Cyborg."
WORD OF THE DAY
Soi-disant - [swah-dee-ZAHN] - adjective
Definition: Self-proclaimed; so-called
Example: There are a lot of soi-disant commenters on Liam Smyth's GoFundMe page offering suggestions on how to remove his date from the window.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Boom