The Jaffe Briefing - August 2, 2017
UR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
STATEWIDE - It looks like Sen. Cory Booker has found a way for us to endure the next three and a half years: Light up. He has introduced the Marijuana Justice Act, which would legalize the drug at the federal level, leaving Americans in a lovely happy haze, immune to what we may see on CNN. Booker said it is "the right thing to do" in the War Against Drugs and will help reduce the numbers in our bursting prisons. Together, we can Make America High Again.
ROBBINSVILLE - It's like a modern-day gold rush, as hundreds of eager people are expected to line up this morning to be immediately hired by Amazon. The online mega giant is looking for 1,500 people in New Jersey over the course of a frenzied four hours of hiring at its Robbinsville facility. Just a quick visit to a big white tent and you can leave with a full-time gig, with health insurance, retirement perks and other goodies on Day One of your new career. It's all part of a nationwide effort to swell the Amazon ranks by another 50,000 employees.
CHATSWORTH - You would think there isn't much news from the sleepy cranberry bogs of South Jersey. But you obviously aren't paying much attention to the struggling bobwhite quail and the determination of New Jersey Audubon to rebuild their population in the state. Over the past three years, quail caught in Georgia have been systematically released in the South Jersey bogs in the hopes the birds would take to life in Jersey. Early efforts have resulted in impressive results and alas: "The News." Yesterday, researchers confirmed hatchings in two nests in the Pine Barrens, with 20 chicks preparing for flight.
BEDMINSTER - In Trump world, New Jersey is a heckuva nicer place to stay than the stately mansion known as the White House. Golf.com reports some heresay among members of the Trump golf club who say the President is always in Bedminster because, in his words, "that White House is a real dump." You'll see the comment in an article appearing in next week's Sports Illustrated. Is it accurate? Likely. Will it be denied? You bet. But the one unfortunate fact: Many more Presidential visits to New Jersey are on the horizon to flee that fleabag, rundown, classless, lean-to shack at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
IN THE MEDIA
TOMS RIVER - There's hope that professional, well-meaning, non-biased journalists will soon no longer be tagged as "fake news" by politicians who don't like hearing the truth. But, in the meantime, it looks like other politicians are jumping on the bandwagon, taking advantage of a weakened fourth estate trying to do a massive job with a minimal staff. The latest is Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno - who we thought had a little more class than this - who blasted the state's press corp as "fake news" during a fundraiser Monday night in GOP-rich Ocean County, NJ.com reports. Slamming truth-tellers may get your some applause at a cocktail party - and maybe another donation or two - but it shouldn't be a lead talking point for any credible leader who actually wants to accomplish something.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
KERRVILLE, Texas - If KISS frontman Gene Simmons ever married a cow and they committed the udderly impossible act of reproducing, below is what the offspring would look like. Simmons says he is thrilled to see this newborn calf in Texas with those strikingly similar black-and-white markings of his infamous stage get-up. The rocker even tweeted his admiration of the calf on Sunday, saying, "This is real, folks!!!" The calf is named Genie, in honor of its dad, uh, we mean, Simmons.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was on this day in 2013 that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration identified cyclospora in salads made by Taylor Farms; the parasite causing illness in 223 diners across Nebraska and Iowa. And that is why people out there would rather eat Genie.
WORD OF THE DAY
Anoesis - [dim-uh-NOO-shun] - noun
Definition:
A state of the mind consisting of pure sensation or emotion without cognitive content
Example: Normally, in televised cabinet meetings, it looks as if anoesis descends upon the President: a mental tape loop of possible Twitter posts and questionable hires.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Boom