The Jaffe Briefing - July 31, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
STATEWIDE - Future historians - the few tortured souls who will spend their lives trying to comprehend the true essence of New Jersey in the early 21st Century - will discover yet another maddening head-scratcher: A new study shows the feds have spent $660 million in New Jersey to continually rebuild 3,246 properties that continually get flooded, yet are blindly reconstructed over and over. New Jersey has the distinction of having the third-highest total of "severe repetitive loss properties" in the nation, just behind Texas and Louisiana. And that is just terrific news for our builders.
IN SUBURBIA - That great big house in the suburbs may be your American Dream, but your kids and all their friends would rather slit their wrists than settle down there. There's no culture, all-night restaurants, street musicians and the other pulls of fast-paced urban living. And so, NJ 101.5 reports, don't expect your five-bedroom house to be the giant ATM you envisioned when it's time to sell. In response to the changing market, the suburbs are trying to get exciting, with the redevelopment of the Bell Labs in Holmdel or the big "mixed use" plans in Bridgewater. But it may take some time to take root, as millennials don't seem in such a rush to move to the sticks, find a landscaper and embrace a 40-year mortgage.
NOT IN NEW JERSEY - Is it possible for Gov. Chris Christie to go to a ballgame and not make national news? Apparently not, as New Jersey is now learning the governor was in Milwaukee yesterday to see the Brewers take on the Cubs. Apparently, some fan told Christie he sucked and was a hypocrite, WISN 12 News reports Apparently our governor, his left hand holding a heaping bowlful of nachos, leaned down, got in the guy's face and reportedly said, "Why don't you have another beer?" and then started calling the fan a tough guy, etc. etc. Typical day at the ballpark for our governor.
WOOD-RIDGE - Perhaps it could be a wee bit early, but a Wood-Ridge native has announced that - after careful and lengthy deliberation, and after consult with friends and family - that this is the perfect moment to announce his intention to run for the President of the United States - in just three short years. John Delaney, who is now a congressman in Maryland, made the announcement in front of his father's old pick-up truck in Wood-Ridge, broadcast live on Facebook. And now the big work begins, as Delaney only has 1,268 days and 13 hours before he takes the oath of office, barely enough time to transition to the Delaney Administration.
AT WORK - As you trudged to work on this glorious morning, a silver lining: Your job may be replaced by a robot in just a few short years. NJ.com, which loves its lists, is out with yet another list of 20 jobs that are going the way of the telephone operator and toll taker. We'll just hit you with the "Top Five" on the chopping block: Secretary, Office Clerk, Cashier, Freight Handler and Retail Salesperson.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
WAPAKONETA, Ohio - It's one small replica of the lunar space module; one giant leap back for mankind. Cops are trying to figure who in their right mind would steal the five-inch, solid-gold replica from the Armstrong Air and Space Museum in the famed astronaut's hometown of Wapakoneta. The replica of the module - produced by Cartier - was presented to Neil Armstrong in Paris shortly after their historic space mission. Now, it is elsewhere, in the hands of some space cadet.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1975 that James Riddle Hoffa, one of the most influential American labor leaders of the 20th century, vanished in Detroit, never to be seen again. Likely a Mafia hit, but you didn't hear that from us.
WORD OF THE DAY
Variegated - [VAIR-ee-uh-GEY-tid] - noun
Definition: Varied in appearance or color, marked with patches of different colors.
Example: I find the President's hair to be variegated this morning, in bright shades of yellow, perhaps to mark the end of July.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Beach