The Jaffe Briefing - June 23, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
CAMDEN - Offer them cash and they will come. Okay, clearly this city is no field of dreams. Yet a bunch of dreamers think Camden could become the shimmering East Coast hub for high-tech businesses. To find the next Jeff Bezos (who started Amazon in his garage), the South Jersey Times says the "Camden Innovation Team" is dangling $25,000 before young techno-geeks with a cool high-tech concept, a decent business plan, and enough courage to venture from their parents' basements to start a business amid urban blight. See how to cash-in at camdencatalyst.com.
EAST RUTHERFORD - As the Jets don't seem to have any players this year beyond Pop Warner caliber, it's the ideal time for Woody Johnson to jet off as the President's ambassador to the United Kingdom. Was Johnson selected for the high post because he is a proud graduate of the University of Arizona, and has served on the President's Export Council and the President's Commission on White House Fellows? Or is it because he is chairman of a private asset-management firm, happens to be the great-grandson of the founder of Johnson & Johnson and has a football team valued at $2.6 billion?
YOUR BACKYARD - It what could be the most well-timed legislation in decades - Gov. Chris Christie is soon deciding if New Jerseyans will be allowed to legally light up sparklers this Fourth of July. Those sparklers you've been lighting for decades - the lamest of lame explosives - are considered "low-powered consumer fireworks," which is why the proposal sailed through the Assembly 75-0 and the Senate 35-1. The governor has 45 days to sign or veto. This ready-made bill has gotten "press event with kids at beach" written all over it.
ESSEX COUNTY - Pussycat ears are still showing up on those "pedestrian crossing" signs we typically ignore while driving. So far, stick-figure people on nearly 30 street signs in South Orange, Maplewood and Millburn have makeovers, with taped-on, pointy cat ears. It's apparently the mischievous handiwork of "Pussies United," a women's solidarity group out to shame America's Groper-in-Chief. The group's anonymous leader tells The Village Green her "growing posse of pussy ninjas" plans to slap more cat ears on street signs in other Republican strongholds around Morris and Somerset counties, with likely some special attention around a certain golf club in Bedminster.
BERGEN COUNTY - Even the big brains at Jeopardy! can't figure out New Jersey's laws. Case in point was Tuesday's "Daily Double," witnessed by countless people eating their dinner on a TV tray. The $1,600 answer was: "Bergen County, New Jersey has one of the USA's last blue laws, banning retailers from doing this." One contestant quickly answered: 'What is selling alcohol;" the next one shouted, "What is selling alcohol on Sundays?" Alex Trebek accepted it, even though people in Bergen County watched in disbelief. You can buy food and alcohol up there; Blue Laws prevent you from buying stuff like shoes, cars and clothes, as a desperate effort over the past 60 years to prevent traffic.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MARODA, India - We all know about the Trump high rises, Trump compounds and Trump golf courses. And now - because of a charity that digs pit toilets - there is a tiny north Indian village unofficially called "Trump Sulabh Village." Not because it's gold-encrusted, but to make the President more aware of the need for simple, pit toilets for sanitation. Many of the 400 villagers have no clue who this Trump guy is, but they appreciate the effort of the charity, which will build 60 or more free toilets in mud-built homes as part of this gimmick. Expect a team of Trump copyright lawyers to descend on Maroda, India, within the hour.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1967 that South Jersey is still celebrating: President Lyndon B. Johnson met with Soviet Premier Aleksei Kosygin in Glassboro for a three-day summit. The meeting wasn't particularly successful, as the Soviets weren't budging on such nagging issues as Vietnam and the Middle East. But, hey, did we mention these guys were in Glassboro?
WORD OF THE DAY
Cacoepy: [kuh-KOH-uh-pee] - adjective
Definition: Incorrect pronunciation; mispronunciation
Example:
His speech was filled with cacoepy; no clue what the heck he said.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Unsettled