The Jaffe Briefing - June 16, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
JERSEY CITY - Here's a kinky new twist on the typical cop-in-trouble tale. A Hudson County sheriff's officer, sworn in just last week, could get booted after the brass found out she appeared as a dominatrix in a few bondage videos. The Bayonne native, 31, who never appeared nude in these fetish flicks, faces a June 27 departmental hearing because her former career is considered "conduct unbecoming" for a sheriff's officer, the Jersey Journal reports. A Superior Court judge already blocked her bosses from tossing her out of the police academy in May. So, let's see if she can whip up some support. The good news: she already knows how to use handcuffs.
WALL - School districts aren't really prepared for national press scrutiny, so little surprise that Wall is going a wee bit overboard and reissuing its 248-page yearbooks. The decision follows the story of the kid whose Trump T-shirt was Photoshopped by yearbook editors who apparently don't want to make America great again. Quote from the superintendent: "I cannot allow the intentional change that was not based on dress code to be ignored. I am the Chief School Administrator in this district and I take responsibility for the actions of those who are employed here. Therefore, I have determined that a re-issuance of the yearbook is necessary." At least graduates will now have collector's editions of the "unofficial" yearbook for eBay.
STATEWIDE - This budget year, New Jersey reaped more than $944 million from state tobacco revenues and a 1998 tobacco settlement. Yet a new report from an anti-smoking organization says the state is "among the worst in the nation" in funding smoking prevention programs, NJ 101.5 reports. State officials are quick to note there are around $10 million to be thrown at anti-smoking programs next year, like NJ Quitline (1-866-657-8677). Oh, and the state has the third-lowest adult smoking rate among the states at 13.5 percent - well below the national average. (It's sure great not to be Arkansas.) But the anti-smoking folks are quick to retort that cigarette tax collections are creeping back up in New Jersey and it's time to throw more of this glorious tobacco windfall back into fighting tobacco use. Maybe more ads with blackened lungs, or a guy breathing out of his neck.
TRENTON - Banning the sale of a dangerous product that has suffocated babies is one step closer in New Jersey, as the Senate Budget Committee voted yesterday to move the bill to the floor. The legislation has already sailed through the Assembly without a nay vote, and the Senate committee yesterday didn't have one "no" vote to rid stores of supplemental mattresses. Here's hoping that politics and industry lobbyists don't get in the way of proactive legislation that focuses on protecting our littlest ones, as it still needs to get through the full Senate and then the governor over the next few weeks.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
NORTHAMPTON, Mass. - Sometimes the cheapest solution is the best. Here's a Massachusetts mayor who pulled a buck from his pocket to shut up a guy complaining about parking fees. The man told The Daily Hampshire Gazette that he paid $1 to park in Northampton last week when he and his wife went out for dinner. He put the money in a payment kiosk at 6:15 p.m., not knowing that the city stops parking enforcement at 6 p.m. This guy, from Hershey, Pa., took it as far as complaining to the city's Parking Division, which forwarded the issue to Mayor David Narkewicz for some reason. The quick solution: the mayor mailed the dollar and an apology. Case closed.
YOUR BED - A mattress company is out with an eye-opening study: People who get 7.1 hours of sleep are "perfectly happy." People who get 7 hours are "mostly happy" and people who get 6.9 hours are "somewhat happy." Less than 6.8 hours of sleep meant "complete unhappiness," reports Amerisleep, based on a poll of 2,000 habitual sleepers, who probably sleep at least once a day. Based on our expert interpretation of this poll, we suggest getting 7.2 hours of sleep to be "unbelievably happy," or 7.3 hours to achieve "blissful euphoria." 7.4 hours? Indescribable.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1889 that Cracker Jack was invented, giving you not only a snack, but also a tattoo.
WORD OF THE DAY
Yips: [YIPS] - noun
Definition: A state of nervous tension affecting an athlete in the performance of a crucial action
Example: Yeah, I got the yips on the ninth hole, knocking an easy two-foot putt into the woods.
WEATHER IN THE WORD
Clouds