The Jaffe Briefing - June 12, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
WALL - Figure those overworked, anxiety-filled editors of the high school yearbook were worried about "political statements" clouding their masterpiece. Perhaps that's why they edited out a kid's Trump shirt from his official mug. Officials at Wall High School are investigating, saying there is nothing in the school's dress code that prohibits a student from expressing a political view. Notes the schools superintendent: "It is reasonable to assume that some edits to content are made before the pages are reviewed by administration." Ya think?
PARSIPPANY - There was little doubt which motorist smashed into the fire hydrant. That's because the driver, who fled the scene, left a trail of water all the way to a local home, where cops found the car and the hydrant tossed in the trash. The driver was nearby, at a diner, enjoying his last taste of freedom. Cops are charging the 27-year-old driver with criminal mischief, hindering apprehension, and tampering with evidence. Oh, and because he appears undocumented, he has been turned over to federal immigration officials, AP reports. Unclear if he has an attorney, which may be pointless if he is dispatched to the other side of the planet.
MONROE TOWNSHIP (GLOUCESTER CO.) - Damn these overachievers. The Dowd family is the latest to make us look terrible, receiving some well-deserved ink for four siblings who never, ever missed a day of school, NJ.com reports. They are all superb students, of course, and are all great in athletics, of course. And never a sniffle or sore throat or anything at all that would prompt any of them to ever miss a day of school. And there was some luck, like getting sick when schools were closed because of Superstorm Sandy, or postponing knee surgery until the end of school. So, kudos, to the clan, ages, 21, 19, and twins at 18, for the achievement. They certainly deserve a day off.
BEDMINSTER - One place we weren't yesterday was the Trump National Club, where the super-rich and connected plunked down up to $100,000 to rub elbows with President Trump, admire his power tie and get their own, up-and-close glimpse of his hair. In total, Trump, raised more than $800,000 in the closed-door event for Rep. Tom MacArthur, who Democrats are targeting for defeat next year because, in part, because of his blind support to dismantle the national health care law.
STILL IN BEDMINSTER - No extra charge for the "Leader of the Free World" crashing a Saturday night wedding reception here. President Trump stunned newlyweds Tucker Gladhill and Kristen Piatkowski with a surprise appearance in their ballroom at Trump National Golf Club. CNN says the Crasher-in-Chief posed for pictures with the deliriously happy couple. He gave away autographed "Make America Great Again" ball caps and he took his sweet time soaking up adoration from cheering guests who chanted "U.S.A.! U.S.A!"
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ANAHEIM, CA - Knowing the marketing geniuses at Disney, they'll find a way to surcharge 17 guests for the "magical experience" of having geese poop on their heads while in the park. Maybe it will be dubbed "Donald's Dung," or something, as the guests, including six kids, got pelted with crap at 9 p.m. Friday. This prompted - get this - the "Hazardous Materials" unit to be dispatched to Main Street, near Sleeping Beauty's Castle, on a report of flying feces. Authorities said the smeared visitors were directed to a private restroom - with likely a minimal line and only a modest surcharge - to given clean clothes, at, perhaps, a 10 percent discount. Disney reports the guests were both "healthy" and "happy."
IN THE MEDIA
And now, some more of our favorite, all-time newspaper headlines, courtesy of
Columbia Journalism Review...
- Threat Disrupts Plans to Meet about Threats (Athens Banner-Herald)
- Man Accused of Killing Attorney Gets New Lawyer (Albuquerque Sun)
- Cop Makes Arrest in Bathroom After Smelling Crack (Associated Press)
- Farmer Bill Dies in House (Atlanta Journal Constitution)
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day, 30 years ago, that one of the most famous Cold War speeches was delivered in West Berlin: "Secretary General Gorbachev, if you seek peace - if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe - if you seek liberalization: come here, to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall."
WORD OF THE DAY
Calaboose - [KAL-uh-boos] - noon
Definition: A local jail
Example: So, with all this intense, 24-hour media coverage of alleged Russian tampering for months on end, will someone end up in the calaboose?
WEATHER IN A WORD
Scorching