The Jaffe Briefing - May 1, 2017
TRENTON – Gov. Chris Christie says he has “no big regrets” in his public service, even with near-record low job approval ratings. He told Fox News yesterday that other public servants actually care if they are liked and “jealously guard their job approval ratings.” Christie says being liked doesn’t really matter. Perhaps he could actually score a couple of approval points by showing some degree of humility, as not every action needs to be part of a triumphant master plan known only to him. Perhaps answer the question like a normal person: “Big regrets? Obviously. Bridgegate killed me. Supporting Trump killed me. And there are just some big problems in New Jersey that I couldn’t solve. But I am doing the best I can."
PEQUANNOCK – Hey, nice flowers ain’t cheap. So, perhaps that’s the perfectly reasonable explanation for a local flower shop owner who repeatedly stopped by a local cemetery and took plants off graves for months. Cops say the shop owner – who used to be a police dispatcher – was caught on surveillance at the First Reformed Church Cemetery in Pequannock, pulling up in a minivan and helping herself. The suspect says she was merely cleaning away some dead plants from old friends, helping out and all. But cops smell something. And it’s not old tulips.
METUCHEN – Grease is the word that we’ve heard here, where borough officials are fed up with an icky, sticky problem that’s gumming up their sewers. It seems that too much cooking grease from many local restaurants has repeatedly clogged downtown sewer lines, requiring frequent cleanups. The public works director says grease has even oozed out of manhole lids on one street, The Sentinel reports. So, tonight the Borough Council is introducing an ordinance to crack down on eateries that don’t maintain their kitchen grease traps. Borough officials can’t let this one slide.
STATEWIDE – Tomorrow is “Keeping Babies Safe Day” in New Jersey, and it will be marked by the non-profit Keeping Babies Safe with an annual celebration of efforts to educate young parents about safe sleep and dangerous products still on the market. One of those products is supplemental baby mattresses, a known suffocation hazard, which the non-profit and others are urging the state Legislature to ban. As the bill is moving swiftly, with unanimous support in the Assembly and the Senate Commerce Committee, the hope is to have it on the governor’s desk for signature later this spring. A no-brainer.
UNION – Drive-thru pharmacies are the “in thing” for convenience. But please check first to see if your local pharmacy actually offers the service. A driver took out the northeast side wall of the CVS on Morris Avenue yesterday morning. Thankfully, only minor injuries, but it made for one great photo.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
WAYNESBORO, Va. – This story is so weird; it just writes itself. Cops in this small town in the Shenandoah Valley are trying to find the person who has been grabbing cats and precisely shaving their underbellies or legs. So far, seven cats have been shorn since December and returned to their owners annoyed, but otherwise unharmed. Cops learned about this “feline barbering spree” when a resident asked police if he could post notices attempting to find who is doing all this. Doubtful if there are any local ordinances to prevent people from randomly trimming cat hair, but we assume it’s coming.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2015 that Elon Musk, head of Tesla Motors, continued to take over the world, announcing the formation of “Tesla Energy.” That company would produce large, renewable batteries to power homes and businesses, thereby controlling pretty much everything.
WORD OF THE DAY
Fey – [FAY] - adjective
Definition: crazy, touched
Example: Sometimes, for fun, I see myself as a fey mystic with an accent that I think sounds kinda French.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Fog