The Jaffe Briefing - April 21, 2017

STATEWIDE - Maybe it's all these great apps that instantly connect like-minded people, but it looks like millennials are having absolutely no problem finding some unprotected casual sex in the Garden State. But it has become a sticky issue that has reached the Statehouse, as lawmakers are learning the rate of sexually transmitted diseases in New Jersey has reached a climax: One in two sexually active people ages 15-25 will get the clap, or some other embarrassing rash, unless they protect themselves. The state is investing $4.4 million to remind a whole new generation that - yes - a condom is your little friend. And much better than a herpe.

LAKEWOOD - Thrilled to see state officials auditing the heck out of a local school for special-needs children, which pulls its funding from the hopelessly-broke school district, now with a $15 million budget hole. It was learned the School for Children with Hidden Intelligence apparently overcharged the township by at least $340,000 in the 2011-12 school year, the Asbury Park Press reports. That comes after the school's founder was just indicted on allegations of stealing more than $630,000 in public funds and laundering much of it. Here's hope this is the tip of the iceberg, as the Lakewood public schools need every cent.

STATEWIDE - So, a new report says the median salary for a New Jersey teacher is $66,117, up about 2.4 percent from last year. OK, great. No opinion there. But the concern is the gaping span between what one district pays, as opposed to another. In Northern Valley, a regional school district in leafy Bergen County, the median salary is $105,650. But then in East Newark Borough, the median is only $43,911, NJ.com reports. Ugh. Of course there are plenty of legitimate reasons, like perhaps a bunch of retirements and a big hiring spree of rookie teachers. But, as all districts follow the same state-mandated curriculum, there shouldn't be any startling swings between the haves and have-nots. At least in our glorious utopia for publicly-funded education.

STATEWIDE - Jim Gearhart - the beloved radio talk show host and officially-designated state curmudgeon - is out with his latest podcast, focusing on all the stupid state laws that are still mysteriously on the books. Below are some of the latest laws that are ticking off Jim:

- In Haddonfield, it's illegal to annoy someone of the opposite sex.
- In Mount Laurel, it's illegal to annoy others in your own house.
- In Newark, you can't sell ice cream after 6 p.m.
- In Ocean City, you can't slurp your soup.
- In Raritan Borough, you can't curse in public. (Dang it)
- In Trenton, you can't throw bad pickles into the street or eat them on Sunday.
- In Sea Isle City, you can't boil bones on public property.

IN THE MEDIA

NEW YORK - With word the airwaves may finally be rid of the self-righteous, super obnoxious Bill O'Reilly, NJ.com is thinking who would make a great replacement. How about the "Christie Factor," a new prime-time show on Fox News? A Christie source told NJ.com he has "no idea" if the governor is interested in such a gig, but it did not deter an article focusing on why Christie is perfect for a Fox News gig, publishing seven "fair and balanced" reasons. NJ.com points to the fact the governor loves to gab on the radio, wants to make serious money and thinks like a Fox pundit. It also gives him a pulpit for a future in politics, and offers more credibility than a job slamming Eli Manning on WFAN. Read it here.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

SEATTLE - The "prestige" of being a Starbucks barista includes making 30 or so drinks an hour, as impatient people stare at you, while you try to fulfill ultra-precise requests (six sugars, half-soy, half-almond, half-decaf). The final injustice for the poor barista is the latest Starbucks drink: the Unicorn Frappuccino. (Think sour birthday cake mixed with a Creamsicle and covered with Pixie Stix.) This, er, "drink" requires the barista to use pink and blue cream swirl topped with what Starbucks calls "fairy powder." It's a thorough mess to watch the barista, with sticky hands and this fairy dust on his clothes and in his hair, make this drink among all the demand for fraps. It prompted one 19-year-old barista in Seattle to post a social media video on Wednesday, now deleted, saying he's "never been so stressed out" in his life trying to make the Unicorn Frappuccino. Another reason, kids, to go to college.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1963 that the Beatles first met the Rolling Stones.

Here is an exclusive transcript of the conversation:

"Hey, Jude," says John.

"Let's Spend the Night Together," responds Mick.

"I Want To Hold Your Hand," suggests Paul.

"You Can't Always Get What You Want," says Keith.

WORD OF THE DAY

Cramoisy - [KRAM-oi-zee] - noun

Definition: Crimson cloth

Example: For the big meeting, Ringo wore a lovely cramoisy scarf.

WEATHER IN A WORD

Wet