The Jaffe Briefing - March 31, 2017
NEW BRUNSWICK - You can't seriously expect to run a college without chicken fingers, right? They are a staple, like expensive coffee and cheap beer, which makes the typical student perform at perceived levels of top performance. But Rutgers University is now pulling the plug on fried greatness, like the chicken finger, as well as hash browns and any other legitimate reason why you would ever go to a dining hall in the first place. Local chicken joints must be elated, as the baked v. fried debate belongs around a bong, not in a chow line with your brown tray.
TRENTON - In 2010, wise lawmakers agreed to finally cap the crazy accrual of "unused absences" for public employees at $15,000. But there are still plenty of employees of school districts, towns, and counties who are looking at huge payouts, NJ Spotlight reports. In yet another reason why your property taxes are north of obscene, public employees are due $1.9 billion or so when they retire for unused sick time and other taxpayer-funded absences. NJ Spotlight even found one employee looking at a ridiculous $500,000 golden parachute for days of unearned pay. And there appears to be no end in sight. Read it all here.
WALLINGTON - "No backsies" is a schoolyard lesson every kid learns. Somehow it eluded Councilwoman Sharon Robie, who quit the Borough Council in mid-March then showed up for a "do-over" a few weeks later. Regretting her hasty departure, Robie asked to withdraw her resignation. She was stunned when three fellow council Republicans appointed someone to replace her. Robie told The Record politics in her tiny Bergen County town "is so ugly, from Democrats to Republicans. The retribution is horrible ...people don't like it if you don't vote the way they vote." They don't seem too fond of quitters either.
HIGHLAND PARK - Call it eerily coincidental, but there is suddenly plenty of interest in dusting off the film "1984." It is being shown in Highland Park and Jersey City. It is being shown in both these towns on April 4, the day action begins in this movie, based on George Orwell's novel of a future totalitarian society. The United States of Cinema says viewers may notice some slight similarities to what they watch on, oh say, CNN: A government that manufactures its own facts, demands total obedience, and demonizes foreign enemies. And, you know, stuff like that.
EDISON - It's Edison's bright idea of a blue-light special. The town is turning its historic Edison Memorial Tower awash in blue light each night during April to observe Autism Awareness month. Sunday evening, Mayor Tom Lankey flips the switch at the 1938 Art Deco memorial in Menlo Park, kicking off a month-long effort to raise public awareness about the pervasive disorder. On Monday, municipal employees are wearing Autism Awareness t-shirts to work and Edison firefighters are selling those shirts at Menlo Park Mall this weekend to raise money for Autism Speaks. So, you too can go blue with Edison.
CHERRY HILL - A stolen $1 million Normal Rockwell painting is finally going back to its rightful owner. The painting, known as "Lazybones" or "Taking a Break," depicts a young man snoozing with his dog. It was stolen during a 1976 home burglary. Recently, an attorney for someone who possessed the stolen artwork phoned the FBI and surrendered it. The painting's former owners are deceased. It will go to their daughter Susan Murta, who told Philly.com: "The FBI did a great job. They put a lot of work into it." And, it only took them 40 years.
ROOSEVELT - Firefighters in tiny Roosevelt are turning in their hoses, after voters rejected a plan to spend $600,000 on a new firehouse. The volunteers are quitting and will fan out to neighboring Monmouth County fire departments that will - we can only hope - now cover Roosevelt. If not, let's all agree, Roosevelt voters chose poorly.
IN THE MEDIA
TRENTON - A judge has ruled it is perfectly in the right of the Trentonian to write about a kindergarten student who had 30 packets of heroin in his lunchbox last year. Judge Lawrence De Bello says there is no evidence to support the state's argument that the reporter stole the complaint from the boy's mom, AP reports. She knew the reporter, Isaac Avilucea, was writing about her son, and, for some reason, still gave him the official paperwork. She had even met the reporter at his office, making her more than a willing participant in his story. The Trenton boy is fortunately in foster care; his dad facing a heap of charges. A victory for the First Amendment, yes, but not this kindergartener.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
HARRISBURG, Pa. - It's been an easy, breezy week for teachers at Harrisburg High School, where nearly half of the students have been suspended for missing too much class time. Pennlive says about 500 kids have been slapped with suspension notices, as part of the mega-crackdown by the new, humorless principal who is infuriated by kids loitering in hallways after the bell. Message received, Madame Principal, ma'am.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2013 that a computer that was once the world's fastest - the IBM Roadrunner - was decommissioned, officially deemed a big pile of junk.
WORD OF THE DAY
Nescience - [nesh-uh-ns] - noun
Definition: Lack of knowledge. Ignorance
Example: Does "1984" merely expose an appalling national nescience?
WEATHER IN A WORD
Soaker