The Jaffe Briefing - March 29, 2017
ELSEWHERE - It's a very convenient day for Gov. Chris Christie to be in Washington, D.C. with the President, as two of his former aides are to be sentenced in Newark in the Bridgegate scandal. As the lives of Bill Baroni and Bridget Kelly are further shattered by the infamous lane closures of 2013, we are all still left wondering what Christie knew and when he knew it. Was this pair just following orders or are they just guilty of blindly trying to impress the big boss? Whatever the case, we hope for a lenient judge. Baroni and Kelly have already paid dearly. So has Christie, who is at the White House today, not as President of the United States.
LAWRENCEVILLE - Hey, pal. Psst! Wanna buy a choir college? Rider University is looking to unload its renowned Westminster Choir College and the 23-acre Princeton campus where 460 students learn to make beautiful music. NJ.com says Rider's trustees have hired Price Waterhouse to come up with a buyer as Rider faces a looming $13 million revenue shortfall by 2019. If you act now, and call the 1-800 number within the next 10 minutes, Rider might also throw in its biology department and half the business school.
ON THE PHONE - Under the category of "About Damn Time," it looks like the federal government is finally going to crack down on the despised "robo calls" that have attacked and conquered your phone line, with annoying calls throughout the day. (No, my car warranty has not expired...) The FCC may give phone companies more power to block these calls. NJ 101.5 spoke with Steve Miller, intrepid journalism professor at Rutgers, who calls robocalls the "bane of most people's existence," adding he just got a call from (111) 111-1111. Hmmm. Could it be Aunt Mary from Florida?
CHERRY HILL - If you are blessed enough to turn 100, perhaps your dream is to taste a Fudgie the Whale cake or maybe a whiskey that is older than you. For one Haddon Township man, his birthday wish was to spend the day working at Hutchinson Plumbing, Heating and Cooling. WCAU-TV reports that Bill Hansen's wish came true, as the retired permit coordinator arrived back at his old job, to a birthday cake and a standing ovation. The company's CEO was generous enough to pay Hansen $1 and organized a day of assignments for him. Hansen worked at the company for 32 years before retiring at age 97. Apparently, Hutchinson Plumbing, Heating and Cooling is a truly terrific place to work.
OLD BRIDGE - Some young whipper-snapper wants to put veteran state Sen. Sam Thompson out to pasture. Thompson, 82, is at risk of losing his re-election bid in a surprise June primary challenge from Arthur "Art" Haney, 68, a former freeholder, mayor and this town's current GOP chairman. Middlesex County Republicans voted 2-1 on Saturday to give the official ballot line to Haney, not Thompson, who's served the 12th District - which also includes swaths of Burlington, Monmouth and Ocean counties - since 1998. Haney has also won Burlington County's GOP ballot line, while Thompson took it in Monmouth and Ocean. Gonna be interesting to watch.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ZURICH - If you live in Switzerland - which, yeah, you don't - don't think about naming your kid "J." Or, any other letter. The Zurich administrative court has ruled it is not in the best interest of a child to give a letter as a given name. Parents argued they would pronounce the kid's name "Jay." But the court said the letter is pronounced "Yott" in German, creating confusion. The court also said that confused people would then start putting a period after the J, creating more widespread chaos that could likely destroy the very fabric of a modern country. In other news, the Swiss, for some reason, still have no problem naming their kids "Heilwig" and "Ingegerd."
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
On this day in 2013, researchers think they found Jesus Christ's burial cloth, using some crazy mechanical and thermal measurements, dating it between 300 BC and 400 AD. Meanwhile, we can't find the dishcloth in the kitchen.
WORD OF THE DAY
Occam's razor - [AH-kumz-RAY-zer] - noun
Definition: A rule: The simplest theory should be preferred to the more complex explanation.
Example: Hmmm. The window sill is wet. I think I will invoke Occam's razor and assume that someone left open the window when it rained. It makes more sense than my second theory that little aliens invaded my house, pulled out the garden hose, sprayed the window sill and then flew back to their galaxy.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Sun!