The Morning Briefing - December 13, 2016
AT THE MALL - No one ever pays the sticker price at those department stores - or at least we sure don't. So it is with general surprise that we report Los Angeles prosecutors are going after J.C. Penney, Sears, Kohl's and Macy's, accusing them of duping shoppers into believing they are getting great deals. Here is how the "scam" goes: There is a price on the tag, which is discounted, and then discounted, then couponed, and then discounted again. (Repeat, if necessary.) The big apparent "surprise": that T-shirt never sold for $69.99. Yeah, no duh. But now prosecutors are demanding answers. The next big revelation: charging $9.99, as opposed to $10, is a deliberate act to make an item appear cheaper. Wow. You heard it here first, folks.
ATLANTIC CITY - Can Donald Trump make Atlantic City great again? A bunch of history buffs think so, and want to immortalize the millionaire mogul-in-chief with a glitzy "Trump Museum" to lure tourists back to this struggling resort town. Helpful hint: To cut short their hunt for Trump artifacts they just have to dial up "American Bridge," the Democrat Super PAC that created a pop-up Trump Museum at the Cleveland RNC. It's already got souvenirs galore from Trump's gilded casino empire and esteemed Trump University, magazines featuring Trump, books by and about him, wedding mementos, samples of his pricey signature collection suits and golf shirts, Trump board games, and action figures that spout Trump's signature phrase, "You're fired!" It could all make a new Trump Museum really huge!
SALEM - Folks here want fewer freeholders, so the director has quit. Freeholder Director Julie Acton abruptly resigned Friday, a month after Salem County voters decided 21,942-7,013 to cut the freeholder board from seven to five members by 2018. A freeholder since 2007, Acton was re-elected Nov. 8, but tells NJ.com the referendum "effectively voids the three-year term I was just elected to serve." Miffed county workers pushed the ballot question as payback after freeholders suggested privatizing some jobs to close a $4 million budget gap. Workers argued that money-saving should start at the top. Well, Acton's departure does save the county a whopping $26,410. So, only $3,973,590 left to go.
PITTSTOWN - Last year, at this time, we wrote about a nice lady from Pittstown, who also happened to be the oldest American, at a spry 113. We thought: "Well, that's the last time we write about good ol' Adele Dunlap." But, yesterday, she turned 114, at the Country Arch Care Center in Pittstown. Wow. The Record notes she tells folks she is actually 105 years old. But, at this point, she can say whatever the heck she wants. See you again next year, Adele!
HAMILTON - The school superintendent is doing damage control after a teachers' lounge joke went public. So, instead of one measly news article, the story went statewide yesterday. At issue is a handwritten message in permanent marker on a whiteboard, saying teachers: "Always Give 100% at Work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday and 5% Friday." Last week, The Trentonian printed an article and photo, prompting Superintendent Thomas Ficarra to denounce it as an "embarrassment," and - in case you're wondering - say it's "definitely not board of education policy." The teachers' union president said the "fun gesture" isn't new, it's been there for years because it was "so hard to erase." Sure, budgets are tight. But time for a new whiteboard?
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
EAST AURORA, N.Y. - Is junior jealous of your bitchin' man cave in the basement? Then, this holiday season, look no further than Fisher-Price's "Happy Hour Playset." This playset has it all, with the box featuring three toddlers standing at the bar, with one posing as a bartender. Two of the kids are holding delicious bottles of suds. Yes, this is a fake, courtesy of someone on Instagram. But Fisher Price has managed to maintain some humor as the image goes viral, saying it's an "obvious love of the brand."
IN THE MEDIA
KNOXVILLE - We're always about the light side of the news, especially with plenty of Ho Ho Hos this time of the year. But there was one tear-jerker of a column appearing yesterday in the Knoxville News Sentinel, which has to be reposted. It tells the story of a terminally-ill 5-year-old boy who died in the arms of Santa. Read it here, from Santa's perspective. Santa tells his story here:
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2010 that a 2,400-year-old pot of soup is discovered near China's ancient capital of Xi'an. "It's cold," complained Mel.
WORD OF THE DAY
Methuselah [muh-THOO-zuh-luh] - noun
Definition: An ancestor of Noah held to have lived 969 years OR an oversize wine bottle holding about six liters
Example: If Donald Trump has the lifespan of Methuselah, will I be spending the rest of my days guzzling methuselahs?
WEATHER IN A WORD
Clouds