The Morning Briefing - December 7, 2016
December 7, 1941 - A Date Which Will Live in Infamy
HAMMONTON - Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like a political pit bull riding atop a fire truck. The local fire department has decided to make Kellyanne Conway - President-elect Donald Trump's tough-talking spin-meister - as the Grand Marshal of its Christmas Parade. To be fair, the Press of Atlantic City says Conway, who grew up in nearby Atco and graduated from a Catholic high school here, is the first woman to manage a winning presidential campaign in American history. So, the honor is well-deserved. But, the Press also notes many locals took to social media, expressing irritation that Hammonton chose to "politicize" its parade. Expect Conway to call it the "best parade that has ever happened on the planet, Ever."
LAKEWOOD - For all those people who dutifully buy lottery tickets every morning, with the numbers they carefully carved in their own minds as guaranteed winners, but never actually win anything, don't read any further. A Manchester man - who loyally picks his own numbers - just won $1 million when a Lakewood-based lottery clerk accidentally sold him a ticket with computer-generated numbers. No hurt feelings, obviously, as the surprised winner chose the $1 million prize, rather than the option to receive $1,000 a week for life.
UNION TWP. - Some helpful tips for drug runners: Don't swap 50 pounds of pot from one vehicle to another in a big empty parking lot where anyone can watch. Don't do it just down the road from a State Police barracks. It's all how Det. Bruce Sanderson easily nabbed four bumbling drug runners Sunday evening. He happened to see them switching $39,000 worth of marijuana from a van into a car in the parking lot of a Perryville Road middle school in this Hunterdon County town, NJ.com reports. More troopers and a K-9 unit were called to slap handcuffs on two Pennsylvania men and a New York couple. One last tip: Never do anything like this in a school zone. It adds more years to your time in the clink.
AT THE DISPENSARY - As New Jersey grapples with medical marijuana, let's debate "medical" magic mushrooms. Researchers say the psychedelic drug in "magic 'shrooms" causes a warm inner glow, euphoric delight and mind-blowing hallucinations. Kool. In short, they're a freaking awesome treatment for depression, anxiety and other mental maladies. The Journal of Psychotherapy says scientists dosed 80 cancer patients with psilocybin, triggering "mystical therapeutic experiences" that last for months. Shrooms seem to "reduce cancer-related demoralization and hopelessness" and lead to "improved spiritual well-being and attitudes on death." Did we mention those awesome hallucinations? More research is necessary, for those fortunate enough to participate. See more here.
LAKEWOOD - Georgian Court University has apparently figured out the special sauce to attracting a strong admissions pool, focusing on parochial schools and community colleges. University officials have now hammered out an agreement with Donovan Catholic High School in Toms River, which follows recent deals with Trenton Catholic, Holy Cross in Delran, Holy Spirit in Absecon and St. Joseph in Hammonton. The university continues to seek more of these targeted arrangements, as part of a very shrewd "Catholic Schools Initiative" launched late last year, building a pipeline designed to keep building up the school.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
NORTH PORT, Fla. - Assume a Florida woman has given up on long-distance runs, perhaps sticking to a treadmill in which she doesn't actually go anywhere. It's because it took 12 hours of searching to find her, after she got lost doing a half-marathon trail run and ended up wandering around a 25,000-acre park. The Sarasota Times-Herald says the runner managed to be in good spirits when they finally found her Sunday night, after she somehow made a wrong turn and ran three miles by herself before figuring out the problem. Race directors had no idea she was lost until her husband called to say "What's up?"
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1968 that Richard Dodd returned a library book at the University of Cincinnati that his great-grandfather took out in 1823. Librarians did not find the humor, "Dewey decimating" him with brutal fines totaling $1.18. (Actually, the fine would have totaled $22,646, but there was no charge.)
WORD OF THE DAY
Vulpine [VUL-pine] - adjective
Definition: Looking like a fox, crafty
Example: Flashing a vulpine grin, Gov. Chris Christie is not your typical hunk.
VIDEO OF THE DAY
See how a Kohl's customer uses Snapchat to tell her real-life story in line at the check-out.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Gray