The Morning Briefing - November 28, 2016
AT WORK – So, it is the first day back from work. And it is Cyber Monday. So, can we all cut to the chase and declare today, “The Least Productive Work Day of the Year”? Workers throughout New Jersey are flicking back and forth between actual work and online bargain-hunting, as they hide behind closed office doors, or hunker over the screens in their cubicles, hoping the boss is somewhere else, likely surfing the net for that perfect, gold-plated, monogrammed keychain. A survey shows at least half of the workforce doing online shopping today, forcing about one-third of companies to block shopping sites. So, best wishes today on the cat-and-mouse with the boss, and we won’t mention that cool Fitbit now selling on Amazon as a “Prime Early Access Deal.”
ONLINE – Maybe the dumb Black Friday tradition of awakening in the middle of the night and beating up some old lady to get the last bargain alarm clock is finally ending. Economists say Black Friday sales at the stores are down from last year, as people finally realize they can get the same “deals” by just sitting at home in their slippers, sipping some wine and leisurely floating around the Internet. Sure, Black Friday made for some great TV imagery as frantic people banged down security doors and pushed past rent-a-cops to get into the giving mood. But, sane minds have finally ruled the day, as Black Friday generated $3 billion in online sales, a record.
AT THE STORE – These days, stun guns come cleverly concealed as cellphones, pocket flashlights, key fobs, or even lipsticks in a variety of colors for the fashion-conscious. And these stun guns may soon be legal in New Jersey – to the shock of many. Attorney General Christopher Porrino says the Garden State's stun gun ban may be unconstitutional. To avoid being zapped with an expensive federal lawsuit with a Second Amendment rights group, the Record says Porrino has promised a federal judge that once the State Police sets rules for the purchase and use of non-lethal defensive weapons, stun guns can be sold here. And nothing says Happy Holidays like a pink lipstick Taser. (Now a Prime Early Access Deal… Shop NOW!)
ATLANTIC CITY – Never, ever throw anything away. Case in point: a baseball that Henry Ford signed in the 1930s, along with legendary race car driver Ralph DePalma and a few Ford engineers, was auctioned off to a Las Vegas car dealer for just over $15,000. The baseball turned up in August at an Atlantic City sports collectors’ convention when an anonymous New Jersey couple pulled it from a dusty attic box. Auctioneer Josh Evens told Forbes magazine: “I'd seen photographs of Henry Ford signing these baseballs at a 1933 Ford exhibit. Here was the first one ever discovered. Not even Cooperstown has one.”
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
TOKYO – Feel free to show off dead fish at the market or the sushi restaurant. But it apparently lacks class to show off dead fish in the ice of a skating rink. Social media ripped apart a place called Space World, after the owner purchased 5,000 or so fish from a market and froze them in the ice. It is apparently bad taste to spell out the fish to say “Hello,” as it shows the abuse of once-living things. The owner, under mounting criticism, is now extracting the fish and will hold a somber memorial service for all of them. Perhaps a similar service should be held each and every time the waiter brings a sushi boat.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1997 that the official dumbest show on television – Beavis and Butthead – aired its last episode on MTV, underscoring, yet again, that 16-year-old boys will watch anything.
WORD OF THE DAY
Vicissitude [vuh-SISS-uh-tood] – noun
Definition: A favorable or unfavorable event or situation that occurs by chance; a fluctuation of state or condition
Example: Those vying for a slot in the Trump cabinet are dealing with the vicissitudes at the highest levels of a bizarre reality show.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Average