The Morning Briefing - November 8, 2016
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – There is absolutely no reason to not vote today. You know it is Election Day; it has been drilled into your head for the past nine months. The weather is picture perfect, with sunny skies and temperatures that could hit 68 degrees. Polls are open until 8 p.m., and, because this is New Jersey, there is likely a polling place less than a mile from your house. Sure, there is a lot to do today. The car needs an oil change, a kid needs to be driven somewhere, that dry cleaning has been sitting for a week. There is, of course, work. And, blah, blah, blah. But, c’mon now.
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ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Even if Donald Trump wins today, it looks as if Gov. Chris Christie could still be posting his resume on Monster. NBC is out with a report of what Trump’s cabinet could look like. All the President’s Men includes Rudy Giuliani grabbing the coveted post of attorney general, leaving Christie in the dust. The cabinet would also feature Newt Gingrich for secretary of state, retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn for defense secretary or national security adviser, Trump finance chairman Steve Mnuchin for Treasury secretary, and Republican National Committee finance chair Lew Eisenberg for commerce secretary. Perhaps Christie will follow the prestigious career path of a fellow governor, Sarah Palin, now a talking head.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Maybe Gov. Chris Christie could have snagged a cabinet position – perhaps as Secretary of Agriculture – if he was able to raise some hard, cold cash for Trump in New Jersey. NJ.com notes the Bridgegate law firm of Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, which has cost New Jersey taxpayers at least $11 million for its services to date, has only mustered $80 for Trump. (Editor’s Note: That fun fact, if true, is downright fascinating.) Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton has generated seven times more money than Trump from New Jersey. In July, Christie’s own brother signed on to Trump’s fundraising team, while Christie raised a record $102 million as Republican National chair. So, what happened in New Jersey?
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Because of the glory of gerrymandering, New Jersey’s Congressional delegation is fully expected not to change, no matter who wins the White House. It looks as if the Republicans will keep the delegation split in the House, at 6-6, even with professional wing-nut Rep. Scott Garrett managing to win yet another two years in Congress. It is amazing that Clinton could win New Jersey by 20 points, as Democrats outnumber Republicans 2:1 here, but nothing ever changes in the House. Yet us voters keep clamoring for “change.”
MONTCLAIR – Tonight’s inevitable climax to this topsy-turvy campaign for the White House means we can finally get back to really, really important stuff like: Sex. No better way to start than with a visit from 88-year-old sex guru Dr. Ruth Westheimer. The vertically challenged, psychosexual therapist is at Montclair State University at 6:30 p.m. tomorrow to talk about deep sea fishing … no, no, um, safe and healthy coitus. Maybe Dr. Ruth can also set the record straight about what loudmouthed millionaire moguls should not kiss, fondle or grab just because they’re big shot celebrities. If you want to see Dr. Ruth in action RSVP.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ONLINE – It has been 14 minutes since the last Internet craze, so here’s the next: Sports teams and others are doing the “mannequin challenge,” posting videos of standing still. It seems like everyone from high school cheerleaders to the New York Giants have been swept up. The videos are set to the song "Black Beatles" by rap duo Rae Sremmurd, which held a live version of the challenge during a concert last week. Because the trend has finally reached us, expect it to be in its final, gasping minute.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Maybe it was much easier to carry a phone than a rifle in World War I, as the Army runs its first ad for the job, getting overwhelmed with 7,000 applicants.
WORD OF THE DAY
Bully pulpit [BULL-ee-PULL-pit] – noun
Definition: A prominent public position (as a political office) that provides an opportunity for expounding one's views
Example: Who will win the right to the bully pulpit?
WEATHER IN A WORD
Vote-y