The Morning Briefing - October 24, 2016
KINGWOOD – The deer are pointing. The bears are laughing. And a hunter is recuperating in a hospital, after falling 20 feet out of a tree stand Saturday. As bunnies and duck giggle, NJ.com reports how the Kingwood Fire Department needed an off-road ATV to pull the hunter out of the woods and get him onto a medivac helicopter. Plenty of wishes are now pouring in from the forest for a long, slow recovery.
STATEWIDE – There’s no question New Jersey is an expensive place to live. But if you are not one who likes to pay your mortgage, there’s plenty of opportunity to free living. NJ 101.5 reports it takes an average of 1,262 days in New Jersey from when the first foreclosure notice is filed to when the bank actually repossesses your home. That is twice the national average. The reason is because of red tape, with banks having to prove they own the mortgage. Somehow, that takes an average of 3 ½ years to work out. So, even though you refuse to pay the mortgage, you may want to consider redecorating.
HAMMONTON – The “creepy clown” craze even has some cops jittery. Police in this Atlantic County town issued a Facebook alert for a “suspicious person” in a creepy costume going door-to-door last week. Just a lot of nunsense, the Philadelphia Inquirer says, after the culprit turned out to be a nun from Quebec selling calendars for charity. Cops confessed the cheerful sister – in a blue habit and cape with a big white cross on it – wasn’t out to frighten anybody. Her only sin: Not getting a permit to solicit donations. Cops let her walk. Cuz no one messes with a nun.
TRENTON – New Jersey’s already had its share of funny governors, but if Joe Piscopo were to get elected he’d be the first real comedian to headline at the Statehouse. The former “Saturday Night Live” star is toying with a Republican run for the top spot and met privately with Gov. Chris Christie last week to discuss the perks and pitfalls, PolitickerNJ reports. We’re just ad libbing here, but perhaps they shared some trade secrets like how not to get upstaged by someone less funny, say … um, Donald Trump or how to handle hecklers like … oh say, irritating reporters or irritated teachers. Piscopo isn’t the only GOP funny man eyeing Christie’s seat. Assembly Minority Leader Jon Bramnick, an amateur stand-up comic, may also make a bid. No matter who runs or wins, the joke always seems to be on us.
PENNSVILLE – Is Radio City missing a Rockette? A high-stepping 29-year-old Deepwater woman used some fancy footwork to kick a police officer in the face, the South Jersey Times says. Cops were jockeying the woman into a patrol car’s backseat after her Oct. 15th arrest for alleged drunken driving and traffic violations, when she added an aggravated assault charge to the mix by high-kicking the officer’s face. She is to appear in Municipal Court next month and, maybe, a few shows at the Music Hall’s upcoming Holiday Spectacular.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
GREENSBURG, Pa. – The last time the town had a different fire chief was during the Eisenhower Administration. So, perhaps it is time for the fire chief, approaching 95, to retire. J. Edward Hutchinson — affectionately known as "Hutch" — has served more than six decades as Greensburg's fire chief, but just isn’t interested in running for a 22nd term, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports. So, now the search is on for a new chief for the first time since 1952, when the job paid around $4,000 a year. Hutch plans to ride off into the sunset, just like John Wayne, as long as there is no fire.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
A bit of an awkward meeting on this day in 2013, when the U.S. ambassador is “invited” by Germany to discuss a WikiLeak document showing our spooks tapped German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s phone calls.
WORD OF THE DAY
Glaucous [GLAW-kus] – adjective
Definition: Of a pale yellow-green color
Example: I have a bad cold, forgive all the glaucous mucous.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Fall!