The Morning Briefing - August 11, 2016

TRENTON – All that howling, stomping and wailing coming from those long lines at MVC stations across New Jersey are finally getting heard in the halls of Trenton. It looks like our state officials are getting serious about those insufferably long lines plaguing drivers who do business with the MVC. Lawmakers vow there will be hearings next month to talk about the abysmal state computer system that is prompting these lines, despite those issues supposedly being “solved” 14 years ago when Jim McGreevey was governor. The insensitive treatment at the MVC is a big deal; for many New Jerseyans this is their only direct contact with the state. And the message heard is loud and clear: The state is really, really screwed up.

IN YOUR WALLET – Got an extra $59,400? Well, cough it up. It would help New Jersey pay down its whopping $200 billion in long- and short-term debt. Chicago-based think tank Truth in Accounting says the Garden State is actually deeper in debt than any other state, but it tries hard to hide about $51 billion of those obligations, NJ 101.5 reports. The state's biggest money pit: pension and health benefits for retired public employees, of course. Think tank CEO Sheila Weinberg says the state's got “only $25 billion in assets to pay its debt … so, in that sense, New Jersey is bankrupt.” If every taxpayer would just pony up $59,400, she says the state could dial back its debt to zero. Feel free to ask that guy standing for three hours at the MVC. 

BRIDGEGATE – The Bridgegate story drags on; we got bored with it a year ago. After all, it already did what Democrats wanted: to derail the Christie bus and make him a political laughing stock in many circles. But every once in a while, the ongoing story produces a kernel of interest. Today’s kernel is courtesy of former staffer Christina Renna, who was apparently shocked to hear her boss tell media on Dec. 13, 2013 that he had nothing to do with the famous GWB closure. “Are you listening? He just flat out lied about senior staff and (Bill) Stepien not being involved,” she texted Pete Sheridan, a Christie campaign aide. Sheridan replied Christie was “holding his own” during the news conference. But Renna kept going, to the glee of investigators. “Yes, but he lied,” and then added that if emails are made public, it will “be bad” for the governor. Later, she told lawmakers she “never thought the governor’s office had involvement with the lane closures.” Hmm. Christie’s response yesterday to the text messages? “It’s ridiculous. It’s nothing new. There’s nothing new to talk about.” OK…if you say so.

WALL – Great to see two kind-hearted police officers make national news for their compassion in a summer when cops have become such targets. So, let’s celebrate Patrolmen Frank Kuhl and Michael Tancredi, who drove 650 miles last week to return a family's beloved basset hound, Bella, to her owners in Myrtle Beach, S.C. The pooch ended up in New Jersey after one of its owners was hospitalized here on July 15, NJ Advance Media says. Bella’s other owner couldn’t make the trip to retrieve her, so she lived with Kuhl's family for two weeks before he and his partner drove her home. 

THE GREAT OUTDOORS – Like we don't have enough bugs? Now, the state is breeding and releasing tens of thousands of ravenous East Asian weevils. Apparently with good reason. These weevils are eating machines, chewing through invasive vines – called “mile-a-minute” or “Devil's-tail tear-thumb” – that grow six inches a day and are rapidly smothering plants, shrubs and trees, the Asbury Park Press reports. Bred at the state's “Beneficial Insect Rearing Laboratory,” 200,000 weevils were turned loose in 2007 at parks in Bergen and Hudson counties. They were fruitful and multiplied. More are now being freed in Warren and Passaic counties. A state entomologist (unofficial title: Bug Guy) reports these weevils “are doing very well … there's no place [with these invasive vines] that doesn’t have weevils now.” 

AT HOME – Don't let this bug you either, but you're living with more creepy-crawlers than you can believe. The average house, no matter how clean, is easily home to hundreds of species of spiders, beetles, ants, flies, gnats and other icky things. So say North Carolina State University scientists who conducted a “bug census” by crawling on their hands and knees in a bunch of homes armed with headlamps, magnifying glasses and tweezers. Houses in affluent neighborhoods – with big yards or near parks or woods – attract even more insect varieties. Entomologist (unofficial title: Bug Girl) Misha Leong tells the Los Angeles Times that most bugs we live with aren't disease-carriers or destructive, they're “just small, benign, quiet and respectable roommates.” Anybody else itchy now?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

CLOVIS, N.M. – Celebrating Mother’s Day has a whole new meaning for a local family, where the 36-year-old mom is dating her 19-year-old son. When you finish vomiting, read on… Ready? OK. Apparently, the blushing couple have “Genetic Sexual Attraction,” or “GSA” for those in the know, meaning they are absolutely ga-ga over each other – no matter how revolting. Says mom/girlfriend to son/boyfriend: “I’m sorry, I don’t know how you are going to react to this. I’m your mom and you’re my son, but I’m falling in love with you.'”  And the son/boyfriend’s reaction? “We were hanging out, just talking, and I looked at her and she looked at me and I kissed her. It was a real kiss — it had feelings behind it. There was a spark that [has] stayed ever since.”  Now, mom/girlfriend’s youngest son calls son/boyfriend/brother by a new name: “Dad.”

Oh, god, sorry! There is even more to this story. So, get this: a neighbor caught a whiff of the relationship in February, and felt such behavior is not appropriate for the high-brow clientele of their New Mexico trailer park. Cops charged the couple with incest, and told them, for god’s sake, to get a grip. But, at an April court hearing, it was learned they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, prompting arrests, tears and bail. The pair haven’t seen each other since, and mom has also been stripped of seeing any of her other children, cuz, y’know, just in case. Another gem of a quote from super mom: “If I had to choose between my son and all my other kids, I’d choose him.” The family goes back to court next month, with the couple looking at 18 months in jail. And, thankfully, no adjoining cells.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1993 that Oliver Stone files for divorce, likely on the grounds of an assumed “conspiracy.”

WORD OF THE DAY

Defalcation (dee-fal-KAY-shun) – noun

Definition: the act of embezzling

Example: With fewer news reporters keeping a close eye on government, what will stop the powers-that-be from defalcation?

WEATHER IN A WORD

Boom!