The Morning Briefing - June8, 2016
HACKENSACK - Just a week after Memorial Day, a World War II memorial is being evicted to make way for a housing development. CBS reports how the Submarine Memorial Foundation has existed on the Hackensack River since 1972, paying $1 a year in rent. But, now, the memorial that honors 52 sunken submarines that took 3,500 souls, has gotta go. The land is owned by the owner of the Bergen Record, who terminated the month-to-month arrangement on May 31, with plans for mixed-use redevelopment. As the region gears up for the construction of its 1,000th Panera Bread, the U.S. Navy is now trying to figure where to put its precious artifacts. The real trick is how to remove the USS Ling, a submarine stuck in the shallow waters of the Hackensack River.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - We may never know what terrific goodies Donald Trump offered Gov. Chris Christie for his unwavering blind support, but its getting tough to watch. On a day when the Republican leadership was rightfully slamming Trump for racist comments, in which he claimed a judge overseeing a class-action lawsuit against his defunct Trump University can't rule fairly because of his "Mexican heritage," there appeared to be only one vocal Trump defender: our governor. The Donald was just exercising his constitutional right to free speech, Christie explains, adding, "Those are Donald's opinions and he has a right to express them the same way anybody else has a right to express any of their views regarding how they're treated in the civil or criminal courts in this country. That's part of what free speech is all about." This is a sharp contrast to 2011, when Christie took heat for nominating Muslim Sohail Mohammed, an Indian immigrant, for a Superior Court judgeship. At that time, Christie said: "They are criticizing him because he is a Muslim American ... It's crazy. The guy's an American citizen ... It's just unnecessary to be accusing this guy of things just because of his religious background." Wow, has Christie changed. Again, there must be some really terrific goodies.
JERSEY CITY - The city's website is getting a gleaming $254,000 overhaul. Yep, you are reading that right. City officials are handing a quarter-million dollars to a Canadian web designer for the task. This Toronto firm has done website overhauls for such mighty megalopolises as Mebane, N.C., Elk Grove, Ca., LaPlata, Co., and Casper Wy., to name a just few. The Jersey Journal says city officials want a really "robust, informative and user-friendly site." For $150,000 this year and $26,000 annually for four more years, Jersey City should be getting the Rolls-Royce of websites. Jersey City officials want to hear your thoughts here.
LITTLE EGG HARBOR - Corruption claims keep bubbling up in this normally sleepy, 75-square-mile Ocean County town. It happened again last week when a routine Township Committee meeting went wonky as Deputy Mayor Dave Schlick declared he "found evidence" of shenanigans, The Sandpaper reports. Schlick cited an improper 1989 rezoning; "anonymous" tax complaints from "an elderly lady;" and tales of intimidation. Fellow committeemen blocked him and Mayor Gene Kobryn from hiring an independent attorney in May to ferret out the alleged misdeeds. Yet Schlick insists he's "on to something ... there absolutely is corruption, and when you see all the facts, the numbers don't lie. I will take this as far as I can." Bring back J. Edgar Hoover?
JERSEY CITY - Seems there's little wiggle room for the former executive director of a former Head Start program in Jersey City, who admitted yesterday to stealing $250,000 from programs to help poor children and use the money to buy a Maserati and a mink coat. Robert E. Mays pleaded guilty, N.J. Advance Media reports, after giving himself a 61 percent raise without board approval and then being fired for it. Then, it was learned he took extra money to buy the 2007 gray four-door Maserati Quattroporte and a "Bleached Whiskey Stroller Skin-On-Skin (Fendi Style) mink fur coat." He's looking at 20 years in jail when sentenced Sept. 20. Expect his cellmate to feel uneasy when Mays mentions "Bleached Whiskey Stroller Skin-On-Skin."
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CHACHOENGSAO, THAILAND - There are many great things about Thailand. And the flip side: 10-foot pythons in your toilet waiting to chomp down on your penis. Yahoo reports a Thai man is recovering after a python bit his penis while he was squatting on his toilet in a rural province east of Bangkok. The man told local media his toilet appeared empty when he casually peaked inside during last week's memorable incident. But, as he squatted, the snake rose from the bowl and bit him. The victim grabbed the serpent by the neck so it wouldn't pull him into the toilet. "At first I thought my penis was gone and already torn apart, because it was really very strong," he added. (The serpent, that is.) He was able to pry open the jaws, as his wife and neighbor rushed to the blood-splattered scene and put a plastic bag over the snake's head.
NEWBURGH, N.Y. - An irate, gun-wielding man overheard terrorizing people sent nearby office workers fleeing for safety and triggered a swift, armed response from a police SWAT team on Monday. Turns out the man's voice was just a loud audio recording, emanating from an upstate New York production company's studio, the Times Herald-Record reports. Cops set up a perimeter, blocked area traffic for hours, evacuated neighboring buildings and positioned snipers, all for a movie voice-over that was being edited. Two words of free advice: Soundproof studio.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1949 that George Orwell published his book 1984, telling the futuristic story of a totalitarian government and "Big Brother" bathing in complete power. In other, completely unrelated news, Donald Trump yesterday won the New Jersey primary.
WORD OF THE DAY
Ululate - verb
Definition: To howl or wail
Example: Will millions of American ululate when the next President is inaugurated?
WEATHER IN A WORD
Thunder.