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The Morning Briefing - May 31, 2016

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - Hillary Clinton is just going to take our money and run. After the Democratic frontrunner's huge East Brunswick fundraiser tonight, Mrs. Clinton makes one more Garden State campaign stop tomorrow at Rutgers Newark's athletic center. But, she canceled Thursday's West Windsor campaign event so she can skedaddle to California where Bernie Sanders is surging in the polls ahead of that state's delegate-rich primary. Cheap seats for tonight's fundraiser sold out at $250-a-pop. If you really, really, really must see Hillary and U.S. Sen. Cory Booker sing a Democratic duet together, preferred and premium seats will cost you $1,000 or $2,700, respectively. And, plunking down $10,000 gets you a private audience with Mrs. Clinton and perhaps a "free" photo (souvenir frame not included).  

STATEWIDE - Hoping not to be remembered as "Governor Gonja," Chris Christie still refuses to legalize marijuana even if the Garden State stands to lose $300 million in new revenue. New Jersey United for Marijuana Reform and N.J. Policy Perspective say a new federal study shows legalizing pot for recreational use would create a new $1.2 billion state industry, with 366,000 adults here already inhaling 158,000 pounds of pot each year. (Legally, that is.) Slap on a 25 percent state sales tax and that's $300 million in revenue, N.J. Advance Media reports. A spokesman for the marijuana reformers says Christie is "just one voice," and "he'll be out of office in 18 months." So, stock up now on Cheetos and Funyuns; you may not be able to find any once Democrats retake Drumthwacket. 

STATEWIDE - Animal abuse convictions should dog you the rest of your days. At least, that's Assemblyman Troy Singleton's hope. He just introduced a bill to create a digital database of New Jersey animal abusers. He told the Wall Street Journal the database - similar to the state's Megan's Law sex-offenders registry - would be set up by the state Health Department. Tennessee launched a similar site this year, while Massachusetts, New York and Pennsylvania are considering it. Gov. Chris Christie rejected a similar bill in 2014. Perhaps, he figures, such a law is a gateway to pot smoking.

DOWN THE SHORE - As people at the next beach blanket are already convinced you have no class, here's another way to disgust them: crack open a can of wine. Wait, what? That's right, coming to an Igloo® near you is wine in a can, which purveyors say tastes just as good as the corked stuff, created from the nurturing hands of Italian winemakers on the cool green hills. Canned wine doesn't offer the same aromas as vino in a glass, of course, but check out the tangible benefits: No need for a corkscrew, glass bottle or wine glasses that are impossible to clean. Also, the deal-clincher: a typical pour of wine is 150 milliliters; a can will get you up to 500 milliliters. And the rent-a-cops won't have a clue what you are enjoying on the beach, under that umbrella, behind those cool shades. So, bottom's up with this latest certified Morning Briefing summer recommendation. 

ATLANTIC CITY - For those who have been gripped by the fiscal crisis and impending doom of New Jersey's gaming resort, it looks as if all is well - for the moment. Gov. Chris Christie approved a "rescue package," following months of political arm wrestling in Trenton. Atlantic City gets $56.3 million in state subsidies for its $100 million hole, but needs to come up with the rest. The Press of Atlantic City says hard decisions are looming, like raising taxes, refinancing, laying off employees, dissolving the water authority and contracting out for services. You know, all the stuff that should have been done years ago. 

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS 

SOMERS, Conn. - Think you are a history buff? No really, think you are a serious history buff? Then, grab all those buffalo nickels stuck in the couch and head to Somers. That's where someone has constructed a freakishly perfect replica of Thomas Jefferson's Monticello, which goes on the auction block today. Of no surprise to most, this house built for $7.7 million has not sold since it was completed two years ago. The latest selling price is $4.9 million. Still steep; but if you can conquer like Washington, howl like Revere and write like Paine, maybe you can get this 10,000-square-foot Jeffersonian monument for a steal. Invite us over for the tea party. 

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

It was on this day in 1884 that Mama Kellogg was a wee bit disappointed when her son, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, didn't cure polio. But he did patent a flaked cereal that is still Grr-reat! 

WORD OF THE DAY 

Woebegone - wōbiˌɡôn,-ˌɡän - adjective 

Definition: Sad or miserable in appearance 

Example: After a three-day weekend, it was tough getting to work without the woebegone look. 

WEATHER IN A WORD 

Sandcastles!