The Morning Briefing - April 25, 2016
PATERSON – Hard to imagine working every day in a school for runny-nosed pre-kindergarteners, but taking home $300,000 would sure ease the burden of crying kids, Barney the Dinosaur and helicopter parents. Of course, it also raises lots of question when a preschool director earns more money than gets spent on paper, crayons and all other school supplies. State auditors are wondering why after reviewing federal tax reports and now they want his time sheets, the Paterson Press reports. So far, city school officials haven't asked even one question about the $106,772 paid to this director through the Paterson Public Schools or his extra “$196,546 in compensation from other funding sources.” Curious, huh?
WILDWOOD – The besieged hoverboard industry may be taking another hit, as Wildwood officials may ban them on the boardwalk. Why? Oh, just in case one catches fire and sets the town ablaze. Moreover, in a world when anyone can hire a legal team within two swipes of a smartphone, there’s concern about people falling and suing anyone who happens to possess an insurance policy within a quarter-mile radius.
MIDDLETOWN – Who says education can't be entertaining or fun? Well, apparently at least one touchy parent and some knee-jerk school officials here. They tried forcing a Middletown High School teacher to quit after he showed his students an HBO episode of “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver,” gloriously poking fun at Republican frontrunner Donald Trump. Teacher Joe Ventre initially quit, and other parents rose to Ventre's defense and stormed last week's school board meeting. Now, Superintendent William George 3rd told the Asbury Park Press that Ventre withdrew his resignation on Friday. “There is no action regarding this employee before the (school) board at this time." Be one of the 24 million viewers to see the apparently offensive clip.
STATEWIDE – With a new report showing that there are more than 65,000 children in New Jersey whose parents are in the slammer, you’d be quick to assume what a horrible, outrageous, something-must-be-done statistic. But, as NJ.com reports, that number is actually pretty darn good, when compared with the rest of the country. New Jersey has the proud distinction of having the smallest percentage of its child population separated from parents currently residing in prison. The state with the highest percentage? Honors go, with no surprise, to Kentucky.
TOMS RIVER – Is it open space preservation or a ruse to block more housing? That's a question the Asbury Park Press raised when the Township Council took steps to acquire 56 acres near its Lakewood boarder. The land is near where the town already banned overzealous real estate solicitors from trying to help Orthodox Jewish families find homes and property. Town Administrator Paul Shives says the two things are unrelated. Town officials wants to spend $10.5 million for the vacant land, using some Open Space Trust Fund cash and bonding for the rest. The council just might get an earful from its neighbors to the north about this purchase at a 6 p.m. public hearing Tuesday night.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MANSFIELD, Texas – A bored lawyer is targeting a local restaurant, threatening to sue the owner if he is not given the $2.25 soup that apparently came with his meal. The lawyer also wants $250 for the time it spent drafting his compelling legal brief in this titillating case, akin to Marbury v. Madison. Here are the facts: The Saturday special includes soup, but the restaurant ran out and offered no substitution or discount. The owner said the soup is only available “while supplies last,” but the lawyer believes some contract, somewhere, was violated. We say: The lawyer should get his soup, but the restaurateur can put whatever the heck he wants in it. Suggested title: “Muck Surprise.”
IN THE MEDIA
BERLIN, MD – Quoting a spectator who called himself “Jack Mehoff” unwittingly turned a news reporter into a news story. Jack Mehoff (pronounce every syllable … you'll get it) was the phony name that some teenage wise-ass gave to Baltimore Sun reporter Ian Duncan for an article about a Donald Trump high school rally. The story set off a Twittersphere tizzy before it was changed. Every so often, these things happen. USA Today fell victim in 2013 to a guy claiming to be “Howie Felterbush,” and someone else using “Jack Mehoff” ended up on the air in a 2014 Australian TV interview. Tip for young reporters: Not everyone claiming to be Iona Lincoln, or Dick Hertz, or Howie Doohan is who they say they are. Skeptical? Ask for ID.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
If you always wished you were that brilliant person who invented the thimble, you had to get a really, really early start, as some genius secured the patent on this day in 1684. Let’s assume Mr. & Mrs. Thimble.
WORD OF THE DAY
Brobdingnagian (brob-ding-NAG-ee-an) - adjective
Definition: Immense; enormous.
Example: I have a brobdingnagian appetite, but I can’t figure out how to pronounce it.