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The Morning Briefing - March 1, 2016

TRENTON – Gov. Chris Christie says he is “indebted” to the people of New Jersey, who gave him the opportunity to run for President. Speaking on behalf of the 8.8 million people, we don’t recall being asked, but appreciate the gesture. Christie, on 101.5 last night, also downplayed the whole President thing, saying “it was never what our whole life was about and it's not what I wanted to do my entire life.” Right, just the next eight years.

TRENTON – Likely, the biggest news of March could be the looming NJ Transit strike. Gov. Chris Christie says there are “intense negotiations” in an effort to avert a painful, maddening strike by the middle of the month. The governor is calling union demands “outrageous,” as the argument centers on two huge line items: health insurance and salary hikes. Says the governor: “There’s no magic money tree we take the money off of. It’s going to come from fares and from taxes.” Might be a good time to buy a bike.

PATERSON – In writing about this city's financial messes, we could focus on how the schools need to slash $45 million, to the fury of parents and teachers. But there's an even worse story: Hundreds of city workers are sitting home this morning in their bunny pajamas, as the city doesn’t have enough money to pay these “non-essential” employees. Because of an ongoing budget showdown between the mayor and City Council, the shutdown affects school crossing guards, street-cleaning, after-school recreation programs and senior citizen services, the Paterson Press reports. Employees can call a hotline tonight to see if the city figured out how to pay them for work tomorrow. On the upside: Paterson will save $225,000 today in wages.

RINGWOOD – From our “Was it really worth the trouble?” file: A 36-year-old hunter illegally killed a black bear in Passaic County after the 2012 hunting season ended, then took its head and hide to a Pennsylvania taxidermist. After New Jersey authorities were alerted, they called the hunter to ask when and where he'd shot it. The borough man finally admitted he drove what was left of the 450-pound bear's carcass to New York's Sterling State Forest, where it was still okay to hunt, to stage a fake kill-site for state Fish and Wildlife officers, the Record reports. A federal judge gave the man three year’s probation, ordered him to pay a $5,000 fine and make a $1,250 donation to a wildlife refuge. Worst of all, he can't keep his stuffed bear.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

IN HEAVEN - Abe Vigoda – of “Godfather” fame – spent the past 30 years trying to convince America that he was still alive. So, when he finally died in January at age 94, you would think the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences would take note. But watching the Oscars on Sunday, we were shocked to see he was not mentioned in the “In Memoriam” package. Perhaps the Academy figured Abe had been memorialized enough since the 1980s. 

MOUNT HEALTHY, OHIO – A bald “serial thief” has stolen $4,750 worth of hair growth products from several Walgreens drug stores here and another Cincinnati suburb. Police don't think he's actually using them, but has a hair-brained scheme to sell them online or at area flea markets. So far, baldy has made off with dozens of bottles of Rogaine pills and foam and bottles of Prevagen memory supplements and prostate vitamins. One detective told WCPO-TV that police are “scratching our heads at this.”

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – It is Super Tuesday; and voters in one dozen states will likely give Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump the path to the party nominations for President. New Jersey, which doesn’t have its primary until June, will ask: Will the national GOP vote for crazy? Michael Bloomberg will be watching…

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1912 that Captain Albert Berry made the first parachute jump from a moving airplane. (…As opposed to a non-moving airplane?)

WORD OF THE DAY

Botryoidal (BOT-ree-oid-el) — adjective

Definition: Shaped like a bunch of grapes.

Example: Telling my wife that her new hairdo is perfectly botryoidal is not a compliment, I recently learned.