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The Morning Briefing - January 29, 2016

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Gov. Chris Christie stuck to the poll-tested script last night during the Trump-less debate, once again positioning himself as the out-of-the-Beltway crusader running on his record of glorious, indisputable success. In Christie-world, New Jersey is now thriving under his solid, “battle-tested” Conservative leadership, as he has whipped the wild-eyed, free-spending Democrats into submission. America needs Christie to put an end to Hillary Clinton and her crazy liberal agenda that will raise your taxes and make America even weaker – after eight years of the bumbling Obama disaster that has mutilated the Stars and Stripes. “Stop the Washington bull and let’s get things done!” Christie cried, to any Iowa voters who might be listening.

BOUND BROOK — A library book – overdue by an astounding 71 years – may finally go back into circulation. At age 13, former Mayor Frank “Boxer” Ryan borrowed “Football Through the Years,” from the borough's Memorial Library, but did not return it by its due date: June 8, 1944. Ryan, now 84, told the Courier News his daughter Karen recently unearthed the long-forgotten volume in his attic. Ryan, a former high school football quarterback and Navy veteran, served two-terms as mayor until 2008. For anyone doing the math, at 2-cents per day (the 1940s going rate for overdue library books), Ryan would owe a $518.88 fine today, beating the current Guinness World Record of $345.14. See the video here

RUNNEMEDE — Breaking the “chain-of-command” apparently irked two top officials in this postage stamp-size borough. They slapped crossing guard Gina Bowne with a two-day suspension. Why? She tried to prevent school kids from getting hurt on snow-clogged crosswalks. Bowne went wrong when she texted Mayor Nick Kappatos about the crosswalks this week, instead of calling a police sergeant who was off-duty. Bowne told ABC-6 Eyewitness News in Philly: “My first thought was kids' safety. I contacted who I thought would get it done fastest.” The mayor forwarded Bowne's text to public works crews and to Police Chief Paul Dailey, who suspended her for insubordination. Upset parents, who support Bowne, say they will be gunning for the mayor and chief at next week's borough council meeting – if they can pass through those snow-clogged crosswalks.

TRENTON – Politico unearthed an interesting tidbit: The assemblyman with the most laws passed in the last legislative session isn’t a power broker or entrenched lawmaker who knows every deep, dark corner of the Statehouse. The go-to guy is a little-known, 29-year-old newbie from Cape May County who managed to get his name on 64 bills the governor signed into law. Republicans quickly dismissed Democrat, Assemblyman Bob Andrzejczak's work, saying he was intentionally made prime sponsor on bills that would easily zip through. Why? Because Andrzejczak faced a hot contest for his seat last November and needed a successful track record. The Assemblyman isn’t talking about it, Politico notes, and also says he rarely speaks during chamber votes. Still, you can’t quibble with success, uh, right?

JERSEY CITY – The race to the top continues at Wall Street West, as workers begin construction of what will become the state's tallest building. We were all wowed when the 781-foot-tall Goldman Sachs tower was constructed in 2004 and easily visible from Atlantic Highlands. But, it's going to stand in the shadow of a 79-story tower further down Hudson Street, stretching 900 feet into the air and featuring 781 condos. The tower is to be completed in 2018 – likely around the time developers break ground on other skyscrapers that may scoff at these itty-bitty buildings.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

LONDON – The Brits have busted a suspected thief with 38 mobile phones stuffed down his trousers. West Midlands Police claim this bugger stole the things at a rock concert. Blimey. Any good barrister worth his salt can convince some wig-wearing magistrate that the phones were obviously planted by some lousy bloke, right Guv'nor?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1847 that the town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. After all, who wants to leave their heart in Yerba Buena?

WORD OF THE DAY

Porphyrophobia (por-fi-ROH-foh-bee-ah) - noun

Definition: Fear of the color purple.

Example: I like Oprah Winfrey very much, but I could never watch that movie because of my porphyrophobia.