The Morning Briefing - January 25, 2016
STATEWIDE - Parents throughout New Jersey are now on the third Mimosa of the morning, dealing with a snow day after spending two solids days with their lovely cherubs at home. Sure, the snowman was breathtaking, the 14 servings of hot chocolate were delicious and the sledding was memorable. But with ever-growing piles of wet socks, jackets, scarves and mittens piled by the doors, and the kids whining to continue the "Uno" marathon into the 60th consecutive hour, many must wonder why so many school districts didn't opt for a delayed opening. The big winner: Kraft® Macaroni & Cheese.
BAY HEAD - Our governor just couldn't resist lobbing a few political snowballs during the storm. After Gov. Chris Christie made a last-minute comeback to skipper New Jersey through a blinding snow, flooding and widespread power outages, he thought it was fine time to attack Bay Head's oceanfront homeowners. Christie called them "selfish" for not giving easements so the state might build new dunes, and he condemned Point Pleasant Beach and Margate for opposing beach replenishment. A spokesman for the Bay Head property owners stopped snow-blowing just long enough to accuse Christie of playing political shenanigans during an emergency and to accuse Christie of not offering solutions to real nor'easter flooding threats that blow from the Barnegat Bay, not the ocean.
STATEWIDE - Sure, Gov. Chris Christie graduated from the University of Delaware. There's really nothing we can do about that. But one must question why the New Jersey governor selected to wear a fleece from an out-of-state school when he knew he would be on the airwaves this weekend, talking about the storm. Last week, the governor approved a $25 million tax break for Rutgers to upgrade its athletic facilities, a huge investment for the cash-strapped state. So, because Christie represents New Jersey, he just approved a wheelbarrow of cash for the state university and his poll numbers among New Jerseyans are south of stellar, perhaps wearing a fleece emblazoned with a red "R" would be bit more applicable for the morning news cameras.
TOMS RIVER - Living in desirable neighborhoods is great until pesky real estate agents start interrupting Jeopardy every night, ringing doorbells with quick sales offers. Door-to-door sales pitches are so out of control in some Toms River neighborhoods that the Township Committee may soon create "cease and desist" zones to put five-year bans with stiff penalties on real estate solicitations, the Asbury Park Press says. More than 75 homeowners at a public hearing last week said overzealous salespeople from various agencies drive up and down streets photographing homes, then return later to canvass those houses. If a ban happens, don't fret, Jehovah Witnesses, Amway dealers and Girl Scouts all get a free pass.
CHATHAM - Handing M4 assault rifles to this town's 19 cops is drawing fire from residents who told the Township Committee that "weapons of war are inconsistent" with this affluent 9-square-mile leafy hamlet. One homeowner called Mayor Curt Ritter's plan "dangerous, unnecessary and misguided," the Chatham Courier says. Using a grant to buy heavy-duty firepower topped the mayor's 2016 to-do list, saying he wants his police force to have "a tactical advantage" in any emergency. So far, the mayor is sticking to his guns. You just never know when ISIS might roll through town en route to the Mall at Short Hills, in search of a Bentley.
NEWARK - As residents grouse about the plow job in Newark, the city is bringing in the big guns to shovel sidewalks. The Sanitation Department is handing out free "snow removal equipment" (probably plastic snow shovels?) this morning to able-bodied store merchants and business owners. Mayor Ras Baraka calls this a "unique public-private partnership." Sounds more like an easy way to get piles of snow off sidewalks without blowing the city's overtime budget. Really, who needs the sanitation workers to shovel snow when you have all those downtown wig salespeople doing the heavy lift? Snow joke.
IN THE MEDIA
NORTH CALDWELL - Kids of West Essex High School took to Twitter yesterday after NJ Advanced Media had a Steve Harvey moment, announcing the school had a snow day before checking resources and then making an uncomfortable correction. Despite the reporter's repeated apologies, several students were unmoved, saying this interrupted their midterm studies. "It's too late to apologize. It's too late," wrote one disgruntled student. "Do your job!" wrote another. "I broke my Chromebook because of this," wrote another. Silver lining: Kids are reading NJ Advanced Media.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
DETROIT - Move over satin and lace. The latest fashion is all about gowns made from the fake leather of car interior. At least that is what Inteva Products LLC wants us to think, as it unveiled some dresses made out of the same material as the dashboard of General Motors Co. vehicles. The results were on display during a fashion show at the North American International Auto Show in Detroit. Unclear if this new material will catch on, but at least you can now clean your fanciest dress with a rag, Turtle Wax and some spit.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1908 that the first Boy Scout troop was organized by Robert Baden-Powell in England, ending the worldwide drought for decorative boxes made of Popsicle sticks.
WORD OF THE DAY
Kakistocracy (kak-i-STOK-rah-see) - noun
Definition: Government administered by the worst or least qualified citizens.
Example: Many rightfully fear the Presidential election of 2016 will lead to a kakistocracy in America.