The Morning Briefing - January 27, 2015

** SPECIAL WEATHER BULLETIN ** 

STATEWIDE - If things happened the way the weathermen said, we would be hunkered down in our basements this morning, wrapped in blankets, with generators powering the one dangling light bulb, as we wrote about the three feet of snow that buried the state. Milk, bread and eggs would be quickly consumed at an alarming rate, as we wished we spent another hour in the supermarket yesterday battling senior citizens for that last stick of margarine. But, alas, we awoke to a few inches of snow, and plenty of egg on the face of the local weatherman and his awful shirt-tie combo. 

STATEWIDE - This morning, it is all about unraveling the storm plans for the blizzard that never was, as the storm blew east. NJ Transit has to fire back up its service this afternoon, bridges and roads have to re-open and all those extra snowplows and salt spreaders had to be tucked back to wherever they go. Certainly, the state saved a bucket of cash in emergency snow removal costs, but preparation for a fake blizzard must have been a heckuva expense. The big losers in all this: the snowplow guys eagerly anticipating some gouging. 

NEW YORK - Enough of this! That's the message this morning from New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who said the state will be investing in its own weather detection systems, rather than rely on these friggin' meteorologists. Cuomo said he relied on the weatherman a few weeks ago, who failed to mention that seven feet of snow was going to dump on Buffalo. This time, Cuomo took no chances, closing roads while transporting plenty of emergency vehicles from upstate to respond to the anticipated blizzard in the NYC area. Cuomo said the state will be tripling the number of weather detection systems in the state. Sure, it will be a huge investment, but better than listening to the likes of "Mr. G." 

STATEWIDE - Unapologetic weathermen managed to show their faces on the airwaves this morning, hyping up all those "whipping" and "howling" winds, and those "slippery" conditions. They warn it will be "real cold" - likely because it is January - but admit, a little under their breath, about the "marked improvement" in the weather this afternoon.

MOUNT HOLLY - One weather guy is diving on the sword for the entire industry. Gary Szatkowski, with the National Weather Service, apologized, via Twitter, to anyone affected by the hype, saying that tough decisions were made based on inaccurate forecasts: "You made a lot of tough decisions expecting us to get it right, and we didn't." While we appreciate Szatkowski's humility, he may want to re-think taking the heat for shoddy forecasting, because, you know, everyone needs a scapegoat... and there's going to be a next time. 

IN THE MEDIA

Expect Anderson Cooper of CNN to be on his fourth Bloody Mary this morning, forced to stand on the streets of New York last night and talk about all this snow that was about to pound the area. As there was not a snowflake to report, he was forced to talk about how damn cold it is standing out on a Manhattan street. There were CNN reporters stationed in Montauk and Asbury Park in full CNN gear, reporting LIVE from the front end of the storm, as locals wandered by and didn't seem particularly concerned by the strong winds - which, as 3 year olds can attest, is pretty common by the ocean. Cooper did the best he could, but he was tough to justify universal travel bans with a straight face. 

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

It was this day in, er, 2015 that our office was closed and everyone worked from home because some clowns on TV said we should expect two feet of snow in Newark.