The Morning Briefing - January 23, 2015
TRENTON — No one is losing sleep over the fact that Gov. Chris Christie has more than $800,000 in campaign debt from his 2013 campaign, as the guy has the uncanny ability to raise millions of dollars whenever needed. As chair of the Republican Governors Association, Christie raked in $102 million, which we assume has to be some sort of record. But, still, law firm Patton Boggs likely wants to know when it can expect its $505,555, while law firm Stroz Friedberg wouldn’t mind cashing a check for $295,553, the amount owed. NJ.com says the legal fees were racked up following BridgeGate. Good news: we assumed taxpayers were on the hook for all of this.
TRENTON – The rubber will hit the road on July 1, when the state’s Transportation Trust Fund is expected to go belly-up, with work set to stop on most road and bridge projects. State transportation officials say the time is now to address the state’s crumbling infrastructure, the sad shape of all these bridges and roads and establish a permanent fix to the situation. Two words here: Gas Tax.
STATEWIDE – With New Jersey sandwiched between Philadelphia and New York, the state should be a haven for well-paying jobs. But the odd disconnect plods past the Great Recession, as economic recovery is still at a snail’s crawl. Sure, Gov. Chris Christie paints a very different picture on the stump, as he barnstorms across America. (Remember “The Jersey Comeback”?) But the Record reports the state only added 29,000 jobs in 2014, with employment lower than it was 14 years ago. Last month, America added 252,000 jobs, while the state lost 400 of them. Yes, New Jersey is dealing with the implosion of Atlantic City. But with all the assets we have here, why are we still more deflated than a Patriot football? (Sorry, that had to go somewhere.)
LACEY – It is a bad day to be a South Jersey fish, as 5,000 of them have died – to date – in a discharge channel at the Oyster Creek Generating Station. The Asbury Park Press says the fish are either attracted to the warm waters or are hiding from a predator. In either case, it isn’t good. State officials say the fish will die if they pull them from the water, push them into the cold Barnegat Bay or if they remain in the discharge channel. So, there’s nothing to really do. How deflating. (Sorry, again.)
CAMDEN - A bevy of outraged, fresh-bread advocates are taking to the courts, claiming Whole Foods and Wegmans have engaged in "deceptive, false, misleading, fraudulent and unconscionable commercial practices" in the sale and marking of bakery products. According to NJ.com, the suit, filed in Camden County Superior Court, claims that shoppers were misled while store bread was actually frozen, pre-baked, frozen, or half-baked. First, Deflategate. Now, Breadgate.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
WIGAN, ENGLAND – And speaking of rising to the occasion, a local mailbox is apparently the first sex assault victim of its kind, as a drunken local man has been found guilty of having sex with it. It was all part of a drunken sex spree of sorts, the Mirror reports, as the man began by masturbating in a shopping arcade before making “sexual advances” at the innocent, unknowing mailbox. We will omit the next few details, but will note he kept yelling “Wow!” - until, er, completion. Afterward, the man began swinging from a lamppost. Cops found him exposed in front of another store, shouting and swearing at them. The man’s attorney notes: “Clearly there are some issues that need to be addressed.” (Note: No reference to "deflation.")
HOUSTON – Under the category of “Duh,” two guys who apparently stole an iPad were nabbed when they used the device to take selfies. Pretty funny – ha-ha. But they didn’t know the photos would be instantly uploaded to the owner’s iCloud account. The photo shows the grinning men, with the cash they also stole from the victim, KHOU-TV reports. The victim was more than pleased to show the images to the media. And it didn’t take long for the cops to arrive.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1916 that an extra blanket would have been handy, as the temperature in Browning, Montana somehow drops 96 degrees overnight – from a balmy 44 degrees to a chilly minus 56 degrees.