The Morning Briefing - January 5, 2015
IN THE SLAMMER – Never ones to sit through “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” not many tears are being shed on this page as reality star Teresa Giudice is hauled off to federal prison today – perhaps with only a few pounds of makeup caked on her face. She’ll be serving 15 months on bankruptcy fraud and some other convictions, raising the prominence of this B-level “celebrity” to the Hall of Fame of convicted sub-celebrities. (See Martha Stewart).
DALLAS – Gov. Chris Christie continues to thumb his nose at Jersey football fans, prominently showering Cowboys owner Jerry Jones with a hug in the glorious owners box last night as the Cowboys defeated the Lions in a nail-biter. Eagles and Giants fans continue to simmer, eager to seek revenge when the governor’s name appears on another ballot – as politicians apparently should be gauged not on leadership, but which team they unabashedly root for.
ON THE RAILS – You need to really question the judgment of the Port Authority where the brain trust thinks that eliminating overnight service would be a “minor” inconvenience for the countless late-night drunks who rely on a relatively cheap 24-hour rail line from Manhattan. It’s part of a grand scheme to raise more money for the PATH. Feel free to plaster as many more ads as you can on these trains to make money, just don’t mess with the overnight service. Politicians on all levels are equally aghast, holding a press conference 2 p.m. today at the Grove Street station to tell the Port Authority to back the heck off.
FORT LEE – McDonald’s will be lovin’ it, as local, county and state politicians descend on a franchise in Fort Lee today, as it celebrates the franchise’s “Top 10” ranking in “overall customer satisfaction” among the chain’s U.S. restaurants. While McDonald’s will be sure to claim this is actually a serious, well-earned distinction – and not another orchestrated PR gimmick – there’s more puffery here than the glossy two-page magazine spread of a Big Mac that no one has ever seen or tasted.
IN THE MEDIA
ATLANTIC CITY – In a year-end interview with Mayor Don Guardian, the Associated Press attempted to read between the lines and report it believes the mayor thinks Bally’s will close this year. That’s based partly on a comment from the parent company, Caesars Entertainment, making an obvious statement in October that “We need to make money there.” There’s not much more to go on here, but now – suddenly – the odds on the next empire to fall have shifted from Trump Taj Mahal to Bally’s.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CREVE COEUR, Mo. – It was a car accident 51 years ago, but all the memories rushed back for a fellow named Arthur Lampitt. The St. Louis Post Dispatch reports that doctors finally removed a seven-inch turn signal that had been lodged into his left arm, undetected and forgotten. Doctors at the time were focused on his broken hip, and somehow did not seem to notice the turn signal. (Luckily, let’s assume those doctors are no longer practicing.) A few weeks ago, Lampitt’s arm began to hurt and swell. “We see all kinds of foreign objects like nails or pellets, but usually not this large, usually not a turn signal from a 1963 T-Bird,” doctors said. Lampitt isn’t sure what he'll now do with the lever - maybe use it as a key chain.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1971 it was no longer a slam dunk, as the hapless “New Jersey Reds” – losers of 2,495 consecutive basketball games – somehow defeated the Harlem Globetrotters 100-99 at the buzzer.
A New Year’s Gift to You
First day back to work for many of us in 2015, and that means a need for some inspiration. Click here to get your game on for a great new year.