The Morning Briefing - December 16, 2015
ATLANTIC CITY - Sure, such quality beers as Meister Brau, Piels or Schlitz may make you a bit woozy - and not in a good way. But a retired cop says one swig of another beer at McCormick and Schmick's left him with searing pain, vomiting blood and hospitalized for a week, Philly.com reports. His lawsuit says the beer contained a corrosive cleaner, burning away his stomach lining, perhaps from when the beer distributor cleaned the lines. The restaurant isn't talking. Perhaps next time the cop will order a Pabst Blue Ribbon and just deal with other consequences.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - Fear. Fear. Fear. These were the three key strategies the Republicans used during last night's CNN debate to score points among party faithful. Gov. Chris Christie reminded everyone, again, that he was a federal prosecutor and that no one in America is safe. No one at all. Because if terrorists can hit San Bernardino and if bomb threats can shut down the Los Angeles schools, then no one is safe. Not you. Not your loved ones. Not your dog. Not anyone. The terrorists are coming. Run. Hide. And, for the sake of America, Vote Christie. He will keep us safe.
WAYNE - After being arrested and charged with stealing $600 in clothes from the Willowbrook Mall on Friday, the suspect wasn't finished. The Record reports he was hauled off to the Wayne police station for processing. Cops later checked surveillance video, surprised to see him stealing $60 worth of toys from the Toys for Tots drop-off box, run by the Marines and used to help needy kids. We usually don't identify suspects by name. But in this case? Starobens Louis, 22, of Irvington.
MONROE - An era definitely draws to a close in Middlesex County on New Year's Day as Richard Pucci, one of its longest-serving Democrats, retires as head of the Middlesex County Improvement Authority, the same day he ends his 28-year run as mayor of Monroe. The Home News-Tribune credits Pucci, 69, the MCIA's executive director since its creation in 1991, with building a $65 million agency with more than 600 employees.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ROCHESTER, IOWA - Reporters race to the news. But an Iowa TV reporter had it unfold right in his face. The reporter for KIMT-TV in Mason City was reporting live from a bank that was just robbed on Tuesday, when a bank employee ran out and pointed out the robbery suspect. Reporter Adam Sallet broke away from the report, saying, "I have to go. I have to call 911." Cops busted the suspect just south of Minneapolis. See it here.
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - Now that you need a close relationship with Pope Francis or President Obama to land a job with benefits and a pension, it's time to look elsewhere. NASA suggests you fill out an application to be an astronaut, a job that pays $80K-$145K. All you need to do is be a U.S. citizen willing to move to Houston and have a measly bachelor's in science, math or engineering. Competition, of course, is stiff. Out of 6,000 hopefuls who applied in 2013, only eight got picked as trainees. But it sure makes for a terrific pick-up line: "NASA thinks I may have the right stuff...What about you?"
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1809 that Napoleon Bonaparte was divorced from the Empress Josephine by an act of the French Senate. That's probably why every fleabag motel - home to hopelessly broke divorcees - is aptly called "The Napoleon."
WORD OF THE DAY
Flapdoodle (FLAP-dood-el) noun
Definition: foolish talk; nonsense
Example: There was plenty of flapdoodle at last night's CNN Presidential....(nah, this is too easy).