The Morning Briefing - November 17, 2015
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – It’s not the best time to be a Syrian orphan under the age of 5, as Gov. Chris Christie doesn’t think America should be admitting desperate refugees of any age. That’s because he doesn’t trust President Obama to properly vet them to “protect the safety and security of the American people.” Perhaps there’s an assumption the Administration would intentionally set up youth terrorist cells in the backyards of Mendham homes.
MADISON – We all hear about people getting honorary degrees to universities, with some distinguished pieces of paper presented before applauding, wide-eyed graduates and misty-eyed spouses. But what happens when the school wants the degree back? Drew University is facing the quandary, voting to rescind the 2002 degree it handed to Bill Cosby for many obvious reasons. What’s the protocol here? Do you ask the former honorary graduate to drop the defunct degree in the mail? Or suggest he or she shred it? Or perhaps just send a terse email declaring it is officially “null and void?” We won’t expect Cosby to chime in.
ATLANTIC CITY – Grab your elastic pants and dancing shoes; it is time again for the annual League of Municipalities conference. There’s a full schedule of open bars and food from 5 p.m. until whenever, as 18,000 people flock to the 100th annual event specifically for “educational purposes” and “professional advancement.”
RED BANK – In our latest edition of “every vote counts, dammit,” the battle for the Red Bank Borough Council rages on. The Asbury Park Press says there will be a recount to see if a 24-year-old newcomer managed to knock off an incumbent. A judge is granting Councilman Michael DuPont the recount, after losing by two votes. Officials will be analyzing hanging chads at 10 a.m. on Friday.
CHESTER – Jim Breuer, the comedian and rabid Mets fan, has ended up in a very public battle with a former friend and pizzeria owner. The Daily Record reports the so-called Pizza Man posted personal information about Breuer and his family on YouTube, as well as filing a false police report against Breuer and mailing him a box of condoms. He called Breuer a drug abuser and referenced the comedian’s daughters. Apparently these former friends had a breakup in 2009, when Breuer was a guest on the Opie & Anthony talk radio show and called the Pizza Man “a bag of rocks,” as horns were blown on air to convey the sounds of boats carrying immigrants to America, the newspaper reports. Pizza Man is looking at five years of probation, psychological therapy, anger management and forfeiture of any guns.
CHERRY HILL – The Cherry Hill Mall skirted a PR disaster, as it originally attempted to charge holiday revelers at least $35 to sit on Santa’s lap. It was all part of a mandatory photo package that people would be stuck with. But, as the backlash mounted and the Philadelphia Inquirer caught whiff of the growing story, the mall operator quickly decided the photo package should once again be “optional” and kids can keep visiting Santa free of charge. So, we encourage all to explore what has been marketed as an “interactive journey for families to enjoy this holiday season,” with the exciting array of (optional) photo packages.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SOMERSET, Pa. – It takes something special to get busted twice within an hour for drunken driving. So, kudos to a Somerset woman who crashed her car about 5 p.m. Saturday. She was promptly arrested, charged with drunken driving and then released back into the wild. While most would head home to sleep it off, police say, this woman paid a stranger $3 to drive her back to her crashed car. Still plastered, she lost control of her mangled car, again, and sideswiped a parked car and slammed into a garage – an hour after she was first arrested. Cops were back on the scene to record the carnage.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1913 that Kaiser Wilhelm banned the German armed forces from dancing the tango. No word on the cross-dressing salsa, though.
WORD OF THE DAY
Lucubrate – (loo-KYOO-brate) – verb
Definition: to study diligently
Example: Wanna stop by my dorm room later…to, um, lucubrate?