The Morning Briefing - October 7, 2015

DEAL – What’s the deal with town officials pushing for resident-only parking – just after the feds dropped $40 million to expand the beaches? Unclear how officials in this wealthy seaside hamlet think they could block parking on six streets near these glorious, newly replenished beaches. Following some online outcry, Deal officials tabled their ordinance. But it has fueled this age-old debate between the government and local town officials, consistently looking for ways to limit public access to a public entity.

RIVER EDGE – The new convenience store may need to have a huge asterisk after “convenience,” as town officials say the 7-Eleven can’t be open overnight. The Record reports that 500 people signed a petition, expressing deep concern about “those” people who absolutely need to purchase lottery tickets and overcooked hotdogs at 4 a.m. Residents are also worried about noise pollution – apparently the incessant slurping noise from an extra-large cherry Slurpee™.

FANWOOD - How does a town that has no bars serving alcohol possibly rank among the "Top 100 Drunkest Towns in New Jersey"? TAPinto.net reports the borough  has not had a restaurant serving liquor in operation since February, yet was listed as No. 94 by Roadsnacks.net. This website manipulates data to create bite-sized snacks of shareable information about places across the country. The website claims that it tries to paint a picture of what’s happening in a region based on what it calls 'Friday Night Science' -- in other words, how you would argue with other drunks at  a bar. Translation: wildly inaccurate. Read more here .  

NEW BRUNSWICK – Rutgers University and some school in Princeton have been named among the Top 100 universities in the world, according to the latest U.S. News and World Report. Rutgers came in at a very impressive 60th, among 750 universities in 60 countries, based on academic research, global and regional reputations and quality of faculty and Ph.D. graduates.(That school in Princeton came in at 13th, or whatever.)

NEW BRUNSWICK – Somehow, it is front-page news that Rutgers has hired lawyers to give the football program a top-down review. It is pretty common to bring in the lawyers when there are possible NCAA infractions, as universities need to show the program is clean. That story is competing for space with news that a judge has dropped a simple assault charge against star receiver Leonte Carroo. It’s not fun for the media to report; but it looks like RU is righting the ship.

NEPTUNE – The Motor Vehicle Commission is not exactly known for its heart-warming compassion. The latest example is the woman who is undergoing chemotherapy, enraged that the agency is requiring her to take a new photo, as opposed to using the one showing her with long, blonde hair. The MVC tells the Asbury Park Press that the rules are the rules, requiring a new photo every eight years for security purposes, no matter what. Yep, rules are the rules, such as the rule requiring MVC employees to be thoroughly disinterested in your genius idea for a new vanity plate.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ON THE TABLE – There could be an epic battle for that last piece of pumpkin pie, as there are widespread reports of a pumpkin shortage this fall for that canned pumpkin goo. No worries for Halloween, where the pumpkin volumes are deemed adequate. But crop producers urge you to buy the canned pumpkins now, as opposed to waiting until the days before Thanksgiving. You have been warned, folks.

IN THE MEDIA

Jersey guy Steve Kornacki, who got his start with PoliticsNJ, is rising up the ranks at MSNBC. He will leave his weekend gig with "Up with Steve Kornacki" to serve as a back-up weekday anchor and political reporter.  He will sit in for political director Chuck Todd, who is also the "Meet the Press" moderator. Kornacki is moving closer and closer to the holy grail of national political reporting. We salute the ascension.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

The gods of golf were behind Robert Mitera on this day in 1965, when a 50 mph wind suddenly blew through the course, taking his ball 447 yards into the world’s longest hole in one, at “Miracle Hills,” in Omaha, Nebraska.

It is “You Matter to Me” Day… So, thank you, Morning Briefing readers!

WORD OF THE DAY

Piggesnye - noun

Definition: Chaucer coined this term, from the phrase “pig’s eye,” referring to someone’s sweetheart.

Example: Perhaps you should not use the term “piggesnye” when writing that next love letter.