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The Morning Briefing - August 19, 2015

MOUNT LAUREL –No longer do students at Burlington County College have to quietly mutter that they attend a local community college with open admissions. Now, they can proudly say they attend “Rowan College at Burlington County,” the glossy new name for the two-year school. What a great deal for these students, who can then earn automatic admission to Rowan University and earn a bachelor’s for just $30,000 or so, NJ.com reports. Unclear how this all impacts the university, as it strives to recruit the best and brightest image-conscious students who want to attend a “selective” school. But this certainly erases the stigma of the two-year school. Go Rowan College!

TRENTON – The gunman had the perfect alibi: he can’t use his arms. So prosecutors finally dropped gun possession charges against a Salem man who was in a car with three others when cops found a stolen gun. The Trentonian reports the man spent four months in prison before his lawyer was able to convince everyone that he has a spinal injury that prevents him from using his arms. Moreover, he may have ALS. Finally, the pendulum of justice swung his way.

HOBOKEN – Just a couple of generations ago, a “bike-share” in Hoboken meant some beefy guy just took your bike and you’ll never get it back. But today, city officials are unveiling a “next-generation” bike-share program in which there will be 250 bikes available at 29 stations throughout the city, featuring such gizmos as GPS and other communications equipment. Try stealing one of these babies.

NEWARK – The New York Times is out with a glowing book review on the widely anticipated, tell-all book about attempted reform in the Newark Public Schools, titled “The Prize,” and painfully researched over the past few years by Dale Russakoff. The story is about the infamous $100 million Facebook gift, courtesy of Mark Zuckerberg, with matching grants fueled by Then-Mayor Cory Booker and Gov. Chris Christie.

An excerpt of the review: “Their five-year plan gets off to a rocky start. Initial funds go to a bevy of consultants, most of them white, most of them well connected, some of whom are getting paid $1,000 a day. One educator labels them the ‘school failure industry.’ Moreover, it quickly becomes apparent that this is a top-down effort, with politicians and the well-to-do setting the agenda. When Booker sets up a local foundation to handle Zuckerberg’s gift, the seats on the board go only to donors of at least $5 million. You can begin to see where this story’s headed. Booker shows more interest in his own political career than he does in running his city. Christie hires an ideologue as his point person on the Newark schools. And Zuckerberg, a newcomer to philanthropy, seems frustrated by the inability to negotiate a union contract that would quickly raise the salaries of promising young teachers and pay substantial merit bonuses for high performers.”

Read the review here.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

CATONSVILLE, Md. – If the chair is rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’. Two centenarians celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary in style yesterday at the Charlestown Retirement Community, where the sugar-free Jell-O was shimmying and shaking. They couple recalled the big day on Aug. 18, 1940 that they got hitched. Or maybe it was the day they bought that clunker of a Ford, or maybe it was when ol’ Carl got drafted. Heck, who can remember? And stop hiding the red Jell-O.

INDIANAPOLIS – America officially says “bye-bye” to former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle, set to appear in front of a federal judge today to admit to possession of child pornography. It is the end of a 17-year relationship, in which we were all amazed this nerdy guy was able to lose so much weight by just eating “fresh” fast food served off a plastic tray. Subway added the last nail in his professional career, tweeting yesterday that  “We have already ended our relationship with Jared and have no further comment.”

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was one year ago today that Chinese hackers made off with the Social Security numbers of 4.5 million patients at Community Health Systems Inc., a private hospital company. If the IRS starts sending millions of tax refunds to Shanghai, assume the motive has been discovered.

WORD OF THE DAY

Albertopolis – noun

Definition: A group of museums and other cultural interests in London, named in honor of Prince Albert.

Example -

Mother: “Joey, you sit around the house all day, doing nothing with your life. Meanwhile, you are missing out on all the exhibits at the Albertopolis.”

Joey: “Jeez, quit it Ma. Hey, do we have any more Cheez-its